12 Steps and A Winding Road

Lost And Found

2011-07-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever lost something that you considered valuable?... And then, when you've found it, it becomes even more precious?... Something you thought was gone forever...and then, suddenly it's back in your possession?

My mother-in-law and father-in-law both died a few years ago. They left behind a house full of memories. Decades of raising a family, friendships, struggles, love and laughter.
My wife and I had to put a lot of their stuff in storage, especially since she wasn't ready to deal with all the memories...yet.
So, as we're unpacking stuff the other day, we run across a couple of old paintings. Paintings that had been hanging on the wall of her folks house ever since she could remember. Old watercolor paintings. No particularly "beautiful" (in my limited artistic estimation), but nice. We considered taking them to the thrift store along with a few other things that didn't hold any particular sentimental value.
As I was looking at them I noticed that they were "original".... not your common art-store knock-off....and that the artwork was signed by the artist,... someone I didn't recognize.
So... I decided to do an Internet search, just to see who this artist was. Was he still living?...and, if so,...where?
It took me a while on the Internet to track him down.....but, eventually I did. He was still doing art and lived in a city just a few hundred miles from where we lived. He was now in his late 80's....and there was a telephone number. So I called.

"Hi, is this Mr. __________, who is an artist/painter?...
(I hear the voice of an elderly gentleman)...
"Yes, this is he.... who am I speaking to?"....

I told him who I was and that I thought I might have a couple of his paintings. Did he remember them?..... He didn't.
But, his wife suddenly got on the phone. She said, "Who is this calling?".... So, I explained to her the situation. I told her that I thought I had a couple of her husband's watercolors paintings, but wasn't sure. She said she didn't think that was possible....
I told her I would take a few pictures and email them to their email address. I did...

The next day I received an email response:.... "Yes, these are my husband's paintings! It's been years since he painted in watercolor!..... He painted stuff like this before we were married....60 years ago......
60 years.
And it just happened to be their 60th Wedding anniversary on THAT DAY!.... Amazing!
I told her I would love to mail her the paintings and she was ecstatic about it....even more than her husband.
Anyway, it's an interesting chain of events that lead to my mother-in-law having these paintings in her possession for the past 60 years. She had lived in the same city as the artist, had worked in a grocery store just down the street from his parents. To this day, my wife and I will never know, this side of heaven, the details of how she came to own them....for the artist says he never remembers selling any paintings "back then"......
Perhaps they were a wedding present when they were married in 1945?...

Things that were thought "lost".... are suddenly... "found".....

I know these paintings will mean more to him and his wife than anything he's done over the last few decades. That's just the way life is.. We lose things. Sometimes we find them and are overjoyed...sometimes they are lost forever and we mourn their loss. In this case, interestingly, they didn't even know they had "lost" something....something of sentimental value.
Well... now they do.
It's a story with a happy ending. Their own daughter is an artist also....and she will inherit something that her dad painted, even before she was born.....

Jesus said that "people" are like that. That HE came to seek and save the "lost"... (That would be us).....
Most people don't even realize that they're lost. That God has lost something of value that HE would love to have back......us. And, through Christ, He has provided the opportunity to get us back...to "redeem" us. That makes all of us valuable....whether we acknowledge it or not.....

Famous Last Words

2011-07-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have come to believe that when a person is dying, the thing that is foremost on their mind is (usually) the subject which interests them most in life. For most people I think, if they had the time to chose their last words it would be something like, "I love you".... or "tell my wife/kids /parents.... that I love them."

Recently I heard about the famous last words of P.T. Barnum (of Barnum And Bailey Circus fame), who was mostly interested in making money: "How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?"......
Those were his last words before he was ushered off into eternity.
It got me to thinking about other folks we might all have heard of and how they chose to utter their final thoughts in this world. Here are a few I found interesting...

"Is everybody happy? I want everyone to be happy? I know I'm happy". (Ethel Barrymore, actress) June 18, 1959......

"Go away! I'm alright." (H.G. Wells, famous author 1946

"I have a terrific headache." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, President 1945

"I've had 18 straight whiskies. I think that's the record." Dylan Thomas, poet 1953

"Why not. Yeah." (Timothy Leary, famous for his psychedelic drug use) 1996

"Let's cool it, brothers" (Malcolm X, right before he was assassinated)....1966

"Nothing matters. Nothing matters." (Louis B. Mayer, film producer)...1957

"I've never felt better!" (Douglas Fairbanks Sr. actor)...1939

"I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it." (Errol Flynn, actor...1959

"Yes, it's tough. But not as tough as doing comedy." ( Ed Gwenn, actor)...1959

"That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted." (Lou Costello, comedian)...1959

"My God, what happened?".... (Princess Diana)...1997

"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." (Humphrey Bogart, actor).. 1957

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do!" (Oscar Wilde, writer)... 1900

"Damn it!. Don't you dare ask God to help me." (Joan Crawford, actress)...1977

(One of my personal favorites)..."They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist....."... (General John Sedgwick, Union Army General... 1864 (during the Civil War)...

"I'm not the least afraid to die." (Charles Darwin)....1882

"All my posessions for a moment of time." (Queen Elizabeth The First)...1603

"Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?" (Jessica Dubroff, seven-year-old pilot, minutes before her plane crashed)...1996

"I'm about to...or I am going to...die. Either exprssion is correct. (Dominique Bouhours, French Grammarian)...1855

"Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit."... (Jesus Christ, Savior and Redeemer, Jewish Messiah) Three days later resurrected....still living.... 2011....and counting....

DONE!

2011-06-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

There is an older gentleman in our church who wears a lapel pin with simply the word "DONE" on it.
Webster's definition of the word "done" is: Quite finished and relegated to the past. To have done with, to put an end to, to have finished with.

One of the great satisfactions in life is to have a task completed, especially it's completed in a way that makes you proud of the accomplishment. It seems we humans are always "doing". We always have a list of things we want to get done. The same is true of how we think about things in the Spiritual realm, especially in our service to our Creator. If we are sensitive to our relationship to God we are constantly making promiese to ourselves and to "Him" that we are "going to DO better." Perhaps that means we're going to try to be kinder to our fellow man, more loving to our family, more active in our Church, Synagogue, Mosque, etc. I think all of us would agree that there is always room for improvement, that we could always do things better than we are doing at the present time.
Did you ever consider that when Jesus lived His life here among us that He had a task to accomplish also? Even though the Bible records that he spent the last three years of His life teaching about the things of God and healing the sick, even raising the dead back to life, the main message of the Gospels is that Jesus' primary task , or objective, was to... "die."
A lot of people will tell you that the death of Jesus Christ on a Roman Cross was one of history's greatest mistakes, one of life's greatest tragedies. The Bible, and Jesus Himself, would disagree with that conclusion.
Jesus said, "I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him (God the Father) who sent me. And this is the will of Him who sent Me. That everyone who looks to the Son of God and believes in Him shall have eternal life." (John 6:39-40)...
He also said, concerning the time immediately proceeding His death on the cross, "What shall I say? Father, save Me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour." (John 12:27)....
You see, Jesus' primary purpose on earth was to die. The Bible teaches that the death of Jesus was of utmost significance because, through His death, Jesus was paying the penalty (punishment) for all the sins you and I have ever committed in our lives. He died in our place so that the justice of God could be accomplished and that by simply believing in what he did for us, we could be saved from facing judgment for our sins. Jesus was able to do this because He was uniquely God in human flesh. HE was (is) the Creator, Who died on behalf of His creation (you and I).
Jesus said an interesting thing as He was dying on the cross. He said, "It is finished."

What was finished?....

The sacrifice for our sins. He had paid the price for our sins once and for all. He had DONE it all on the cross...and then confirmed it three days later when he arose from the dead.

What do we have to "DO" to be in a right relationship with God? Simply believe what Jesus has already done and accept it by faith on our behalf. The Bible says, "It is by GRACE you have been saved, through FAITH, (believing what Jesus has already done),... it is the GIFT of God, not by "works"... (Ephesians 2:8-9)....

The elderly gentleman in our church realized that he had found something very profound in believing the good news of the Gospel, ... and it could be summed up in the one little word "DONE".
It is a profound message....and a life-changer....

Honesty

2011-06-05T14:09:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite Geico commercials is the one where "honest" Abe Lincoln's wife asks him this question: "Does this dress make me look fat?"... And Abe, not wanting to lie, says, hesitatingly... "Maybe just a little". And his wife gets real mad and storms off....

(Actually my FAVORITE Geico commercial is the one where the woodchucks are throwing chunks of wood into a creek and the farmer pulls up on his tractor and says, .. "YOU DANG WOODCHUCKS QUITE CHUCKING MY WOOD!").... That one's a hoot....

Anyway, Abe Lincoln was known as "Honest Abe"..... Not sure why exactly, but it's not a bad thing to be thought of, ....being honest.

A couple weeks ago a gas-station owner lost 20,000 dollars in one day. There was some sort of mechanical malfunction which didn't allow the pump to tally up the actual price of gas that was being pumped. Instead of registering 3.75 a gallon, when folks filled their cars up, it registered something like 1.75 a gallon, thereby saving each customer about 60 bucks. The amazing thing is that this went on all day long without one customer going in and saying, "Hey, your pump is messed up. It's giving the wrong price!".... It was at least 7 hours before the station owner realized what was going on and was able to realize he was having one of his busiest days ever.

1....2....3...4...5...6....7..... hours...

What were all these people thinking? They were thinking: "I gotta call my wife/cousin/brother/mother/sister-in-law/boss/babysitter/baby sitter's cousin twice removed/...and get them down here to get in on some of this!"....

I'm sure there were a few who filled their tanks and said: "Thank You JEEEZUS!...I just KNEW God wanted to bless me today!"

(And all the while Jesus is chasing down the street after them saying: "WAIT!... Come back!... That wasn't from ME!... The guy's gas pumps are broken!".....WAIT...COME...baaaacccckkkk!)

Honesty.

It seems to be sorely lacking today as our society collapses into a "me" oriented society. When that happens we fail miserably to watch out for one another.... to be our "brother's keeper" as the Bible states we should be.

It's an easy place to slide into for some of us. I've been just as guilty as anyone in trying to justify my actions. Honesty isn't easy.

Sometimes we just do dumb things and we want to cover our tracks by being evasive.

"Is that YOUR Twitter picture, congressman Weiner?".... or..."Mr. President,...Did you have sex with that Lewinsky woman?"...

These would appear to be questions with a simple "yes" or "no" answer....don't you think?

Every once in awhile we hear stories about folks who go out of their way to return something that doesn't belong to them. A mistake had been made in their favor or they found a bunch of cash lying by the side of the road and turned it in to authorities. Stories like this. We admire those folks for their honesty, and,... somewhere down in our heart of hearts, we really DO want to be like them.

I think Jesus said it best when he said the second greatest commandment was to "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you". (Actually, it was "Love your neighbor as you love yourself", which is basically the same thing).....

I'm sure the gas station owner would have appreciated an honest person coming along sometime during those long 7 hours when he was being, literally,... robbed.

So...if my (or your) wife one day asks you the question: "Does this dress make me look fat"?...You should do the right and proper thing...which, in that case, would be.... lie like crazy and say..... NO!....

But...aside from that... we should strive to treat others the way we would want to be treated. It's a pretty good rule to try our best to live by.

Hope you all have a great week.
I mean that. .....I really do....
honestly....

You're Gonna Miss This

2011-05-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

She was starin' out the window of their SUV

Complain'in saying "I can't wait to turn 18"

She said, "I'll make my own money and I'll make my own rules."

Momma put the car in park out there in front of the school

And she kissed her head and said, "I was just like you"

(chorus);

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days

Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand-new bride

In a one bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by

He tells her it's a nice place, she says "It'll do for now"

Then she talks about babies and buying a house

Daddy shakes he head and and says, "baby just slow down"

(repeat chorus)

Five years later there's a plumber working on the water heater

Dogs barking, phones ringing, one kid crying, the other one screamin'

And she keeps apologizin'

He says, "They don't bother me"

I've got two kids of my own

One's twenty-six, one's thirty-three

Huh,...it's hard to believe

But you're gonna miss this....

(from "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins)

Peter was a boy who was strong and able, yet sadly flawed by an attitude of impatience. Always dissatisfied with his present condition, Peter spends his life daydreaming about the future.

One day while wandering in the forest, Peter meets a strange old woman who gives him a most tantalizing opportunity...the chance to skip the dull, mundane moments of life. She hands Pater a silver ball from which a tiny gold thread protrudes. "This is your life thread", she explains. "Do not touch it and time will pass normally. But if you wish time to pass more quickly, you only have to pull the thread a little way and an hour will pass like a second. But I warn you, once the thread has been pulled out, it cannot be pushed back in again."

This magical thread seems the answer to all of Peter's problems. It is just what he has always wanted. He takes the ball and runs home.

The following day in school Peter has his first opportunity to put the silver ball to use. The lesson is dragging and the teacher scolds Peter for not concentrating. Peter fingers the silver ball and gives the thread a slight tug. Suddenly the teacher dismisses the class, and Peter is free to leave school. He is overjoyed!. How easy his life will now be. From this moment, Peter begins to pull the thread a little every day.

But soon Peter begins to use the magic thread to rush through larger portions of life. Why waste time pulling the thread just a little every day when he cal pull it hard and complete school altogether? He does so and finds himself out of school and apprenticed in a trade. Peter uses the same technique to rush through his engagement to his sweetheart. He cannot bear to wait months to marry her, so he uses the gold thread to hasten the arrival of his wedding day.

Peter continues this pattern throughout his life. When hard, trying times come, he escapes them with his magic thread. When the baby cries at night, when he faces financial struggles, when he wishes his own children to be launched in careers of their own. Peter pulls the magic thread and bypasses the discomfort of the moment.

But, sadly, when he comes to the end of his life, Peter realizes the emptiness of such an existence. By allowing impatience and discontentment to rule him, Peter has robbed himself of life's richest moments and memories. With only the grave to look forward to, he deeply regrets ever having used the magic thread.

The moral to the story?..... Don't be so quick to want to rush through life. Whether the times are tough and disappointments arise, or whether the times are exciting and exhilarating.... it's all just a part of the journey...and the journey is the gift we have in this life here on earth. Take it all in,....you might just miss something you'll regret....

A Great Evil... Part 2

2011-05-05T12:41:00.000-07:00

Last week I talked about the Ten Boom family. A family who suffered greatly during the Nazi regime for their stand against the evils of Nazi-ism and German Socialism.

After World War 2 many of the German S.S. high command (military leadership) went into hiding. They were harbored by many nations. Most thought that they had escaped the world's wrath against them for their atrocities. Most were also hunted down and captured. War crimes trials were held in Nuremberg. Adolf Eichmann, one of Hitler's top henchmen, was allowed to speak and defend his actions.

His words: " I have broken no laws. I was simply following the laws of war and my flag."

Eichmann was correct.

German "law", in 1935, had deprived the Jewish people of German citizenship. There were also laws forbidding them to marry or have sexual relationship with anyone of the Aryan, "Germanic" Race. There were thirteen administrative regulations against the Jews that would later outlaw them completely, and, eventually, through intense propaganda, they were given the status of "non-human".

With Hitler's ability to make arbitrary "laws", there was no opposition, or at least, no opposition without the threat of severe punishment or death. Even pastors could be arrested for treason for resisting the new "laws" of the new German Socialist Government. Since they were "breaking the law" by resisting, they had no recourse.

It's hard, almost impossible, in our day, to imagine that a law could actually be imposed which would strip a person of his or her status of being "human". It's unfathomable, isn't it?

If such a law were passed, then the taking of a human life could be easily justified and rationalized. If it's resisted, then it must be a flaw on the part of the person who is not willing to validate the law of the land. They must be "subversive" in some way. If it's "legal", then it must be correct. Case closed.

At least that's the way the Nazi Party saw it. That's the way the German citizen accepted it without much opposition. (There were other, economic reasons also).

A pastor of a German church tells the story that, on Sunday, when the church would gather for worship, at a particular time, every Sunday, they would hear a train go by the back of their church during the service. They could hear the cries of the Jewish people as the train passed. It was a horrific sound. So, what did they do?

At that time, every Sunday, when they knew the train was to pass by, they made that time their "hymn singing" time. They would all sing just as loud as they could as the train passed by. That way they couldn't hear the cries of those "non-humans" barreling down the tracks towards Auschwitz.... and the ovens. It worked. They didn't hear them at all after that.

There's a saying, "If you want to see a Nation's God, then look at that Nation's Laws."

Eichmann's argument, although valid, succumbed to the decision of the War Crimes Tribunal. They weren't going to argue that what they Nazis did were "illegal" according to the laws of Germany. They were going to insist that there was a "higher" law in which to ultimately yield. There was a natural law that superseded the arbitrary laws of any particular nation. Although they couldn't exactly explain it, they knew that, just because something was "legal", it didn't make it "moral", and the hideous nature of the crimes stood in start contrast to human decency and sensitivity.... and morals.

Anyway, that's my rambling for this week. What does it all mean?

You decide.... Only as individuals can we decide when to resist and when to sing louder....

A Great Evil

2011-04-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

In the introduction to Corrie Ten Boom's amazing book, "The Hiding Place" she writes a snippet about her brother, Willem. He was a seminary student in Germany. In the year 1927 he wrote his doctoral thesis. In it he said, "A terrible evil is taking root in the land....seeds are being planted of a contempt for human life such as the world had never seen.

The few who read his paper had laughed.....

Few people could foresee the rise of Adolf Hitler and The Third Reich...and the systematic genocide of 6 million European Jews. It was unthinkable.

Several years later Corrie Ten Boom, her father and her sister were rounded-up, placed in railroad cattle-cars and shipped off to Ravensbruck Concentration Camp, where Corrie watched thousands die of malnutrition, the firing squad, or placed in ovens. She witnessed her sister die of malnutrition. She only learned of her father's death after she was released, years later.

Corrie Ten Boom and the Ten Boom family weren't Jewish. They were Dutch. They watched helplessly as Nazi troops stormed into their quaint village in Holland in 1938. They had many friends, neighbors and business acquaintances who were Jews. One of their Jewish neighbors was, like the Ten Booms, a clock-maker. One day he didn't open his business. They thought he was ill. The next day he didn't open his business,... or the next. He simply "disappeared"....

They started noticing people on the street wearing yellow stars stitched to their clothing. It was the Star of David, with the word, "Juden" (the German word for "Jew") splashed across it. If you were Jewish you were required to wear it. If you didn't, then you were executed on the spot.

The Ten Booms lived in a large house that was actually two houses connected to each other. A house with a lot of strange twists and turns and mis-shapen rooms... an architectural nightmare. They were approached by a Jewish friend. Would they be willing to hide Jews? There were several who knew they were next to be rounded-up by the S.S. Would they be willing? There were risks.

They didn't hesitate. They said, "yes", of course, these are God's People. We'll do whatever we can.

Shortly they were visited by a nice older gentleman who went through their house and picked out a special "hiding place",... a small, narrow space behind Corrie's bedroom wall. It was perfect. He spent the next few days "remodeling" Corrie's room and turning it into a safe place to hide the Jews. Several came. There was room for approximately ten, if they didn't mind being stuffed like sardines while the Nazi soldiers tried their best to ferret them out.

The never could find....The Hiding Place.

But Corrie and her family members were identified as being those who were sympathetic to Jewish people. The Germans "knew" she and her family were hiding Jews,...whether they could be found or not.

So.... that's how Corrie Ten Boom and her sister, Betsie, and their elderly father found themselves arrested and imprisoned. They were physically beaten...but they never gave up their friends, the Jews. They were well aware of the evil that had overtaken their nation...the evil, as Willem had said years earlier,....which was a contempt for human life unlike the world had ever seen.

It's called "Antisemitism". It's defined as a hatred towards a particular people group based on nationality or religion.

You may be asking yourself..... "Why is Bob writing about something like this?"....

I had just completed reading this book, "The Hiding Place". I read it probably 25 years ago and it had made a lasting impression on my mind. Twenty-five years ago.....

Then, I just happen to turn on the television and I saw this video that came out just a few days ago. It was a video from Germany. An Islamic cleric was giving a hate-filled speech and a rant against Israel and "The Jews".
The link to the video that was placed on Youtube is on my original email to you. A new Corrie Ten Boom perhaps? We should all ask ourselves.... "Could I do this?".... "Would I be brave enough to stand up to the hate and violence of evil?".... "Could I, at least, "try" to keep history from repeating itself?"

There's an old saying: "Those who won't learn from history are bound to repeat it".

That saying is so true,...and, I believe, especially relevant for the days in which we live.

"When the Nazis came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent: I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists, I remained silent: I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I was not a Jew.

When they came for me.... there was no one left to speak out."...... Martin Niemoller

Imagine....Easter

2011-04-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No sky above us

Below us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today....

The stereo resounded with the latest album from ex-Beatle, John Lennon.

Smoke from marijuana and hashish filled the room. A young man sits quietly to one side of the room....thinking...contemplating.... his last day(s) on earth. Suicide is an awful thought,...but sometimes one feels painted into a corner where there is no escape...

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too...

How did he get to this place in life? ... and at such a young age. Everything seems against him. Life sucks. Friends?.... What friends?... Other people who like to drink, get stoned, listen to music? But what do they say behind his back?... loser....screw-up..... The kid who has no future, ... no hope....

In the corner a television is on. The volume is muted. It's Easter Weekend and on this Friday a Passion Play is being broadcast. A man carries his cross up a lonely hill. Bruised and battered and bloody, this unrecognizable figure of a man. Soldiers accompany him. They lay him down on this rough-cut timber. A hammer is lifted.....nails are driven....

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll come join us

And the world will live as one

The young man is transfixed.... watching....

The nails. They are driven mercilessly through the man's wrists and through his feet. Agonizing. Time seems to stop. The cross is lifted into the air where the man struggles with every breath.

Now, it's just the young man...and the scene before him. The cross,...the execution... the...dying...

The young man hears a still, small voice. It seems to come from within him, but he's not sure. The voice speaks: "I did this for you." I have come for YOU tonight!... Trust in Me and I will deliver you from death and give you life."

The young man looks around the room at his "friends". They're all stoned, having a grand time. The music plays loudly. But,.... what is real? Is this "real"?... Or,... is Jesus Christ "real"?.... What have I been missing all these years?...

Sure, he knows about Jesus. But,... he's never been broken before so he's never really found the need. What did he ever have to be saved from?...

But.... What if it is true?... What if Jesus Christ really did live and die... and rise from the dead?... For him?.... What if God really loves him that much?....

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...

The young man breaks down into tears. Locks himself in the bathroom,...sobbing. His friends are knocking on the door? "What's wrong?"... "What are you doing in there"?...

Finally, the young man composes himself. Out of the bathroom,... out of the house,... across the yard, ...into his car... Starts it up.

Where is he going? He doesn't know.... just away from there.... hopefully, away from this whole world. But where is God? Where IS God? Where IS Jesus?.... "Lord, I need You".... answer me."

A familiar face peers at him through the driver's window. "Where are you going?" It's someone from the party.

The only answer?...." To find Jesus."

"Jesus!".... Are you crazy?".... There's no Jesus. I know. I've been there... done that. There's nothing there."....

"There's nothing there."

The young man stammers. "O.K... But, I have to find out for myself.... goodbye.".... He starts the car and drives away.... for the last time.

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one....

The search is on. The heart is stirred. A Greater Love is in pursuit... or, is it "being" pursued?.... Sometimes it's hard to tell who is doing the seeking.

The young man finds himself in a small bible study a few days later, invited by an old friend from his past. A "Jesus Freak"... who now, suddenly, doesn't seems so weird after all.

It's an interesting bible study...but, the young man is anxious. Do these people know Jesus? Do they know how to find Him? Do they have any idea how important it is that this young man find Him?.... His very life is at stake.

The study ends. The leader of the bible study has a question. "Is there anyone here who wants to know Jesus Christ?.... Who wants to follow Him?

The young man's hand shoots straight up into the air!

Is this guy for real?

What is he saying? Is Jesus in the back room somewhere?.... Confusion.

But, the young man is all in. Whatever it is that he has to do to find salvation, he's there. Say a prayer. Did a hole and jump in. Crawl through barbed-wire? Run through a fire?.... Whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes.....

It takes a prayer.

And a heart that is hungry and a soul that is broken and needy. The young man finds himself there again,...at the foot of the cross... looking up into the face of love.... and forgiveness.... and peace... and joy... and LIFE.

Easter, ... 1972. The Easter that changed my life...forever....

I pray that this Easter finds you at the foot of the cross. And I pray that your life is changed,... as mine was... all those years ago. Newness of life. I've never been the same since. My "old friends" can testify to that..... I never looked back.....

to that "old" life.

There's nothing there. ...

"He is risen"!

"He is risen...indeed...."

P.T.S.D. Part two

2011-04-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to those who responded to my last posting about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Evidently it had meaning to a few of my readers... To elaborate on major symptoms mentioned in previous post. Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks... Flashbacks are the reliving of the traumatic experience, just as if you were back there again. This can be brought on (triggered by): certain sudden explosions, helicopters or motorized heavy equipment, the smell of human waste, decay or blood, diesel or jet fuel, dirty canvass, driving down a dusty or sandy road (especially if you've been in a war zone)...people screaming, crowds, hot, dry days...etc. Only you know what your trigger might be. Isolation and avoidance... You may subconsciously be trying to avoid activities, places or people...things which "might" be a trigger to arouse bad memories. The desire to become a hermit by leaving all behind only takes you further away from the objective to re-integrate into normal social situations. In this case it might be necessary to limit your exposure to people and events and try to use good judgment of when to avoid and when to engage those around you. Emotional numbing... Distancing oneself from a topic of conversation, a situation, person or potential trigger which reminds you of a traumatic event. The fear of losing control emotionally, which causes you to deal in negative, aggressive way. This is why war veterans (or the victims of any trauma) have a hard time talking about their experiences. It brings back too many bad memories, which they believe, should be avoided. Depression... Overwhelming sadness and fear that the feelings your experiencing will never get better. A depressed person can feel helpless, hopeless and unworthy of being loved. A big warning sign is sleeping to excess. This is a way of escape for a lot of people, unless sleeping brings with it nightmares, which is often the case. If that is the case, the person who is depressed often "self-medicates" by excessive drinking or drug use. Depression can be totally overwhelming and anyone experiencing symptoms of depression should be encourage to reach out and get help. Seek out help...find something, anything...to look forward to. Learn to practice self-care. Get a time-consuming hobby. Learn a new skill, spend time with an animal friend, get some good, old-fashioned exercise, find a trusted friend or family member you enjoy being with. Get yourself on a schedule, forcing you to get up, take a shower, get motivated, even if it's just a small thing...set some goals... Anger.... You are angry that you have had to experience what you have experienced. Anger reflects a variety of feelings such as betrayal, lack of trust, frustration, sadness and guilt. Anger is a way of "acting out" frustration, leaving you and those around you stunned and afraid. Often this anger is taken out on loved-ones and can end up in domestic violence. Realize that at the bottom of your anger and frustration is the fact that most of those around you don't understand the depth of the trauma and have no ideal, or reality, as to what you have experienced. Sometimes this anger is the reason for "road rage", a form of acting out your aggression. I talked a bit about this in my last blog. The soldier coming home from Iraq who is used to driving in a convoy that is always hyper vigilant when it comes to driving in traffic. Being cut-off, or rear-ended by another car can be an explosive trigger that can lead to an episode of road rage. Some suggestions that have worked for other veterans are: Physical exercise that is appropriate for your physical limitations Reduction of caffeine, alcohol or drug use Relaxation/study/meditation Well-balanced diet and getting appropriate amount of rest If these are things you can't do on your own or with the help of a close friend or relative, it is critical that you get professional help in this area. Contact the Veterans Administration and they can get you the right help to begin dealing with these issues. We will continue to look at more symptoms of P.T.S.D. next week. As I mentioned before, for war veterans, a great resource is the book, "Down Range...To Iraq and Back" by Bridget C. Cantrell and Chuck Dean. Even though the book deals with the Iraq War, it is relevant to the veterans of any war or military action. Also, a good resource is a video series called "The War Within", ...contact Day of Discovery, P.O. Box 2222, Grand Rapids, MI 49501-2222 or on the web at: www.rbc.org

P.T.S.D.

2011-03-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Most of us don't have an anxiety attack when we we're driving and see a pop can or a dead animal by the side of the road. Most of us don't have the impulse to drive back and forth across lanes of traffic when we're going under a bridge. You might if you've served military duty in Iraq or Afghanistan and wached in horror as one of the vehicles in your convoy was exploded by and I.E.D. (Improvised Explosive Device).... or had someone try to drop a grenade on your vehicle when you were driving under a bridge. Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Back before there was a proper clinical diagnosis, this post-war phenomenon was simply known as "Battle Fatigue", or "Shell Shock". Soldiers from all nations have suffered from PTSD after confronting the mayhem of war. PTSD occurs when any person, military or not, has been confronted with a traumatic event which involved actual or threatened death or serious physical injury to themselves or others. This is a point in their lives when they responded with intense fear, horror or helplessness. The most recent primary diagnostic criteria for PTSD falls into three groups and are summarized as follows: * Re-experiencing the trauma through nightmares, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. * Numbing and avoidance of reminders of the trauma. (Avoidance of situations, thoughts and feelings, etc.) * Persistent increased arousal (sleep difficulties, irritability, anger outbursts, startled responses, etc.) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen to anyone, even those not in a war zone. Examples might include, rape, a mugging, child abuse, etc. (Consider what the people of Japan are now enduring with the tsunami and the earthquake and nuclear plants).... Any "event" that leaves lasting scars on the memory. One of the men in our church group who has served three terms in Iraq (one as a civilian, still working for the army as a private contractor), recently told us of his own unique challenges since coming home and striving to return to a "normal" life. One of the symptoms he described since coming back from the war is his "hyper-alertness"... always on-guard, watch the people and his surroundings....always looking for the "attack" that could happen at any time. He shared with us that one time, his car was re-ended in an accident. It brought back a flashback of the convoy he was in while Iraq and how the enemy sought to "block in their vehicle" so that they were helpless to escape a fire-fight. Suddenly, just with the impact, as small as it was, to the rear of his vehicle, he found himself back in Iraq, getting ready to fight for his life. Below are the major symptoms of someone suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of them may reveal clues that you, or a loved-one, might be dealing with the results of PTSD. *Depression *Cynicism and mis-trust of government and authority *Anger *Alienation *Sleep disturbances *Poor Concentration *Tendency to react under stress with survival tactics *Psychic or emotional numbing *Negative self-image *Memory impairment *Emotional constriction *Hypersensitivity to justice *Loss of interest in work and activities *Problems with intimate relationships *Survivor guilt *Difficulty with authority figures *Hyper-alertness, Hyper-arousal *Avoidance of activities that arouse memories of trauma in war zone *Emotional distance from children, wife and others *Self-deceiving and self-punishing patterns of behavior, such as an inability to talk about war experiences, fear of losing others, and a tendency to fits of rage. *Suicidal feelings and thoughts *Flashbacks to dangers and combat *Fantasies of retaliation and destruction *High-risk employment and/or recreation Just by acknowledging some of the traits mentioned above can have healing effects for you and your loved-ones. If you or someone you know are exhibiting some of these behaviors you should consider addressing some of these problems in a timely manner. There is help available. For combat veterans I highly recommend the book, "Down Range" to Iraq and Back, written by Bridget C. Cantrell and Chuck Dean (WordSmith Publishing). We'll be looking at this issue further next week in my next Monday Morning Blog.

Green Beer and Snakes

2011-03-14T07:05:00.001-07:00

I thought this title might stir some attention......:-)

St. Patrick's Day is approaching. Most folks think of partying....wearing green and drinking green beer. Like myself, most have never given much consideration to the story of St. Patrick. So.....here's a bit...

Patrick was a missionary to Ireland, and the only missionary to be honored with a global holiday, known for it's distinct color of green. Legend has it that he drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Historically this is inaccurate and most likely is simply a reference to Christianity unseating the Druid religion of the time, the Druids being the "snakes".

He was born in the year 373 A.D. in the country that is now "Scotland", the son of a church deacon and the grandson of a priest. As a teenager, his village was raided, his small village torched and Patrick was taken captive by ship to Ireland, where he was sold as a slave to a master who was a druid (a pagan religion). While in Ireland Patrick gave his heart to Jesus Christ. He wrote... "The Lord opened my mind up to awareness of my unbelief in order that I might remember my transgressions and turn with all my heart to the Lord my God".
Patrick eventually escaped from his Irish master and returned home to Scotland.
One night he had a dream and saw in his dream and Irishman calling out to him to come and evangelize Ireland. When Patrick was around 30 years old he returned to his country of captivity and began to preach the gospel. Multitudes turned out to listen to the message, and although he was violently opposed by the Druids, he became the most fruitful evangelist of all time, planting about 200 churches and baptizing 10,000 converts to Christianity.
Patrick's work endured, and centuries later the Irish Church was still producing hymns, prayers, sermons and songs of worship.
An unknown Irish poet wrote a prayer asking God to be His Vision, His Wisdom, and his Best Thought by day or night. In 1905, Mary Elizabeth Byrne, an Irish scholar, translated this poem into English. Later, another scholar, this one from England, crafted it further into verses with rhyme and meter. Eventually it was set to the music of a traditional Irish folk song, "Slane", named for an area where Patrick reportedly challenged the local Druids with the gospel.
Today it is one of the best known, most loved hymns ever written....

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart
Be naught all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be Thou My Wisdom and Thou my true Word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord
Thou my great Father and I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art

High king of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, bright heaven's sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all

Denial: It's Not A River In Egypt

2011-03-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

Charlie Sheen is all over the news. I've watched a few interviews with him. I think, to a lot of people, they're entertaining. I guess they are...to a point. Then again, it's hard to watch a human being implode on national T.V.

When I first saw him I said to myself, "There's a textbook case of addiction and denial. He could be the poster-child for "denial" in the realm of addiction.

There's an old saying, "Denial isn't a river in Egypt".

Denial is a self-defense mechanism that addicts use to reflect any confrontation concerning their drug use or subsequent actions. If one doesn't "see" a problem, then, in their warped way of thinking, they don't have to do anything about it. Nothing has to actually change. "My life is just fine, thank you very much.... now.... butt out!"...

Addiction isn't "subjective". It's not based on how one feels. It's more "objective". It's observable. How has the life you are now living affected those around you? How does it affect your job?... Your children?... Your health?... Your circle of friends? (Assuming that not all your friends share in your addictive behaviors)..

In Mr. Sheen's case, his actions have definitely affected the lives of all the people who work on his television show, those whose jobs have been put in jeopardy by how he has chosen to act.

Another thing that I noticed was the "grandiose" way in which he speaks. He puts himself above all other people. He's "different" than us, the common folk. We couldn't "handle" having his superior brain in our bodies. He's not "terrestrial" like the rest of the human race.

One interviewer mentioned to him that some professionals in the health care field would label him "bipolar", meaning that he has wide mood swings, going from feeling ecstatic to being depressed. Often, addiction and mood disorder goes hand in hand. A person with a mood disorder will often "self medicate" to control the way they feel. Someone who is truly bipolar may use alcohol or pain pills to counter the effects of mania. Someone who is feeling depressed might turn to stimulants like cocaine or amphetamines. It's a constant battle over the emotions to try and "feel right". The disorder can definitely lead to drug abuse and addiction. As many as 60% of people with bipolar disorder have some sort of substance abuse problem that goes along with it. It's called a Dual Diagnosis. I don't know if that is what is going on with Charlie Sheen. Since he doesn't want any professional intervention, then only time will tell.

He mocked the interviewer who suggested he might be bipolar by saying, "So, if I'm bipolar shouldn't there be a time when I crash, when I'm crying, lying in the corner saying it's all my mom's fault? Shut up!"...

Just because his mood swing (if in fact, that's the case) hasn't run it's course, doesn't mean that, in the long-term, he won't find himself right there in that exact position. That takes the disorder into even more dangerous territory. Over-medicating (overdose), or suicide. Perhaps both...accidental suicide by taking too much of a substance. It has happened to quite a few famous folks. Marilyn Monroe is one who comes to mind.

Denial. That's the first hurdle to get over, and by far the hardest one. No one wants to see himself/herself as "different". (Apart from the grandiose feelings associated with mania).

The number one symptom of denial is the "denial" of it's existence. It causes everlasting blindness. It will fight viciously for it's own survival all the way to insanity, institutionalization and even death. Addiction welcomes the person who has vowed to "beat it by themselves". The last thing addiction wants is for others to join in the fight against it. I guess you could call denial a "river". It's the river that carries a person down to a watery grave.

I don't know how Charlie Sheen's story is going to play out. Only time will tell.

I was thinking about him the other night and I heard a still, small voice speaking to me. The voice said, "Why don't you pray for him?"
I thought that was good advice... So I did. I am. I hope you will too. It would be great to see him turn his life around and become a role-model for the power of God and the power of grace.

I believe it could happen.

Keeping Your Eye On The Ball

2011-02-25T12:27:00.000-08:00

I started writing this blog in November, 2010. My "New Years" resolution was to write this blog and expound upon issues that dealt with life, love and addiction. One year. Well, I kept it up now for about 15 months and I've gotten some good feedback from folks, which I appreciate.

I started the blog to promote my new CD, "12 Steps And A Winding Road"... and also, to try and "make a difference" in someone else's life. I hope I have succeeded, at least to a small degree.

My first blog was called, "Barn Building". It was inspired by something my son Nate told me about the Amish and how, whenever adversity strikes in the community, or if they simply need it, they get together and work together to make a positive difference. A lot of the time they get together to "build a barn" for someone in the community. Nate told me that he was taking a year of barn-building,... just making himself available to anyone who needed a hand, if he was able to do it. I thought that was pretty admirable. It motivated me to try and do the same thing with my music.

So, this past year I've sort of "put myself out there", making myself available to people, especially as far as my music ministry goes. I've had some good response, but I must admit, for the most part, as I mentioned in a previous blog, I've also had a lot of doors that simply didn't open. Am I disillusioned? Yea, I am somewhat. But, I made a commitment to at least try, and I'm still as willing as ever to be of service.

I wrote a blog called, "The One Thing Rule", about having one thing that you make a commitment to accomplish. That "one thing" might be accomplished in a day, or a week, or a month, or even a year.... but, it is something that you keep on your radar and try to do. If it's a year then you have to handle it in bite-size chunks so it doesn't overwhelm you. That's the way it was the year I recorded the 12-Steps CD.... a bit here and a bit there until I finally got it done.

This year my goal is to get rid of "stuff" in my life that doesn't need to be there. The baggage that somehow all of us acquire that sort of "weighs down" our lives. I want to live a bit more "clutter free".

Do you know what your "baggage" is? Most of the time it's simply "stuff", but, it might even be a relationship with someone who is dragging you down. People can do that. Addicts are told that they need "new playmates" and a "new playground". This is important if they are to achieve any success at sobriety. But, even if you don't consider yourself an "addict", there might be the possibility that, at least in some regard, you might want to consider changing playmates or playgrounds, just for the sake of good health or sanity. This doesn't mean necessarily that you desert your friend(s) altogether. It might simply mean that you need to distance yourself from a particular relationship that is hindering your physical or mental health. Something to think about anyway.

So,... whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish, whether it's building a barn, keeping sobriety, setting any particular goal,.. it's good to remember to keep your eye on the ball....so it doesn't knock you in the head...

If you know of someone who might be interested in my 12-Step music CD, I have made it available on Ebay and plan to keep it on there as long as it seems feasible to do so. You can go to ebay and simply type in the words: 12 Steps And A Winding Road

Thanks again for all your good comments over the year. You've been an encouragement to me.
I may change things up a bit and, though not altogether stopping the blog, I may just limit it to times when I think I have something useful to say and not simply put it out there every week.
If you have some suggestions I'd love to hear them....

Easily Offended?

2011-02-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

Offend...Defined as:

"To affront, hurt the feelings of someone; to arouse feelings of disgust in; to act contrary to law, moral principal etc; to cause resentment. (Websters)

"A brother (or sister) offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle".... Proverbs 18:19

I think I offended someone recently.

I got an email from one of my readers telling me to "take me off your list" for 12stepsandawindingroad.

My immediate reaction was, "Well... fine then... done!".... And I simply deleted their name.

A few days later, as I thought about it a bit more, I wish I would have handled it differently. I wish I would have gotten in touch with this person and asked them exactly what I had said in my blog that offended them. I thought the particular blog that weekend had been pretty innocuous, nothing controversial about it at all (I thought). But, there must have been that one line or two that they read which somehow triggered this reaction.

It's easy to offend someone, even when it's not our intention to do so. There have been cases where I have purposely offended someone just because I didn't like them or their position on a subject and I really didn't care whether they were offended or not. I'm not proud of it, ... I think it's just part of the human (fallen) condition.

A few years ago I had a casual business relationship with a company I did a small amount of work for. One day, the business owner was dealing with a customer in a particularly unhelpful way. I thought I was going to be "helpful" and so I told the business owner that there might have been a better way to handle the situation. Bad move. I offended him. His only thought was that I was trying to tell him how to run his business. I thought of it only as a suggestion,... he took it as a hostile takeover.
A couple of days later I called him and apologized for interfering. His response?... "Yea,.. O.K."... And he never called me again to do any work for him. So, obviously, as King Solomon said in Proverbs 18.... The bars to the castle were locked and in place. There was no winning this person's favor.

The longer I travel down this road of life I see how easily our words, and especially, our motives, can be misconstrued. Even though we may mean well when we say certain things, most of the time trying to be helpful and offer what we consider "constructive criticism", we end up simply offending the other person. Sometimes it seems like life is like walking a tightrope across a great chasm... one small slip and it's, as the old saying goes,... all over but the shouting.

I'm sorry that I offended this particular reader with something I said in a blog. I really wish I had pursued it and found out exactly what it was. Perhaps I could have explained things better, or at least had a dialogue.
I guess when one says more than most about life, love and addiction issues, there are going to be some points of contention. I just hope that next time the person writes me a personal note and we can discuss it in an open, honest fashion. I can always be reached at this email address: coloringmoses@yahoo.com

I hope this email address doesn't offend anyone;.... you know... coloring "Moses".
(Could I be belittling a beloved Bible Character?)....

One never knows ....unless they ask.....

STUFF

2011-02-07T09:11:00.000-08:00

Stuff...(stuff)..stack it on, stack it on up

Stuff...never gonna ever get enough stuff

Oh it's treasure til' it's mine then it ain't worth a dime

It's stuff (stuff) spreading like weeds

Dragging me under in an endless seas of stuff

(Stuff) There ain't no end

Got to get a bigger place so I can move in...

More stuff...

From the song: "Stuff" by Diamond Rio

People love collecting things.

One of my favorite television shows is called, "American Pickers". It is a show about two guys who travel the country looking through old barns and building where people have spent a lifetime collecing "treasure".... old toys and cars and signs and some really crazy stuff. It's interesting to see all the stuff that people accumulate over a lifetime. The "pickers" try to buy the various items so they can re-sell the stuff at their own flea-market type of store....
It seems most of the collectors are older guys and gals, coming to the end of their lives, so they are ready to part with some of their things. Some of their things,... not all.. just "some". It's still amazing to me the stuff they just can't let go of.

I remember when Beanie Babies were the big "collectible". Folks were trading them, buying them, making showcases for them in their homes. They were all over the place,.. and they weren't, as I recall,.... cheap.

Now you can go into about any thrift store and find them. Pitiful little things,...lambs and frogs and squirrels and bunnies and lobsters. Once dearly treasured and loved,.. now abandoned by their owners on the ash-heap of history.

Then there was the big baseball card bonanza. I particularly remember that one because my kids were at the age when they just "had" to have that Jose Conseco rookie card. The one that sold for about 70 bucks. I think it's now worth about a nickel, especially since that game where Jose tried to catch the outfield fly with the top of his head. And Mark McGwire. Well,... his card used to be on steroids. Now it's just a skinny little cardboard reminder of the once heralded superstar.

Stuff....

I collect (collected).... record albums. You probably remember the old, black vinyl records with all the cool artwork and inserts.... and clicks and pops and "white noise".... being "spun"on the old turntables. I still love the smell of the old vinyl records, and, occasionally will rummage through an old stack at a garage sale, searching for that elusive "Butcher Cover" album. (Google it, young'uns).

Stuff....

As I've gotten older I've had to take a serious look at the time I spend on this planet. It's gotten a lot shorter,... and, I hope I've learned to value it a bit more than I have in the past.

I am finding that I no longer have the desire to collect "stuff".

I can just picture my kids or grandkids sitting around sifting through my "stuff" after I'm gone. They're saying things like.... "What is all this junk!"... "What in the world is THIS thing?....and why did dad keep holding onto it?"....

And finally.... "Hey, can you grab another trash-bag? I've gotten these three filled up already?"...

Stuff.....

It's sort of an indication of the human condition. We're always trying to fill our lives with "something" that hopefully will give lives some meaning. I think it's our attempt to fill this God-sized hole in our souls.

Whether it's Beanie Babies, old records, baseball cards, cars, old clocks, old lunch-boxes (the list is endless),.... or the next "big thing", whatever it may be, I think it helps to take a step back and look at our lives and what we're doing with our time and talents.

One reason I started writing this blog is to share some of my feelings about life, love, and addiction issues. It's sort of my way of "journaling". When I write about these things, in a lot of ways (most ways), I'm simply preaching to myself or venting, and trying to fumble my way down this road of life the best I know how. I don't want "stuff" to get in the way, as it usually has a way of doing. I want to get the "junk" out of my life so I can move about more freely, have more time to give back a bit of the God-given life that I've been blessed with.

I don't want my grandkids filling up trashbags and thinking....that's my life.

Stuff..... How much of it do we need....really?

Well, Aren't You Special?

2011-02-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

If you were to go back ten generations, or 250 years, which is just a blip on the historical time clock, the chance of "you" being born at all is:
1 in 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,00000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000..!!!

That's 6 with one hundred zeros behind it.... (6x10 to the 100th power)....
That's just if you go back a short 250 years.

If you are reading this you've already beaten the odds of being born... which are basically so astronomical that you could simply say.... "zilch"....

But, that's a bit overestimated. These figures simply follow the "father's" contribution to the person you are. They don't take into consideration:

Your mother's contribution....

The men and women who died in war, famine, disease or without offspring... in some generations, 50% of humanity....

men and women who died of natural causes.....

Children who died before reaching reproduction age....

Fetuses and fertilized eggs that died and were naturally aborted....

Remember that particular distant relative of yours who was killed during the Revolutionary War?...Of course you don't. Besides, he DIDN'T get killed. If he HAD been killed, you wouldn't be reading this today.

An average man, age 25 to 30 years old, produces 300 million sperm per day. (Is this the part of the story where you send your children into the other room?).....

An average man, age 30 to 50 years old produces 230 million sperm per day. (Did I mention this was per "day"?)....

Age 50 to 75... 50 million per day. (sorry, old guys... that's life)...Still, 50 MILLION is nothing to sneeze at!)....

Only 1% of all sperm produced have the chance of possibly fertilizing a woman's egg, if they ever arrive at their destination at all...(99% have already dropped out of the race).

Since the average man will have 2 to 3 surviving offspring, (keeping "Octomom" out of the equation).... the fraction of one male sperm (at one given moment in history), resulting in the birth of another human being (that would be "you').. is 1 in ten trillion.

If you consider almost any time in the past and try to calculate the probability of "you" coming into being, even going back just 2 generations, your possibility of existence is so low that it is almost not worth thinking about.

So... why are you thinking about it?... Perhaps because you're reading this blog at a certain date, at a certain time in history, in a particular country, in a particular part of the country, in a particular city, from a particular family.... and you, really, ...given the odds,... shouldn't be.

Now... to get the the point of all of this....

When you wake up every morning, just remember, that you've already beaten astronomical odds just for the opportunity to open your eyes, to take a breath, to live, to pursue a career, to fall in love, to have children... to use your unique opportunity to either be selfish... or self-less. You can run rough-shod over the the amazing grace of God and walk all over other people, ... or you can use the opportunity to serve and really make a difference in someone else's life; Someone who has also beaten the odds of showing up in your life at some point.

So, ... go and hug your wife,... your kids... your husband... your friends... maybe even have a kind word to say to a co-worker.... maybe someone you don't even really like.

They are all special. You're special. Let's try to make the most of what we've been given. If you are reading this, the odds are, .. miraculously... in your (our) favor today...

Choices

2011-01-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

I've had choices...Since the day I was born...There were voices...That told me right from wrong...If I had listened...No, I wouldn't be here today... Living and dying with the choices I've made...

I was tempted...by an early age I found... I liked drinkin'...Oh, and I never turned it down...There were loved-ones...But I turned them all away...Now I'm living and dying with the choices I've made...

I guess I'm payin'.... For the things that I have done...If I could go back..Oh, Lord knows I'd run...But I'm still losin'...This game of life I play... Living and dying with the choices I've made....

George Jones (from the song: "Choices")

Choices....

They built a new Dunkin' Donuts close to my work. I love Dunkin' Donuts!... They built it right across the parking lot from "24-Hour Fitness".... I call that,....irony. I usually stop at the big double D at least once a week and get my favorite,... the Toasted Coconut Cake Donut. And, every time, I look across the parking lot and see the Fitness place and feel this twinge (not a big twinge)... but a "twinge" of guilt. I could "choose" to be part of the 24-Hour Fitness brigade rather than the Dunkin' Brigade. The fact that the donut is less than a buck and the fitness club is $300 a MONTH might have something to do with my choosing to pursue the path of fattiness (not to mention pursuit of "donut happiness".... rather than being the ideal physical specimen. (Though I have seen some going out the door of 24-Hour who could use a good dose of donut here and there)....

Choices....

I read somewhere that life is just a series of choices. Hopefully, we make some good ones. A lot of the times we do not, we choose things that take us down the wrong path. Just like George Jones, sometimes we choose things that set-in to ruin our lives... drugs, alcohol, etc. ...

Nobody I know sets out to be an addict. I've never seen a little kid tell his parents, "When I grow up I want to be a stoned-out drug addict... or maybe a drunk.... and, by the way mom an dad,... can I borrow a few dollars to get started?"

Choices....

The hardest part about being a counselor is convincing someone that, as long as they're still breathing, they are able to make choices. The choice doesn't have to be "put the bottle down and walk away and never pick it up again." The choice is a lot simpler. Hard, but simpler. You have the choice to start making small decisions that will, eventually, lead to freedom.

Small choices: Admit powerlessness. Accept good counsel. Get into fellowship with fellow travelers (like A.A or N.A.).... Attend meetings. Begin to take small steps. Get a sponsor. Begin learning to "trust" someone. Be open. Be honest..... be "willing"....

Choices....

Even if we've made some very bad choices in life, there is a God of grace who is willing to meet us,...redeem us,... set us on a good path....

An old friend of mine made one bad choice which caused him to become a quadriplegic for life.

I dare say that most people would have let that bad choice become a black cloud of depression for life. But, ...this remarkable man went on to make some really good choices. He made some very good friends, .... he pursued art. He was a painter and he painstakingly created some beautiful watercolor paintings. He had art exhibits. He went back to school and got an art degree. Helped others to see beauty in art and nature. This was a man I seldom saw who didn't have a smile on his face or an encouraging word to say. He never lost his faith in the mercy and goodness of his God. An amazing man.

Choices....

"Living and dying by the choices me make".... small ones, ....big ones,... daily choices...

Sometimes it's just Donuts Vs. Carrots.....

Windshield Wipers

2011-01-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

Robert Kearns changed my life.....

And.... your life....

Back in the 1950's Robert Kearns got a brilliant idea one day when he was driving through a rainstorm. He kept having to stop and start his windshield wipers as the rain came down either heavier or tapered off to almost nothing. His idea?... Why not invent a windshield wiper that you could control to come on "intermittently"... constant in a downpour but perhaps just once every few seconds when there was only a light rain or mist?...

So... he did. He called it The Blinking Eye Windshield Wiper. Since Robert was an inventor at heart it didn't take him long to get the electronics just right...and installed on his own car.

The next step?... Take it to FORD MOTOR CO...... And he did.

They were impressed. They wanted to know how it worked... but, Robert wouldn't show them. He simply wanted them to buy his invention and give him a small cut for every one they sold.

They told him they would think about it. And they thought about it.... and thought about it.

Robert waited, but never heard back from FORD. But, about a year later Ford came out with the brand new Mustang, ... and, lo and behold,... one big selling feature of the new Mustang... the brand-new "Intermittent Windshield Wiper!"

Robert was crushed.....and he was mad. They had stolen his idea.

So... Robert hired himself a lawyer and started to pursue a lawsuit against The Ford Motor Company. The law firm he hired was really good. They filed a lawsuit and soon they got a really good response from Ford. Ford offered to settle for 250,000 dollars. Remember, this was in the early 60's. That was a lot of money back then. (I wouldn't mind someone offering me that kind of money today)....

But, Robert balked. He said it wasn't enough. His pride was at stake and he wasn't about to sell out for such a low figure. The law firm he hired was furious that he wouldn't take the deal.

So,.. Robert fired the law firm and started a long, solo battle against Ford Motors. He started studying up on law suits, spent hours pouring through law books at the library. Robert became obsessed with his invention and in wanting to get notoriety for his wonderful invention. He filed legal briefs and began the process to take Ford to court.

One day he got a surprise visitor..... a representative from one of Fords lawyers. Ford didn't want to fight anymore. The visitor told Robert that Ford wanted to give him 1,000,000 dollars to settle out of court. One MILLION dollars!.....

Robert told him to get out!....

Robert was determined that his pride was at stake and it was no longer about the money. He was insulted that Ford has stolen his idea, .... his baby.... the Blinking Eye...

So the lawsuit continued....

And years passed....

And he was so obsessed with justice that he neglected his family.

His wife divorced him.

His children grew-up without him around. They became teenagers. They became young adults.

Robert pursued the lawsuit.

Finally, after so many years of wrangling, a court-date was set...the court was ready to rule on his case.

Ford balked again. They approached Robert one last time. They offered to settle out-of-court for 30,000,000..... 30 MILLION dollars!.....

Robert told them no. He was ready to do battle in court. He was ready to get credit for his invention.

The case was heard, the evidence was presented.... and, lo and behold.... Robert won!...

Robert won..... 10,000,000 dollars...10 MILLION dollars..... 20 million than Ford had offered to settle the suit for.

But Robert was happy. He had won. He had salvaged his pride. The world would know that HE invented the Intermittent Windshield Wiper.

Did YOU know that Robert Kearns invented the Intermittent Windshield Wiper?

Nope?..... Well... me neither. Neither has 99.99999999% of the world's population. Nobody cares, really. Only Robert cared.

He cared so much that he sacrificed his life with his wife and children. Now he was rich.... and alone....

I don't know if Robert ever figured out that there is actually a moral to his story.

Sometimes "pride" can become an addiction... it can become just as obsessive as heroin, or alcohol,...or sex.... or (fill in the blank)....

Addiction is often described as an "obsession".

All of us have to be on our guard against anything that becomes such an obsession that we're willing to lose everything that really matters in order to obtains something, that in the long run, doesn't really matter that much.

Pride.

Robert died a rich man.

OR..... did he.....?

You decide....

Racism

2011-01-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

In the 1960's a Southern church deacon-board mobilized lookout squads, and on Sundays, these took turns patrolling the entrances to the church lest any black "trouble-makers" try to integrate them. The church printed some cards that they would hand out to any "blacks" who might appear at their door.
It read:
"Believing your motives to be ulterior and foreign to the teaching of God's word, we cannot extend a welcome to you and respectfully request you to leave the premises quietly. Scripture does NOT teach "the brotherhood of man and the fatherhood of God." He is the Creator of all, but only the father of those who have been regenerated.
If any of you is here with a sincere desire to know Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord, we will be glad to deal individually with you from the Word of God.".....the Pastor and Deacons...

Philip Yancey, in his wonderful book, "What's So Amazing About Grace" writes....
"I grew up a racist. Although I am not yet fifty-years old, I remember when the South practiced a perfectly legal form of apartheid. Stores in downtown Atlanta had three rest rooms: White Men, White Women, and Colored. Gas stations had two drinking fountains, one for Whites and one for Colored. Motels and restaurants served white patrons only, and when the the Civil Rights Act made such discrimination illegal, many owners shuttered their establishments.
We used to call Martin Luther King Jr. "Martin Lucifer Coon." We said that King was a card-carrying Communist, a Marxist agent who merely posed as a minister. Not until much later was I able to appreciate the moral strength of the man who, perhaps more than any other person, kept the South from outright racial war."........ Yancey, from the chapter, The Arsenal Of Grace.

Racism.
Unfortunately, it's still with us today. We've learned to practice it in perhaps less obvious, gentler ways, but it still exists in a lot of our churches, businesses, politics....
I, too, like Philip Yancey, grew up in a racially-charged atmosphere. My father was a racist and he passed down to me a lot of negative feelings towards those of a different color. It wasn't until the 9th grade that I found myself in an integrated school. The racial tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I made no black friends and didn't really "want" to make any black friends. I look back on a lot of my youth as one who was clueless about the continuing struggle of the Black Community, not just for "equality", but for simple human respect and decency.
As I have studied the Bible, I have, to my relief and joy, found that the "Deacons" from the South really didn't know much about God and His Grace, and had somehow, in all their study, completely skipped over the 17th chapter of the Book of Acts.... the "acts" of the first apostles, those who followed Jesus Christ through his life, death and resurrection.

So, the struggle continues, whether we care to recognize it or not. Fortunately, as the generations pass, the racism of the 60's lessens. My own children have found and embraced Black friends, Asian friends, Latino friends, friends with mixed marriages and their beautiful children....
I pray they don't take this for granted, for it is a sign of true "grace",... to look beyond skin color or national boundaries to embrace all of God's children. We can look to men like Martin Luther King Jr. as the pioneers that they truly were.... men and women who struggled for justice and equality, but did so by walking the God-ordained road of peace and non-violence.

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. He is not served by human hands as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives "ALL" men life and breath and everything else. For from one man he made very nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for then and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one for us. For in Him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, "We are His Offspring."......Acts 17:24-28

We honor God when we honor one another......

Prayer

2011-01-10T06:20:00.000-08:00

Prayer: talking to God...
Seems like a daunting task.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, (or any of the other 12-Step Programs), one of the things your are told to do is to have a prayer life... to begin to speak to your "Higher Power".
Folks who have never prayed before find it a struggle because they aren't aware of the nature of God and the freedom of The Spirit.
One of my favorite authors is Brennan Manning. He wrote a book called, "The Ragamuffin Gospel". It is on my list of top-ten books that I recommend for people to read. Brennan's main emphasis is on the grace of God.
In this blog I would like to tempt you (in a good way) by giving you a taste of his writing.... in this instance, on the subject of prayer...

"Let us suppose you give your three-year-old daughter a coloring book and a box of crayons for her birthday. The following day, with the proud smile only a little one can muster, she presents her first pictures for inspection. She has colored the sun black, the grass purple, and the sky green. In the lower right-hand corner she has added woozy wonders of floating slabs and hovering rings: on the left, a panoply of colorful, carefree squiggles. You marvel at her bold strokes and intuit that her psyche is railing against its own cosmic puniness in the face of a big, ugly world. Later at the office, you share with your staff your daughter's first artistic effort and you make veiled references to the early work of Van Gogh.
A little child cannot do a bad coloring: nor can a child of God do a bad prayer. A father is delighted when his little one, leaving off her toys and friends, runs to him and climbs into his arms. As he holds his little one close to him, he cares little whether the child is looking around, her attention flitting from one things to another, or just settling down to sleep. Essentially the child is choosing to be with her father, confident of the love, the care, the security that is hers in those arms.
Our prayer is much like that. We settle down in our Father's arms, in His loving hands. Our mind, our thoughts, our imagination may flit about here and there; we might even fall asleep; but essentially we are choosing for this time to remain intimately with our Father, giving ourselves to Him, receiving His love and care, letting Him enjoy us as He will. It is very simple prayer. It is very childlike prayer. It is prayer that opens us up to all the delights of the kingdom."

----Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

Sometimes I really struggle with prayer. Sometimes I'm ambivalent about praying. Sometimes I take prayer for granted.
Sometimes my best prayers have simply started by saying, "God, I don't feel like talking to You today".... or, "God, I'm in a bad mood, so if I'm going to pray about it You really have to help me."

Prayer: Think of it as a conversation. A conversation where the other party (God) already knows your struggles and your frailness and even your often inability to express exactly what you are feeling, exactly what you're trying to say.
How often in my own life have I started out a prayer by simply saying, "God,...I really messed things up this time....."
And then I just start talking.....
Perhaps, to God, It's like I'm painting a picture with my words. Like the little child in Brennan's story,... painting the sun green, the flowers are black and pink and my rendition of the ocean is at the top of the page rather than at the bottom.
It doesn't matter to Him... just as long as I'm sharing my painting with Him. Maybe He'll tack it up in His Heavenly office and show it to the angels....saying something like, "Look what my kid did!..... Isn't it great!"........
And the angels will say in return, "Yeah...it looks like a real Picasso....all kinds of crazy... but really valuable!".....:-)

Relationships and electronics

2010-12-31T15:35:00.000-08:00

There is an old story about a country that was conquered by a foreign king. The king called-in the Bishop of the local church and demanded "all the treasures of the Church" to be brought to him. The Bishop told him that it might take him a couple of days but that he would, indeed, round-up all the Church treasures and bring them to the new king.

A couple of days later the Bishop appeared in the King's Court. Right behind the Bishop was a bunch of local people.... some finely dressed, some appearing to be dressed very poorly.
The King said to the Bishop, "What have you brought me? Who are all these people? Where's the treasure I told you to bring?"
The Bishop looked up at the king and with a smile on his face said, "These, Sir....ARE the treasures of the Church! These are all people whom God has chosen to make-up HIS Kingdom!.... They are the only true treasures that the Church has."
I'm sure the Bishop was summarily executed by the new king... but, the point was well taken.

People....
People who need people...
Are the luckiest people in the world....

(O.K., How did Barbra Streisand get into my blog?)..... OUT! .... NOW!

My wife and I were at a popular restaurant yesterday evening.

There was a young couple at the table behind us. Husband, wife and small child. The child couldn't have been older than perhaps 5 or 6 years. The little boy was holding some sort of phone, playing video games. His parents were sitting across from each other, both of them on their respective cellphones, chatting away.

A snapshot of the modern American family.....

It seems electronic devices have taken over the world, ... and, most of all, taken over the conversation.
It's so funny,... how we don't t-a-l-k anymore....
(That's another song,... can't remember who it was by).....

But it's too true. We are such a technological society that we are now so absorbed with electronics that it hardly leaves room for conversation, let alone "relationships".

It's a new year.... a new beginning.... a chance to start over....

I hope that if you have children, or a spouse, or a friend,... that you won't neglect them. Keep the conversation going,... or, start conversations that have been lacking.

There is nothing more important than our relationships with other people....and God, of course.

Which reminds me...
A professional football player recently dropped a pass in a big game. He went home and "tweeted" God. Told God, "I praise You 24/7, and what do YOU do? You let me drop the ball!".... (This from a guy who will make more money playing one year of football than I will make in a lifetime). God really gave him a raw deal!....
Actually, if he's going to be mad at God, the tweet should have been, "Hey God, why did you make me one of the stupidest people on the planet?"...... tweeting God....brilliant...

I don't think God reads our "tweets",... but, I think He is involved in our conversations, and more specifically, our relationships.

This year I hope all of us will concentrate on what is really important..... our relationships. These are our true treasures.... other people.

Don't let technology, .....whether it's television, texting, tweeting, Facebooking, video games or whatever, rob you of the unique opportunity to have real, true relationships....

New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that I started writing this blog over a year ago,... actually, I believe, in November of last year. I had a couple of New Year's Resolutions. One, was to continue to write this 12-Step blog for at least one year. I wanted it to be a blog about life, love and addiction issues. Some of them have been taken from real life, some from the lives of others, favorite authors, movies, friends and family.... a lot of old memories. In a lot of ways it was a cathartic experience, remembering some childhood events and seeing how they helped to shape the person that I am today... some good, some bad, some totally indifferent...
Another resolution I had was to do something positive with my musical talent. Most of you know me as a singer/songwriter. I have produced four CD's worth of recorded music. I found myself with a lot of CD's simply cluttering up my basement shelves. In the book-publishing world they call self-publishing "vanity publishing",.. meaning, that you want to see your work in print and, since no one will actually "publish" you,... you simply publish yourself and have a bunch of books printed.
A couple of years ago I attended a funeral of a person who had "self-published" several books. They had the books stacked-up at the funeral and told folks to take a book or two with them after the funeral. I thought that was a fine idea... but, at the same time, I thought it was sort of sad. This person had accumulated a bunch of books that he had kept in boxes in his basement or closet.
Over the years I have accumulated quite a collection of "self-published" CD's. Last year, one of my resolutions was to try and do something positive with them. I thought about doing a bunch of concerts, raising some money to support a couple of local charitable causes and giving at least a portion of my CD sales away to support these efforts also.
I knocked on a lot of doors.... and, to my amazement, I had a lot of doors slammed in my face!
A lot of my music is Spiritual in nature so I guess I thought that a lot of churches would be open to support what I was doing and would be willing to host a concert. Boy, was I wrong.
I'm still amazed at how closed-off most churches are, doing their own thing, and very much opposed to having anyone outside of their borders come in and do anything different from what they consider "the norm". Perhaps it's simply an indication of how crazy the world has become and how easy it is to want to "circle the wagons". (If you like old Westerns then you know what that means)..... my apology to any Indian readers. Glad we don't do that anymore.)....Not with "wagons" anyway.....
This is not to say that the year was a total wash. I did end up playing a half-dozen such concerts and it was a very rewarding experience. All things being ideal, it should have been twenty or thirty. I still find myself at year's end with a closet full of CD's and a willingness to keep putting one foot in front of the other to try and accomplish my ultimate goal.... to die CD FREE!....(Sort of sounds weird, doesn't it?.... saying it like that)....
That's the thing about New Years Resolutions. We try,... and we do well for a few days.. or weeks,.. and then, .... we mess-up and cave-in..... Whether it's a desire to follow a particular diet and lose weight, give up smoking, drinking, drugging, cat-wrestling,.... whatever. When we fail the first time we find it hard to get up, brush ourselves off, and keep "keepin' on"...
So, despite some past disappointments I have resolved to keep on "keepin' on", committing my desires to God and letting Him have his way with my life... one day at a time. Perhaps I won't be any more successful this year than last year... but, that's o.k. The goal is to keep looking forward and to keep trying to do my best, using the time, talent and abilities that God has given me to try and make it a better world.... better for my friends, family, acquaintances... people I don't know and haven't even met yet. I pray for the grace to keep on going forward, and if I fall down, to get back up again, brush myself off and keep on walking....
Do YOU have some "New Year's Resolution(s)" you are looking forward to keeping?
I wish you success. Most of all, I hope that if you fall-down and break your resolution, I pray that you will get back up and keep moving forward. After all,.... it's just "a day".... it's not your "life"....
And, if I die before the year is out and you happen to attend my funeral,.... grab a few CD's and give them to some friends and family.... and strangers.
I won't mind....really. I think. :-)

Christmas 2010

2010-12-19T14:03:00.000-08:00

"Unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord will accomplish this." Isaiah 9:6-7

The prophet Isaiah predicted the birth of the Messiah, the One who would come and bring everlasting peace to the world.
Jesus came and fulfilled ALL of the scriptures pertaining to the Messiah, leading up to his death and resurrection. I believe there were around 70 prophecies that He fulfilled to validate His place in history and in God's plan of redemption.
So....
Where's the peace?.... The world is still very much in conflict,.... wars and rumors or wars,... corrupt governments,....genocide,..... crazy dictators in unstable countries....

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. " Luke 14"1-4

"They (Jesus' disciples) were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressing in white stood beside them. "Men of Galilee, they said, why do you stand there looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." Acts 1:10-11

I once heard a sermon where the preacher said that looking at Jesus in prophecy is like looking at a mountain range. In full view is a mountain that depicts the arrival and life of Jesus Christ on the earth,... his birth, ministry, death and resurrection. On the other side of that mountain is another mountain, shielded from view by the first. This second mountain represents all the prophecies concerning Jesus' second coming to earth to rule and reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords,... to fulfill the prophecy like the last part of Isaiah 9.
In between these two mountains is a valley,.... which represents a span of time.
This "valley" is where we find ourselves presently. These are the "days of grace", the time in which the Good News is preached to the ends of the earth. A day is approaching when Jesus Christ shall return again and put an end to all of the wars, sin and corruption we are now experiencing. Nobody knows for sure exactly when that day will come, but, as with all of the other prophecies that have been fulfilled to the letter, so will the prophecies concerning Jesus' return.
As we celebrate Christmas, the advent of His first coming, let us also consider that the story is still in process... the script is still being written, the final chapter is yet to be presented upon the world's stage. Christmas is a good time to reflect, ... to remind ourselves that the excitement and drama of Christ's first appearing will actually pale in comparison to when He returns in His resurrected glory! Great things await to be revealed.
When we see the world in the shape that it is in today, remember the words of Jesus: "Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God, ... believe in ME also."....
Jesus... the same, "Yesterday, Today... and ... Forever"... Hebrews 13:8

We hear a lot of Christmas carols this time of year. One of my favorite Christmas songs is one that doesn't get a lot of airplay on the radio. It was written by one of my favorite songwriters, Skip Ewing. The song: "It Wasn't His Child"
You can listen to it at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfjWzy12xlE

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas!

Cutting.. part 3

2010-12-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

Signs that your daughter might be cutting, or harming herself in some way...

General defiance
Not fulfilling her responsibilities
Exploding with anger
Withdrawing completely
Becoming unusually passive

It's easy for parents to jump in "full force" and confront their daughter. This can be seen as a "combative" move on the part of the young person and cause them to further raise their defenses. It is advisable to approach the subject with love and concern. The person doing the self-harm is dealing with enough shame and guilt already. They shouldn't be approached in a way that will simply add more shame and guilt to the problem. Confrontation can be a beautiful expression of love if approached in the correct manner. In the case of addicts/alcoholics, there is sometimes an "intervention", when the entire family and close friends get together with an experience counselor to confront the person with the problem. They are not there to be "accusatory" or "blaming", but to simply show the person that they love them and miss the relationship that the drug is stealing them away from. In the same way, parents should express that their concern is for the well-being of their daughter and that they aren't there to judge or condemn but to love them unconditionally.
If the parents are together (married), they should approach the problem from a unified position, both parents agreeing to how the situation should be approached. There should be "unity" on the part of the parents, neither parent blaming the other for perhaps causing the situation in the first place.
The parent(s) should remain calm and maintain that they love their daughter and only want to help her.
The intervention should only take place in a safe environment, some place where there aren't other people around who aren't part of the solution. In other words, it should be done "privately".
The parent(s) should make it an issue of prayer if they believe in God, or a "Higher Power", asking for wisdom in dealing with the situation.
The parent should be armed with reasons/observations that are leading them to bring the issue up. They should be prepared for their daughter to to deny the behavior, so they should be ready to give some examples as to why they have their suspicions.
The parent(s) should constantly remind their daughter of their unconditional love, letting their daughter know that, no matter what she is doing to herself or going through, they are not there to judge her, but simply to love her and help her in her struggles.

For parents to know:
1. Their daughter's struggle with self-harm does not mean or indicate that you are a bad parent!
I've heard over and over again, parents blaming themselves for their addict son or daughter.
No parent is the perfect parent. We all make mistakes in the area of parenting, but blaming
oneself is never a solution to the problem and, most of the time, is actually a hindrance.
2. Submit your feelings and concerns to God or your Higher Power
3. Be humble!....Approach every situation with your child from a standpoint of humility.
4. Remind yourself that you are NOT her Savior, nor are you capable of having the answer to
all problems at all times.
5. Be proactive in helping your daughter realize that God will be YOUR strength as well as HERS
throughout this entire difficult process of helping and healing.

A prayer for parents:

Lord God, I pray for my daughter. I lift her up to You and pray for You to lead and guide her. I pray for her to know she is loved and accepted by You. I thank You in advance for healing her of her pain and I pray that You would empower her with Your Spirit to overcome her desire to self-harm. I pray that she would see her value and importance on this earth, to You, to her parents, to her friends and relatives. I pray that she would live and not die, declaring the works of the Lord on her behalf.
And Lord, I surrender my daughter to You. Lead and guide me as I help my daughter. I surrender MY life to You. I choose to trust You in all of Your ways and trust that You will do a miracle in my family.....

Mercy Ministries:
Founder and President of Mercy Ministries, Nancy Alcorn began her career in corrections and social work. Realizing the inadequacy of secular programs to offer real transformation in the lives of troubled girls, she started Mercy Ministries in 1983, with residential programs now available in several states and internationally. A frequent speaker at conferences around the world, Nancy resides in Nashville, Tennessee. Visit the Mercy Ministries website at:
www.mercyministries.com

If you know of a parent who might be interested in this brief overview on the subject of Self-Harm, please direct them to read this and the last couple of blogs on the issue at:
www.12stepsandawindingroad.com

Thanks and gratitude to everyone who shows concern for the hurting and those suffering from the bondage of addiction(s), in whatever form it takes....

Cutting... Part 2

2010-12-06T05:48:00.000-08:00

This is a continuation of last weeks' blog on Cutting, .... described as "Self-Harm"...

I took my notes from a presentation at my church by Laura Rink, who worked this past summer as a counselor for teenage girls. The camp is a Christian Camp and so this subject was approached from a Christan perspective. I know that not all who read this blog may have the same belief system and may approach this and other subjects differently. I am presenting it as it was presented to me. I hope you, the reader, will take this into consideration. As I said previously, this issue of cutting is a serious psychological problem and if you know someone who is self-mutilating in any way, you should talk to a professional counselor and try to get help for them....whether it's a Christian Counselor or a secular one.

Breaking Free:
Talking about your emotions
Writing down your feelings daily (Journaling)
Drawing and Painting
Praise and Worship
Prayer
Reading the Bible
Christian Counseling

Forgiving Others:
Allowing unforgiveness to take root in your life is a stumbling block to freedom. (Note: This applies to breaking free of ALL addictive, destructive behaviors.)
Realizing that we have been forgiven by God frees us to forgive others. Refusing to forgive locks our pain inside of us.
We also need to realize that forgiveness is not an emotion, but it is a choice. It's a starting place to simply say the words, making the choice to say the words daily, even praying for that person whom we hold resentment for. The feelings will come later. Perhaps slowly, but they will come.
Also, unforgiveness keeps us bound to the control of others and their abuse.

Forgiving yourself:
I think this is a big one. Forgiving yourself. Actually, most of us don't think about this one, so we end up on an endless cycle of self-hatred, without even realizing it. It may be hard to forgive yourself for things you've done in the past. They key is: If you can honestly believe that God has the capacity to forgive you, and to even "choose" to forget what you have done in the past, how can you NOT forgive yourself? It's as if you are saying, "I know better than God what I do or don't deserve."..
This subject of forgiveness, .. for others AND yourself, is stressed in all Addiction Counseling, regardless of the addiction or struggle, and I believe it's something that all of us human beings deal with (or don't deal with) at some level in our lives.

For Parents:
In families where a high value is assigned to public reputation, girls especially, tend to feel extreme pressure to portray an image of perfection. In the role that religion plays in a persons' life this often results in the feeling that unless their life matches up to some "ideal" that they have been taught to believe, it can lead to the feeling of being a "failure". This, on turn can lead to a cycle of shame and guilt which simply compounds the problem.
It's important to realize that we aren't perfect,.. not even "close" to perfect,.. and never, in this life, will be.
The only perfect person who ever lived was Jesus Christ. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, something that a friend once told me. "Jesus didn't come into this world so that we could be like Him... He came because we " Couldn't". He came to die in our place and to give us His righteousness as a free gift.... through grace alone. No "Works" involved... no "striving for unattainable perfection"......

Parents, especially, can unknowingly have a negative impact on the emotions of a young person struggling to find their place in a world that portrays images of perfection. We are bombarded with advertisements and television programs which seem to solidify this belief of the "perfect life",... the "perfect body".
I personally believe that there is a great lack of communication between parents and their children and that many parents have abdicated their responsibility to teach and nurture correct thinking and have turned their children over to education via television, movies, music,... the mass media.
In my next blog I will address this issue of parenting further.

Hope you all have a great week!.....

Cutters

2010-11-28T12:19:00.001-08:00

This blog, 12 Steps And A Winding Road, is intended to be about "life, love, and addiction issues".

I think this subject of "Cutting" falls into this category in a big way....

My pastor's daughter, Laura Rink, did a presentation at our church regarding the issue of people who cut themselves. She was exposed to this after spending time this past summer at a camp for troubled teens.... as a counselor,... not a troubled teen. (Thought I should clear that up before I had to backtrack and undo some damage there)... :-)

God bless Laura for having a heart to be a counselor. It's a tough struggle. Most folks don't want to be "counseled".... thus, the challenge with the entire concept....

When I was getting my degree in drug and alcohol counseling, this issue of "cutting" never came up. It was never on the radar, but I think it falls right in there with all "addiction" issues and the underlying problems, along with the solutions, share much similarity.

If you have teenagers, or are around any teenagers, more than likely there is a connection to this issue of cutting. It's becoming more and more prevalent in this post-modern era.

Laura's source of information, besides the experience at the camp, is taken from a book by Nancy Alcorn, published in 2007.

If this is a problem for you or someone in your immediate family or circle of friends, I would recommend that you rush out and get a copy of the book!....

In my next couple of blogs I will try to loosely cover some of the salient aspects of this disturbing phenomenon...

"Cutting".... defined as doing "self-harm".... a deliberate, impulsive harming of the body, mostly done in secret and often hard to detect. Most cutters cut themselves in areas of their bodies that aren't likely to be exposed... to friends... parents... teachers.... the public.

Can also be symptomized by:

1. The cutting itself

2. A constant scratching as a response to psychic pressure or unexpected circumstances which cause stress. Also, picking at scabs and preventing the healing process from taking place.

3. Burning the skin on a regular basis with erasers, fire, or small heat-conducting objects.

4. Punching the body, including beating the head against walls or other inanimate objects.

5. Biting the inside of the mouth or the skin of the arms, hands or legs.

6. Pulling hair out.. including eyelashes and eyebrows.

7. Breaking bones or severely bruising the body.

What's behind this type of behavior?

Destructive emotions

Escape

Past or present abuse

Family dysfunction

Depression

Shame

Many of you might notice that these are some of the same issues that drive drug addiction and alcoholism, even sexual addiction.

Why do some people.... drink excessively..... take drugs....Involve themselves in destructive sexual behaviors...... "cut themselves"...... ?

The answer is: (drum roll please).......Because it feels good.

To most people this may seems like an incongruent answer, but it is an accurate one nonetheless.

As I stated in a previous blog... the human condition can be defined fairly simply... to "pursue" pleasure.... and to "avoid" pain.

The key in understanding addiction is to understand that there is more than just one type of pain. There's the "physical" pain we're all familiar with. Then, there is the "emotional" pain that we all go through on some level. Most of us who aren't addicts have better coping mechanisms to deal with psychic pain. Live is always painful on some front, in varying degrees of severity.

To the person who cuts themselves, the physical pain of mutilating the body is actually a release from a deeper, "psychic" pain, ... perhaps a pain that is so deep that it can't be "felt", (at least in the normal way we think about feelings),...so it has to come out in some other way other than a typical way of coping, the way life is dealt with by most people.

Just as the addict or alcoholic is using drugs and/or alcohol, the act of "cutting" actually feels better than the internal pain. Over time, this release of emotion becomes a continual thing, leading to addiction.

I've had heroin addicts tell me that part of the joy of getting "high" is actually the use of the needle. Most folks shudder at the thought of getting a shot, where the drug addict has taken the feeling of the poke of the needle on the skin and deeply associated it with the high of the drug. Addiction is indeed, cunning and baffling...

This is a pretty heavy issue. I will continue to try and convey some more information about this issue in my next blog.

In the meantime, like I said at the beginning,... IF you know someone who is experiencing this, or you are experiencing it yourself,... run, don't walk... and get a copy of the book "CUT" by Nancy Alcorn. You will need this information to move forward in getting help for yourself, a friend, or a loved-one.....

Thanks Laura, for bringing this issue to my attention and allowing me to make use of some of your material to convey this message to my readers...

You can find websites for the book by doing a search on Google and putting in the words "CUT' and "Nancy Alcorn"

The Confession Booth Part 2

2010-11-17T07:39:00.000-08:00

"I like your Christ. I don't not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

The statement above has been attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.

I don't know for sure whether he said it or not... but I'm sure it's been said somewhere, at some time, or at least the sentiment expressed by more than just a handful of people.

Last week I talked about my experience at one of the performing rights organizations. If you aren't familiar with it you should leap back a week and read it.

It's too easy for me to judge someone based on one single, isolated experience. Everyone has their bad days. It seems some folks, myself included have their share of bad days, .. even bad weeks.
There is an old bumper sticker that says, "I'm not perfect,... just forgiven".

Personally, I never liked that sentiment, for I think it is a backhanded way of making an excuse for the way we live and act and treat other people. I know that when I am offended by someone, having them tell me, "Hey, I'm not perfect.... I'm just forgiven"... just makes me want to slap them around.
"I'm so happy that GOD has forgiven you!.... Now, maybe He'll forgive me for the way I'm about to dance on the top of your head!".....

I picked up a copy of a book written by Donald Miller. The book is called, "Blue Like Jazz". I bought it because I really liked the title. My brother was a great Jazz musician and played the saxophone. He was amazing.
Anyway, the forward to the book reads:

"I never liked Jazz music because Jazz music doesn't "resolve". But I was outside the Baghdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that, I liked Jazz.
Sometimes you have to watch someone love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't "resolve." But that was before any of this happened.".....

Donald Miller was a Christian who decided that, instead of taking the familiar Bible College route to education, he was going to attend one of the most secular universities in the U.S.
Each year at this college they shut down the campus for a weekend so that the students can party... get drunk, get stoned, get naked... whatever. (Now, some of you are saying, "Where IS this college... I want to go there!")....

Anyway,... while Don was at this college he was part of a small group of Christians who were trying to be a good witness for Jesus Christ.
So... on this particular weekend, when everything was so crazy, and the folks were partying hard,... the Christians set up a "Confession Booth." They built this little wooden booth with a partition in it so folks could "confess" and get right with God.

Nope. Not really....

You see, the Christians sort of "turned the table" on the whole concept of "confession".

When one of the students could stumble into the booth, they would sit in a chair and say something like, "O.K. What do you want me to confess?"....
Then, the "Christian student would say, "No I don't want YOU to confess. I want you to hear MY confession."
"Really?... That's really weird. But, O.K..... go ahead,... I'm listening."

Then the Christian student would "confess" .....that they hadn't really always been a good witness for Christ,... that often they would be totally self-centered, selfish, inconsiderate of other people's feelings.
"I'm really sorry that I've dragged the name of Jesus through the mud by my actions, comments, negativity, self-righteous attitude.....
Would you be willing to forgive me for that?. I don't want anything in return... just that you would forgive me for the times I've been so UN-Christ-like."...

Most of the time the secular student would say something like.... "Well, yea, I guess so. I mean, we ALL act stupid sometimes, say things that we should, that we wish we wouldn't have, have done things we wish we could take back..... So.... yes, I forgive you."

Then, they might stumble back out of the Confession Booth and go on back and party-on....

But, it might make them think.
It made ME think.....

I don't know about the lady at the performing rights organization. I can't judge her. That's between her and her God.
All I know is that there have been days in my life, as a Christian, I would make her look like a saint by my words, my negativity, by my actions.
For all the times I've dragged the good name of Jesus through the mud of my own life... I'm sorry.

I hope you'll forgive me....

A friend of mine once said, "Jesus didn't come into our lives so we could be like Him. He came because He knew we couldn't."....

I like that. Because it's so.... true.

The Confession Booth (part 1)

2010-11-13T12:15:00.000-08:00

"Why did I make an appointment with you?"......

She said, again, ....for about the third time in the last 15 minutes.

Me: "I don't know. Maybe because you're a moron and you should never have been given this position in the first place?"....

O.K. I didn't actually SAY that.... but I THOUGHT it... and would have liked to have been able to say it....

So goes my experience with one of the leading performing rights societies. There are three of them... B.M.I. (Broadcast Music Inc.),... ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Artists and Publishers).. and SESAC ( Society of European Singers, Actors, and Composers)....

If you are a songwriter you are often told to make an appointment to see someone at one of the performing rights societies and have them listen to some of your songs. If they like what they hear, then they will refer you to a reputable publisher.... and, hopefully, you can move on up the proverbial "ladder" to the next step in your career.

I had made my appointment weeks earlier with this particular one and had made the 12-hour drive to Nashville to keep the appointment and get some of my songs listened to and evaluated.
The woman who met me in the lobby had made this statement upon my arrival. "Who are you, and why did I make an appointment to see you today?".....

This didn't bode well for our meeting. Nope, not a good sign.

I explained that I had indeed scheduled this appointment for "today" and would she please listen to some of my songs?......
Begrudgingly she had me follow her to a small office. She said, "I don't have much time... what have you got?"
I pulled out several songs and she stuck the first one into the CD player..... listened to about the first 20 seconds, stopped it, gave it back to me.... "What else?".... I gave her another song... Same response...
This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes. I could tell she didn't really want to listen to the songs. I could tell she was perturbed by my taking up her precious, valuable time.

Finally, she simply said, .. "I don't know why I made this appointment for today. I'm really busy right now getting ready for the Christian Music Awards.

In case you didn't catch that the first time: .... The CHRISTIAN Music Awards.!!!

Wow. She was busy working on the CHRISTIAN Music Awards..... and that was the reason she was being a real .... a real... well, you know.... a real....(It rhymes with "witch"...).....

She threw me totally off-guard with this remark. Actually, I didn't know what to say,.. or think, or do,....right at the moment...

So I simply said, "Well, thanks for your time.... maybe I can come back at a later date and, .. perhaps,... you could listen to some of my songs then."

"Fine, she said. I gotta go."...

I felt like she had done everything short of having Security throw me out the door. I should have been glad she didn't have a Pit-Bull handy to take a few bites out of a leg... or worse.

I packed up my little bag of songs and shuffled off towards the main entrance, feeling totally like an idiot... feeling totally dejected, rejected, ... discombobulated.... (fill in your own words)...
It was a looooong 12-hour drive back home..... and about $500 poorer for my time, gas, food, hotel stay....etc.

I never went back. At least I never want back to THAT performing rights organization. (I'm sure they're feeling really bad about it).. (sarcasm)....

That was years ago, and since then I have found a terrific publisher on my own,.... thank you very much...
But, the experience stayed with me.
Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned here. Maybe God was trying to tell me something... and it was up to me to listen and learn....
I'm still trying....

And, in the meantime, I happened upon something that sort of put it in perspective for me...

(to be continued).....

Real Men Don't Cry?

2010-11-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

Keep having this dream about my old man
I'm ten years old and he's holding my hand
We're talking on the front porch watching the sun go down
But it was just a dream, he was a slave to his job and he couldn't be around
There's so many things I'd like to say to him
But I just place a rose on his grave and I talk to the wind

I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry

I'm sitting here with my wife and kids
And everything I hold dear in my life
We say grace and thank the Lord
Got so much to be thankful for
Then it's up the stairs and off to bed and my little girl says
"I haven't had my story yet"

And everything weighing on my mind disappears just like that
When she lifts her head off her pillow and says
"I love you dad"...

And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry

(From the song: "Grown Men Don't Cry" by Tim McGraw)

Tim McGraw is the epitome of one of the "Good Old Boys"
Songs about rugged Country Life, being the ultimate "Cowboy"...

One of the first songs of his career was called, "Don't Take The Girl"
The first time I heard it I had to pull the car over because... well,,, because... it's hard to drive and cry at the same time.... An extremely moving song...

Recently there have been some folks on T.V. talking about men who cry. Right now John Boehner is all over the news because he sort of had a "perclempt" moment while talking about his political career.
Glenn Beck gets hammered a lot because he has a tendency to get teary-eyed when he talks about America, America's Founders, ..... his family.... God.....

I know I'm a very emotional guy. My wife says it makes me a good songwriter. I don't know about that, I just know that things effect me deeply and my emotions usually present themselves with salty tears. I try to hide it the best I can.
"I just got something in my eye"..... "darn Kansas sand storms!"....

I also realize that tears can be deceptive. I think about when Jimmy Swaggert was on t.v., crying big-time over his dalliances with prostitutes. Was he sorry?....Or sorry that he got caught?... Sorry that he betrayed the trust of his friends and family and church, or sorry that his multi-million-dollar "ministry" just took a huge financial hit?..... I don't know...
I do know that he was unwilling to follow good counsel and step down "for a season" to get help with the issues in his life. To me, that means that his tears were pretty much a sham. That's just my opinion, ......based on some good evidence. I saw him on t.v. recently... they didn't "pan" the audience.... for good reason.... there weren't many of them to pan... (You can have tears without real repentance..... and you can have real repentance without tears).

Tears. Do "Real Men" cry?

There are some "evolutionary scientists" who say that it's a sign of being on "top of the evolutionary chain"....that humans are the only "animals" with the ability to cry.
I don't know if that's true or not. Since I don't believe in evolution anyway, it's probably a moot point. I think my cat cried the other day when I accidentally stepped on his tail. They might have been tears of anger since I have a habit of doing that quite often. I do know that cats can cuss. Where that puts them on the "evolutionary chain"... God only knows....

Anyway, for all those who like to engage in arguments over whether it's manly or "sissified" for a guy to shed tears once in awhile..... I have only two words to say.........

It's the shortest verse in the Bible... but it speaks volumes...

John 11: 35

Jesus Wept.

I Am What Is Wrong With The World

2010-10-31T18:14:00.001-07:00

There's a story I read about the trial of a Nazi prison guard following the Jewish emancipation from the horrendous prison camps during World War 2.

An elderly Jewish man attended the trial. When a former prison guard was led into the courtroom, the former war prisoner broke down. He wept uncontrollably and was ushered from the courtroom.

His friends and family were trying to comfort him. "I know you must be terribly upset to see this Nazi SS Officer, after you suffered so much mistreatment at his hands."

The old man looked up at them and said, "No, that's not the reason I'm crying. The reason is, because, when I saw this man, dressed in regular civilian clothes, I realized, for the first time, that he was just an ordinary man... like me. He was.... just like me. I could have been that man!.... and it terrified me to think of myself as a monster, the way I had always previously envisioned... him."

G.K. Chesterton was a Christian writer in England in the early twentieth century. One day the local newspaper ran an article decrying the state of the world. (This was almost 100 years ago). The article sighted some of the world's problems and asked it's readers to answer this one question: What Is Wrong With The World?

Mr. Chesterton wrote back his short answer.

Dear Sirs: I am

Sincerely,

G.K. Chesterton

G.K. Chesterton's simple answer to this age-old question inspired me to write the song, "I Am What Is Wrong With The World".... and I included it on an album I recorded, "Every Road Leads Me Home", in 2006.

I've had people tell me that they love the song. I've had people tell me that they hate the song, ... and I've had many who said they didn't understand the song and it's message.

The Bible says that we have "all" sinned, and fall short of the glory of God. I must include myself in this "all"...

Given the right (or wrong) circumstances in life, what are we indeed capable of?

Are we the oppressed or the oppressor? Or both at the same time?

Anyway, this week I offer up the controversial song for your consideration. Agree or disagree, I think it's something to consider...

You can click on this link to hear it and read the lyrics.....

http://songramp.com/Flyingsheep

I would love to hear your opinions... good, bad or indifferent.

Jesus, Take The Wheel

2010-10-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel...

From the song, "Jesus Take The Wheel" by Carrie Underwood

I had an acquaintance ask me recently, "Does Jesus run your life?"

Pretty direct question, but I like those types of questions,... the brutally, let's cut to the chase,... honest ones....

"Yes, well.... I would have to say He does. I mean, I try to turn everything over to Him every day and pray for the sense to pay attention to what's going on around me,... you know, just in case He's trying to steer me in a particular direction."

Then this fellow says to me: "Well, that's the way I use to feel, ... but now... I'm thinking about taking the wheel back. I think I could do a lot better job of running my life than He is. If Jesus is driving then He's doing a poor job of it."

Interesting..... But, in all candor, I think this is the way most of us might "feel" at some given point in our lives. After we've let Jesus take the wheel.. (Or, as they say in recovery, our "Higher Power"... take the wheel...)...

In our Western culture I think most of the time we have this view of Jesus, "Taking the wheel"...

We will "let' Him take the wheel, perhaps even "beg" Him to take the wheel (because the car is headed for a cliff). Then, what we expect is this:

Jesus drives us to the beach. It's a beautiful, sunny day, the ocean waves roll soothingly back and forth. Then, He sets up the beach umbrella, lays out a nice "blankey" on the smooth, white sand..... and says something like, "I'm going over the the Tiki Hut. Can I bring you back a nice, cool drink, maybe one of those ones with the little umbrella in it,... on the rocks?.... Anything else?... Lobster roll?... Something from the souvenir stand? Just let me know."

That's the impression we get from a lot of t.v. preachers. You know the ones. I like to refer to them as the "Amway" gospel preachers. "You too can be a Diamond Direct!"... Just send me money and people below you (whoever "they" are) will send YOU money, and the people below them will send THEM money!"
What a racket....not that I would mention any names... Joel, Creflo, Benny, Kenneth/Gloria....

But I digress...(or do I)?

I have, over the years, gotten a bit different picture of "Jesus, Take The Wheel"...

My scenario goes something like:

"Uh,... Jesus.. I know I said "take the wheel", and don't think I don't appreciate all You're trying to do.... but, did You realize where we are?!!!!.... I mean, ... take a look around. We're in the BAD part of town for God's sake!... Oh sorry, didn't mean to say that.... I mean, "WE'RE IN THE BAD PART OF TOWN... for (Pete's) sake!"....

And Jesus says:... "No, you were right the first time. We ARE in the bad part of town... for "God's" sake. There's people here I want you to meet. Where did you "think" we were heading.... to the beach?".....

Then He sort of chuckles.

"Well, yes, the beach does sound nice."
I pound on the dash.
"I think our GPS must be broken".

Jesus: You mean the "God Positioning System?"....

God Positioning System?........ What?

I suddenly realize (or, more accurately, over time... realize) that when God takes the wheel He has a tendency to travel in areas I don't necessarily want to go, goes to places I don't want to see, hangs out with people I don't want to meet, gets me into circumstances that I try, on my own, to avoid. (I should have know this was going to happen just from reading the Gospels. Jesus always seemed to hang out with the "wrong crowd"...)

Anyway, this "take the wheel" question was posed in a great book I just read called, "Flirting With Faith" by Joan Ball. Joan, an avowed atheist, finds herself on a remarkable journey of faith and gives Jesus the wheel. It looks like it's going to be a great ride....for awhile. Then, some things start to unravel. There's an unexpected illness,... a death in the family... an unwanted career change...money problems. Jesus is taking her places she doesn't really want to go.... and she asks the question: "Is it time to take the wheel back?".....

Then, she answers her own question, .. with a question. "Where would I be today if I hadn't turned everything over to HIM?"....

What kind of person would I be today?

Would I be a kinder person? More sensitive? A gentler person? A more compassionate person? A more loving individual? Most importantly, would I have this supernatural inner peace that, no matter what happens, everything's going to be O.K.? Would I be able to have an eternal perspective on life?

Or would I have continued to keep driving... straight off the cliff?

It's a good question....an honest question. I don't think God minds us asking it. Should I give HIM the wheel? Should I "trust" HIM? CAN I trust HIM?....

Is where He taking me to a good place... for God's sake....? For MY sake?...

Only you can answer that question.......

As for me... when it comes to "steering" my own course... I've always been a terrible driver....

Just food for thought as we travel down this road of life....

Have a great week....

And remember....no texting and driving...

5 Stages of Grieving

2010-10-17T16:44:00.000-07:00

Grieving...

This is a subject that I don't like writing about....don't necessarily "want" to write about; But, it's been a rough year. We've seen our share of losses this year.... deaths, near-deaths, losses...jobs, health, marriages....
Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote a book in 1969, "On Death and Dying". It was the first time someone attempted to put into words the emotions that one goes through in the grieving process.
She basically categorized five stages:

1. Denial
2.Anger
3.Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

All of these stages don't necessarily follow in a direct order. They can vary with the individual and the emotions can shift back and forth from one to the other over an extended period of time. This should just be thought of as an "overview" of the subject.

Most people think of grieving only when a loved-one dies, and I believe this has to be the hardest of all losses to cope with. But, everyone does grieve to a certain extent over any loss. It could be the loss of a job, the loss of a pet, the loss of health (one that does or doesn't result in death), the loss of a marriage....etc.
For the addict, there is grieving over the loss of a particular addiction, that "something" in their life that gave them the ability to avoid "pain". That is how we humans basically function.... our goal is: "Avoid pain".... "Pursue pleasure". Really, this is what it mainly comes down to, how we try to live our lives.

Denial: "This can't be happening to ME".... "I'm not really facing this issue." There is a saying in Addiction Counseling that "Denial.... is not a river in Egypt". For the addict, this is the first hurdle. Overcoming denial. It often involves family intervention, or, hitting rock-bottom, where the evidence is so overwhelming that denial is no longer an option.

Anger: Seems that this is most of the time directed at "God". After all, isn't HE supposed to intervene and keep these things from happening?... It's a question that has come to the forefront every time there is a tragedy. (I don't have an answer for you... neither did JOB... (you can read his struggle in the Bible in the book of the same title).

Bargaining: This usually involves God also. "O.K. God, if you will get me out of this, then I will do something special for YOU!".... Let's cut a deal.

Depression: The realization that the loss isn't going to be recovered. The marriage isn't going to be fixed, the person isn't going to come back to life (for now), the "self-medication" of the addicted isn't going to be available anymore and now we have to face life on life's terms.

Acceptance: The place where we seek comfort. Accepting the loss but not letting the loss keep us from moving on in our life, keeping us from continuing to see our lives as a series of "turning points" where we can learn and grow from our experiences, whether we view them at this particular time as good or bad.

Grief counseling is a relatively new phenomenon. Just as in A.A. or N.A. or S.A. (for sexual addiction), there is comfort in being with those who can relate to your particular loss on a deeply emotional and spiritual level.
There is too much to cover about this subject in a simple blog. There is a lot of information on the internet and I encourage you to check it out if you are going through a time of loss in your life.
The most important thing in any loss is: Don't try and face it alone. Seek support from friends and family and, if necessary, outside counseling. You might think it's the end of the world,... but, it isn't. There's good help to be found and there are a lot of compassionate people available to walk you through the process.
I know this is a heavy issue. I wish none of us had to deal with it. Just remember, for now or for future reference,.... none of us have to deal with it alone... This should be one of our greatest comforts.

Living Vicariously

2010-10-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

Vicarious: Experiencing something through another person by imagining rather than first-hand.

I remember when my two sons were young boys, playing baseball. My wife and I and the kids grandparents would go to their games to cheer them on.... win or lose.

I was always struck by the intensity of some of the other parents. They would get sooooooo upset when their kids struck out at bat or missed catching a fly ball, or simply didn't play well.

Back then I couldn't understand why they were so upset. Now, I think I know....

Some parents, (and I believe they are in the minority), seem to want to live out their dreams through their children. Haven't you ever seen a dad who was determined to see "his son" become the next Roger Clemens.... or Joe Montana? It doesn't even have to be sports. The guy (or gal) who had his/her dream of being the next "big thing" dashed to pieces by this tidal wave we call "real life". Now, with their dreams quickly fading into the sunset, their only grasp of hope is in the success of their offspring. It's a sad thing to observe.... for the kids... and, the parents.

I think that is one of the things that is so amazing about "Team Hoyt". (I hope you watched the video from last week)....

Rick, the son of Dick and Judy Hoyt, was diagnosed as a baby as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. They were encouraged to have him "institutionalized". Instead, they worked with him, taking him swimming and sledding and even taught him the alphabet and some basic words. Eventually, through the use of new technology, Rick was able to "communicate" to his parents. He told them he would like to participate in a 5-mile benefit run for a Lacrosse player who had been paralyzed in an accident. Dick, his father, agreed to push Rick in his wheelchair. They finished all 5 miles.... coming in next to last. When the race was over, that night, Rick told his father, "Dad, when I'm running, it feels like I'm not handicapped".

So began an amazing journey for father and son. Since 1977 they have participated in over 1,000 races (no this is not a miss-print)...... over a THOUSAND races, ....including marathons, dual-athlons and tri-athlons. Dick and Rick biked and ran across the United States in 1992, completing a full 3,735 miles in 45 days.

Yes, Rick is living, in a real sense, "vicariously" through his father. The father has set aside "his" dreams so that his son can.... live. It's just the opposite of what we see played out so much of the time in this self-centered world... and that is... amazing...

I received some really good feedback from some folks that watched the video. Every person said it brought then to tears. It is truly one of the most inspiring stories I think we will get the opportunity to see.

The most striking observation came from a couple of my readers. They said it was The Gospel, that it was a metaphor for what Christ has done for us. He sacrificed Himself so that we, (the ones crippled with sin and guilt and shame), could have life. When we surrender to Him, He picks us up in all our broken-ness and carries us all the way through this race we call life.... carries us lovingly... all the way, through to the finish line,.....HOME...

Here is a link to see and read more of their story:

http://www.teamhoyt.com/about/index.html

Inspiration.... part two

2010-10-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the myriad folks who wrote to comment on last weeks blog about inspiration
.... (O.K., maybe not "myriad"... but to the two or three who did..... thanks!....

One wrote: "Had to stop and think about what inspires me. Different things inspire me in different ways. For example, uplifting music inspires me to get up and get moving. Sad music inspires me to cry. Reading scripture inspires me to believe and to act on that belief. Most t.v. shows inspire me to be disgusted and to turn them off. Your blog inspires me to think about people and life."....

Another person challenged what I had said about the dictionary definition: "Inhaling, taking a breath, the act of breathing." I had said that I didn't understand that definition.
Here's his take on it....

When a person dies it is said that they "expire".... the opposite of "inspire", in that God "breathed" into the first man, Adam, the "breath of life". God "inspired" Adam to life through this divine act. Adam, "breathed-in" and became a living soul. When Adam "expired" he breathed "out" his last breath.... he died, at least in the physical sense. When all of us die, it is said that we "expire". We have an "expiration" date, sort of like a gallon of milk, except that you can still drink the milk "after" the expiration date (maybe)... When we "humans" expire.... well, no more milk....period. (Did I just explain this great or what?)...:-)

I think this is what is meant by the dictionary definition. I only wish the dictionary had gone into a more adequate explanation.... define itself, so to speak.

Anyway, thanks for the comments.

My last comment was interesting. The writer said that if I wanted "inspiration", that I should go to this website and watch this video.. So I did. It was a video I had seen before, several times actually, and every time I watched it, it brought me to tears. (I'm sort an emotional person anyway). I even cry at movies. My wife always looks at me funny and says something like, "Are you O.K.?" She usually never cries at movies... but you know, when Old Yeller dies at the end, you just gotta let it out. :-) Heck, I even cry watching the Food Network. I think I need help, actually. But that's for another blog....

I think this video is one of the most outstanding things I perhaps have ever seen. I would like for you to watch it, perhaps comment on it. How did it make you feel? And, .. WHY do you think it made you feel the way it did? I would love to hear you comments on it and I will try to put them on the next blog. I feel the video deserves a blog all to itself... so, next week I am going to write about it at some length. So... go, .. watch... cry, ... don't cry... be inspired,... don't be inspired,... whatever. And, I will see you "myriad" folks back here next week.

click on this line or cut and paste this into your browser:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY

P.S. for you "younger" readers, Old Yeller was a dog. (And you thought it was just some old guy who stood on his front porch and yelled at people as they walked by)......

Inspiration....?

2010-09-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

It was a busy weekend. I ended up playing two concerts, two church services and an afternoon at a high-rise full of "seasoned" citizens. So, I sat down late Sunday night and stared at the computer screen.... and continued to stare at the computer screen. Finally, I told myself, "I got nothing here." No "inspiration" to write a blog. My mind was a blank slate and my "muse" had either gone into hiding or had taken a long leap off a short pier....(Does that even make sense?)...

So,.. I turned off the computer and went to bed. Live to fight/write another day.... I guess.
I've been thinking about "inspiration". What does that mean, anyway?

The dictionary definition is:
1. Arousal of the mind to unusual activity or creativity.
2. A product of creative thinking or work
3. A sudden "intuition"... as in solving a problem
4. Divine guidance, the special influence of Divinity on the human mind.
5. Arousing to a particular emotion or action
6. Inhalation, the act of breathing in of air

O.K. I think I get most of these definitions.... except perhaps for number 6,... the whole "inhalation" and "breathing in of air"....(yes, that's actually in the dictionary).

Yes, today I suddenly feel "inspired" to take a breath! In fact, I make splurge and take several "breathes"..... Or, I may be "inspired" to simply NOT breathe. I think that's called....dying?

Anyway.... I digress...

As a songwriter I do get inspired to write new songs. I write mostly from "inspiration" rather than from "perspiration", which simply means that instead of writing 60 songs a year, I might write...maybe... "6".....
But, I can't explain the phenomenon.

"Why" do I care to even write one song? Or why is an artist inspired to paint a painting or a photographer inspired to take that special picture.... or a builder inspired to erect that particular structure?
What inspired God to create an entire universe and fill it with objects of his imagination and His likeness?....

This summer I got "inspired" for the first time to actually care about my lawn. I was doing my usual mowing and suddenly, for the first time, noticed that I was mostly mowing down "weeds" instead of "grass". An epiphany!.... (yes, I am a s..l..o..w.. learner).
So, this season I have been spreading weed-killer on my lawn and purchased grass seed and spread it around and now.... I'm buying "winterizer".... for the first time. I didn't even know there was such a thing as "winterizer"...for lawns.... (good grief, where have I been all these years?)

Sometimes inspiration just comes out of the blue... and it's a surprise (like the lawn thing)....
But, I think, most of the time though, I'm mostly inspired by other people. I see someone doing something extraordinary, and, ...perhaps I'm just a tad jealous,... but I want to do something "extra-ordinary" myself.
My friend, Dennis, rode in a weekend bike marathon to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis treatment and research. I think that's one of the most admirable things I've seen from one of my friends in quite some time. Cudos to you, D! (And, by the way... WHY did you do it? What "inspired" you?....

Which... leads me to ask this question of all my readers.....(However many of you there are... God only knows...)... "What inspires YOU?"....
I would like to hear from you... get some feedback.. sort of open it up for discussion.

What inspires you to do what you do?.... Ride in a marathon. Take a picture. Write a song. Involve yourself in a particular activity. What makes YOU tick?

Write me and let me know. I will share it with the folks ....and keep you anonymous (if you prefer).
At least it will give me some fodder for a future "blog"..... Until my "muse" returns from wherever the heck it went.

Why do I keep writing these blog things anyway?...
(If you read my very first one, then you'll know).....

Anyway, have a great week. Hope it's an "inspirational" one....

Contentment

2010-09-20T04:31:00.000-07:00

Contentment: defined as.... "The state of being content. Satisfied. Ease of mind".

Boy, that sure tells me a lot. Glad I looked THAT up!.....:-)

I happened to catch part of a program on the telly (that's British for "television")... over the weekend. It was about a bazillionaire who lived most of his life on a specially-made yacht. It was like a floating city. His wife was being interviewed and she took the camera crew on tour of the whole place. Her and her husband's living quarters were over 3500 square feet. (It was their "personal space" on the yacht. They could entertain myriad guests who had their own bed/bathrooms, kitchens, living rooms, whatever....
The filming crew went up on top of the ship and had a brief interview with the husband. He was showing them how he had built his own "golf course" on the yacht. It was a part of the deck that would come up mechanically from somewhere below. It was a putting green. He could stand out there on the "green" and hit golf balls out into the ocean. They had hired-hands who had little speed boats that would go out and place markers in the water so he could see how far he had hit the ball. They (the "servants", would place the markers out in the ocean and cheer him on when he hit the ball close to the markers. If he played a golf game with someone, whoever hit closest to the markers would win each "hole". He looked into the camera and said, "Whenever I have a guest on-board and we play "golf", I always win.... because (they) know who writes the checks!"
That statement reminded me of an episode of The Twilight Zone where this guy on the show dies. He loves to play pool and he ends up in an amazing pool-room, playing the game he lived for. He thought he had died and gone to heaven. The problem was....he never lost a game.... never. No matter how poorly he played. He finally exclaimed, "If this is how it's going to be for eternity I wish I "hadn't died and gone to heaven!".... The other guys in the room just looked at him and said, "What makes you think this is Heaven?.....

King Solomon was the richest man who ever lived. He wrote a book which is included in the Bible. It is the book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon writes: "I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet, when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 2:10)....

Often it is easy to watch a show like the one I watched over the weekend and be envious of someone who has so much..... who "apparently" has so much. Is this guy really happy with all his wealth, all his opulence... his mornings of fresh-squeezed orange juice and Eggs Benedict delivered to his quarters by servants every morning?...
Maybe so. I don't know. It's too easy for me to judge him and his wife and their imported granite table-tops and polished mahogany interiors.
Is this happiness? Is this the picture of contentment? Is this what we should all be striving for?..... more and better "stuff"?....
Solomon himself came to this conclusion later on in his life. "So I hated life,... I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool?".... (Ecc. 2:17)
I compare this to what the Apostle Paul wrote about his own life when he was writing to the his friends in the city of Philipi. "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."... ) Phillippians 4:11.

Contentment is a state of mind. For the addict, contentment is (or should be), waking up every morning in peace, being able to "not" spend his/her day chasing the "high" of addiction. To live a life of internal peace. That is the purpose of the 12-Step Program. To ultimately bring us to a place of finding peace with our Higher Power, our Creator,... the One who knows exactly what we need in life, for He is the One who created us, who knows our very thoughts, our very longings. For the rich man, like Solomon, his "addiction" is chasing after the seemingly perfect life of "things", more things, finer things, and "accomplishments", ....climbing the "ladder of succes". It seems all well and fine, except when a person actually gets to the top of the ladder, all that's found there is "empty space".... a standing in mid-air with nowhere else to go...but back down.

All of us, at some point, need to evaluate our own lives. What are we seeking? What are we "after"? What do we need to make us "content"?
Personally I think it's all about trying to fill a "God-Shaped" hole in our souls that we are born with. That's the conclusion the Apostle Paul came to, and he had found that contentment. Though he wasn't a rich man materially, Paul had something in his life that money couldn't buy, ... a personal relationship with God, Who abundantly supplied every need.
Is this the secret of real life? No one else can answer that question for you, but it might be a wise thing to actually take time-out to ask the question.
Like the man on The Twilight Zone episode, perhaps the real definition of "hell" is actually getting everything we (think) we want......?

In My Humble Opinion

2010-09-12T13:41:00.000-07:00

IMHO.... the new abbreviation for: In My Humble Opinion....

Once in awhile my friend, Dennis ,plays guitar with me when I do a concert. He's a great guitar player and a great person to banter with onstage. One night when we were playing a gig together the subject of humility was somehow inserted into the conversation,.. so we just sort of went with the flow...and it went something like this...

D: It's hard to be humble when you're as good as I am.
Me: I'm just as good as you are, it's just that I am too humble to speak of it.
D: I'm the most humble person I know
Me: I'm sure you're not as humble as I am because I never talk about how humble I really am.
D: I've done so many things I could talk about, but I won't, because I'm too humble to tell you about them.
Me: I think I was "born" humble.... I've never had a problem with NOT being humble.
D: Perhaps you're right, ...maybe you are the second most humble person on the planet.
Me: The "second" most humble?
D: Yea, well we all know who the "most" humble person is.. but I can't talk about it,... it wouldn't be proper..
Me: It's a great gift, this "humility" thing we possess...

And so we went,...yada, yada, yada....
And I thought it was a brilliant strategy, using "irony" to make a point about humility.
The only problem was that everyone in the audience just stared at us. I think they took us seriously and just thought we were idiots. So much for irony....

Being humble is one of those slippery propositions... As soon as you think you have it, it disappears like a ghost into thin air.
I don't think a lot of folks even think about it, really. Our world is prone to promote self-promotion and success and achievement over "humility". It's something that's always been greatly lacking in the human condition.
I recently read an article that made several statements as to whether a person was truly humble or not. Here are a few of the more salient points...

1. Am I unwilling to listen to advice, instruction, correction, information or suggestions?
2. Am I reluctant to submit to any authority or someone else's set of rules?
3. Do I argue and quarrel to try and prove that I am always right?
4. Do I dominate conversations, saying my opinion about every subject on every occasion?
5. Do I respond to others often with mockery but am unable to laugh at myself?
6. Am I eager to promote myself and my accomplishments?
7. Do I enjoy the admiration of others, secretly reveling in it?
8. Do I get agitated at the small indignities of life, such as: standing in line, waiting my turn, driving and older, used car, or performing menial (to me) tasks?
9. Am I over-concerned with outward appearances?
10. Am I reluctant to associate with people who I deem undesirable; People who I don't feel will advance my status or enhance my image?

I'm sure all of us can squeeze ourselves into any of the above at some given point in life....

What's the answer?..... If we care to pursue one....

"When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, "Give this man your seat." Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, "Friend, move up to a better place." Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

This is one of the stories that Jesus told His followers in the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 14.
I think it's good advice. It doesn't have to be a wedding feast. It can be anywhere....a parking lot, a movie theatre, a supermarket, the workplace. The most important place is in the heart.
First Peter 5:5 states: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
I know I need a lot of grace in my life and, if I were a betting man, I would bet, deep down, that you feel the same way.

Anyway, this is my blog of the week. I think it's the greatest blog I've ever written. As a matter of fact I think it may be the best thing anyone, anywhere has ever written! It should be etched in stone and made a monument of! It's brilliant! Incredibly insightful! Superb literary prose!........IMHO......

All You Need Is Love

2010-08-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite Saturday Night Live skits was Eddie Murphy's "Buckwheat" character advertising an entire record album of classic songs. For those of you in the younger set, "Buckwheat" was the little Black (Politically correct: African American) boy (can I even use the word "boy"?)..... the little Black, African-American "child" who didn't speak very well in the old "Our Gang" television series. (This was when t.v. was in black and white....and the broadcast day ended at midnight... with the playing of the National Anthem)....

Anyway,... I particularly liked his version of Tina Turner's hit: What's Love Got To Do With It.... except Eddie sang it as, "What's Nub Got To Do Wit It"..... as well as his revisit of the Country Music classic, "Lookin' Pa Nub In All The Wrong Places"......

So,... now you all know my warped sense of humor...

Love.....

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy...
All You need is love...

The Beatles sang, "All You Need Is Love" ... one of my favorite Fab 4 songs...
(Although a bit obtuse unless you happen to still be using LSD on a regular basis)...

Steven Stills sang, "Love The One You're With".... (that could turn out to be an interesting venture, depending on who you're with and what you're doing at any given moment)....

C.S. Lewis ventured into the literary definitions of love and came up with four types...

Familial: the love of family.... son, daughter, mother, father, sister and brothers

Phileo: "Brotherly love" in the sense of the human family, how the city of "Philadelphia" got it's name: The City Of Brotherly Love (I wonder just how true that is today?)....

Eros: Sexual love. The root of "erotic". The one love that this world seems most likely to distort and twist away from it's original intent. Hence, the lure and spread of pornographic images...

Agape: This is the love that is attributed to God.... Agape Love...a love that transcends emotions, love for love's sake....(God IS love)....First John 4:8

This is the ultimate biblical definition of love: "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (First John 4, verse 10)...

The Apostle Paul made a special point of love in his letter to the first century Corinthian Church. There are a few vitally important things to consider in this life to be able to live a life of purpose and meaning. Faith, Hope and Love are the spiritual lifeblood that flows through the human heart. Faith is an extension into the unseen, whereby we may develop a trust in a Higher Power Whom we cannot see. This in turn, leads us to be able to "hope" for better things than this world has to offer, a better "future" than the tangible is able to give to us. And love.. love is the glue that holds everything together. As fallible (read,... sinful) human beings, we fall so incredibly short of the type of love we had at the beginning of creation, the full measure of "Agape" love that Adam and Eve shared with their Creator as they walked with Him "in the cool of the day". (Genesis 3:8)...

In First Corinthians, Chapter 13, the Lord's Apostle gives us the clearest picture of what true love really looks like.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophesies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

What's Love Got To Do With It?...... asks Tina Turner....

Answer:...... Everything

Friendship

2010-08-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

When You're down, and you're troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, no nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you gotta do is call and I'll be there yes I will...
You've got a friend

Songwriter: Carol King, Artist: James Taylor

Friendship....

I wrote a blog early this year about my friend, Stan. I hadn't seen him in several years, but when we got together it was just like we had never been separated. We just sort of "took up where we left off".... good fellowship.... a good friend...

When my wife and I were first married we befriended another young, married couple. All of us were struggling financially. I had a pud job that didn't pay much. My wife worked as a visiting nurse so she made fairly decent money and that's pretty much how stayed afloat in those lean years.

This couple we had befriended didn't have any children. We had one and one on the way. For some reason this couple had more of a struggle financially than we did and they never seemed to have two dimes to rub together. (Which is an interesting statement, since what has rubbing dimes together ever had anything to do with ....anything)...?...

Anyway, my wife and I would do what we could to help them out. A dollar or two here and there for gas, perhaps give them some groceries,... whatever we could afford to do. It was a hardship but we didn't mind doing it since they were our "friends", after all....

One night we were all sitting around in our living room, drinking coffee, just chatting about life, when the conversation turned to money woes again. Suddenly the wife turns to her husband and says, "You know, sweetie, if things don't turn around for us we might have to start dipping into our savings."..... Our... SAVINGS?....

I couldn't believe my ears!.... They had... "SAVINGS"!!!... And, here WE were, sacrificing to "Help" them?.... Unbelievable...

Well, to make a long story short, that was the end of our "friendship". We never invited them over or responded again to any of their invitations. We severed that relationship that night.

Looking back, I should have had more of a backbone and really let them have it.... verbally, anyway....but I didn't and that was the end of it.

The reason I am saying all this is simply to say that friendships are extremely important relationships. A good friendship is hard to find, hard to cultivate, and is a real treasure if you can find it and keep it.

There's a scripture in the bible that says, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother".
I truly believe it, for I have experienced it.

If you've got a friend (or "friends")... please don't take that special gift for granted. If you want a friend, then BE a friend, and don't take advantage of the relationship. Send them a note once in awhile (or just say it), and let them know you appreciate them. Be there for them when they are going through a hard time. Rejoice with them when they prosper.

And, if you have money in a savings account,.. don't be asking them for a handout. Friends treat each other with integrity.

Should the sky above you
Turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Just keep your head together and call my name out loud
Soon I'm be knocking upon your door...

You've got a friend...

Poor, Poor Pitiful Me

2010-08-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I lay my head on the railroad track
Waiting on the Double E
But the train don't run by here no more
Poor, poor pitiful me.....

song by Warren Zevon ....copyright 1973... (Made famous by the lovely Miss Linda Ronstadt....)

Have you ever thrown yourself a good, old-fashioned Pity Party?...

I do it...all too frequently...

Life ain't fair..... Things never work out for me.... I hate my job..... My back hurts.... I hate wearing glasses.... My cats give me allergies.... I never catch a break....My co-workers are a bunch of jerks...... I need a vacation.....Wah, Wah, Wah.....

Life sucks...

Sometimes I just need to read some "encouraging thoughts".... you know, some trite, meaningless, prosaic statements that will supposedly make me "feel better".... (you know the kind)...

examples:

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it we can never do anything wise in this world"

"We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in this world"

"All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming"

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble"

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything; but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do something that I can do"...

"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit"

"Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged"

BLAHDY...BLAHDY...BLAHDY...BLAH...BLAH......... (give me a break)....right?...

Anyway, if you're into this type of meaningless blather then you can read more quotes and wisdom penned by this particular writer by visiting the following website:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller

Helen Keller..1880-1968

Deaf and blind from the age of 19 months. Entered Radcliffe College in 1900, graduated with a Bachelor Of Arts Degree Cum Laude in 1904...

Contributor to many newspaper and magazine articles, wrote numerous essays on blindness, deafness, socialism, social issues and women's rights....

Traveled the world.... published 12 books....Honorary degrees from: Temple University, Harvard, University of Glasgow, Scotland,... Berlin, Germany, Dehli, India and Johannesburg, South Africa........ yada, yada, yada,......

"Life is either a great adventure or it is nothing"......H.K.

Anyway, this is my stupid blog for this week. Sorry I couldn't come up with something better.... I just can't seem to catch a break!...... Wah.....

Well, I lay my head on the railroad track
Waiting on the Double E
But the train don't run by here no more
Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me......

How Hillbillies Saved My Life

2010-08-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a book by Phil ("How's that working for you?") McGraw. He says that in everyone's life there are at least 5 people who have had major influence in their life. The influence could be either negative or positive, but it is a definite factor in the person you have become... the "nurture" part of nurture vs. nature in shaping the human psyche. I gave this some serious thought.... who had influenced ME over the years of my life?

One who stood out was an aunt, my dad's sister. Her name was Macy. She was the quintessential "hillbilly".... born and raised in the back hills of the Missouri Ozarks. She is the only woman I ever knew who chewed tobacco.... "Redman" "Tobacco to be exact. I tried it once or twice... it made me sick.... nasty-tasting stuff...She practically lived to hunt and fish. She also toted a rifle everywhere she went.

I was just a young boy, raised in the big city. This backwoods way of life was a totally different experience for me, and every summer, starting at about the age of 10, I would spend summers with her and her husband, "Sol". (It doesn't get any more "country" than this.... Macy and Sol)..... and, of course, their numerous dogs, cats, chickens, goats,....assorted menagerie of odd-ball animals.

There is a reason I mention her specifically as one of my own "top five." In my "city" life, and specifically during the school year, I wasn't very "athletic"....not very....not hardly....maybe not at all. I always got picked last for those recess football, baseball or dodge-ball games. That was back when kids could actually interact on the playground and even get "hurt" sometimes without the ACLU swooping in and filing a lawsuit to close the school down. The good old days.

I usually felt sort of "left out" from a lot of activities.... probably because I "was" left out of a lot of activities....

But..... every summer, when I would visit my aunt and uncle in the back-hills of Missouri, I was very much "accepted." My aunt would pull out this beautiful (in my eyes) 22 "over and under" rifle, (part 22 caliber bullet and part shotgun), give me a brief education on how to hande it and shoot it and then she would look at me and say, "let's go hunting!"..... music to my ears....

Her grandson, who was about my age, would come down there every summer also, so I had another kid to play with and get into trouble with. ("Trouble" meaning, like..chasing skunks or tormenting a bull)... you should never try it,... it will end up badly).

Every summer for several years we would follow her down the trails and through the backwoods of the rugged Ozark terrain. (For some reason, "Sol" was more into driving us to a trail head and simply staying in the old pickup,... sleeping).... weird....

We would hunt and fish and pick wild blueberries and blackberries, swim in the local "crick" and rivers. I felt like Huckleberry Finn.... I "lived" like Huckeberry Finn... for about 8 weeks every year... and I loved it. I couldn't wait to get up every morning and start a new adventure...

The reason I pick "Macy" as one of my top 5 most influential people is because, at that young age, .... she gave me a glimpse into a better life, ... a life where I was trusted (remember the rifle?), and "accepted" ....unconditionally. She never told me, "you can't do this"... she just led
the charge and expected me to follow. Actually, looking back, she gave me a lot of the type of "nurture" that one should expect from a father figure, even though she was a woman. My dad, her brother, was an alcoholic and really never had a lot of time to give me... at least, not without the accompaniment of a few of his close friends,... Jack Daniels and "Bud" Weiser....were two I got to know well....

Looking back, the memories I have of those summers spent in the Ozarks, with the "Hillbillies", always come flooding back with fondness and gratitude.... and, I believe the underlying reason is because, as a kid, I always felt more "at home" with those folks who accepted me for who I was and treated me like family (because I was), and especially, because I found in them something that every heart years for.... unconditional love.

No matter where it comes from, or the shape it comes in, unconditional love is, I believe, a requisite for forming a stable personality. Most of us spend out entire lives searching for it, grasping for it, only to find it slipping through our fingers like a ghost. Human love has its limitations and I have found that no one can meet the necessary requirements perfectly, no matter how hard they try or how much they care. Even my aunt, with all her good intentions, was still a flawed figure in a lot of ways, but she was able to give me, as I said before, a glimpse into something that would eventually, as an adult, find it's fruition in my relationship with my "Heavenly Father", the One Who is, I have discovered, the Author of "Unconditional Love"....

I believe it was "He", all along, actually leading me though those rugged Ozark hills and valleys, and now, today, by His help and grace, I still find myself treading life's perilous hills and valleys, being led... by grace,....unconditionally,....all the way.... home....

Amazing Grace

2010-07-27T18:55:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here, at my keyboard, wanting to write a blog on "Grace". I feel like an ant attempting to write a thesis on The Grand Canyon. The word rolls easy off the tongue but feels like a barbed hook when I try to swallow it. Grace. It is what is at the very heart of the Prodigal's Story. We love the way the story ends but, at the same time it is such a hard pill to swallow when we see it happening to someone who doesn't deserve it. Someone like the Prodigal Son, who throws his inheritance away with drinking and drugs and gambling and prostitution.... and God only knows what else.....

John Newton was a ship's captain in the 1700's. He lived for the slave trade. He was responsible for thousands of men, women and children to be bought on the auction block like so much chattel.

I think it takes a heartless man to treat another human being like a commodity,... but, back then slaves weren't "human beings"... they were just commerce.

One night, during a storm that threatened to sink the ship, John Newton cried out to God for mercy. Amazingly enough, God heard his pitiful plea and spared his life. John Newton. The slave trader. God not only heard him, God intervened in a powerful way and changed John Newton's heart.... made him a different person. That is so.... unfair. Maybe that's why there is the saying that "God works in mysterious ways".... If "I" were God I sure wouldn't have done it. I would have thrown him overboard and saved the ship... but not him.

John Newton eventually left his sailing life and became a preacher. He shared what he had found with others. He shared this "grace" he had discovered.

Another fellow by the name of William Wilberforce heard John Newton preach and he, too became a disciple of Grace. So much so that William Wilberforce started the movement to abolish slavery. Interesting how that works....

John Newton found an interest in hymn-writing and started writing music for The Church. Among the many hymns he wrote, one in particular has always stood out. The song is called, "Amazing Grace". I'm sure you've heard it,... even sung it at one time or other. There must have been something amazingly memorable in being the captain of a slave ship, in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm.... and having your entire world turned upside-down by the simple cry of "God have mercy on me!"......

I know it works. It happened to me... many years ago. I had my world turned upside-down by Grace. Actually, to be correct, I would have to say that I had my world turned "right-side up" by Grace. Perhaps it is something that has to be experienced rather than explained. Like I wrote in a previous blog, it is like trying to describe what the color "blue" tastes like....

All I know is that, when I hear or sing this song, I can definitely relate. It's the best thing I've heard that comes the closest to describing "grace"..... It is.... Amazing....

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost but now I'm found

Was blind, but now I see

'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear

And Grace, my fears relieved

How precious did that Grace appear

The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come

'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far

And Grace will lead me home

When we've been there ten-thousand years

Bright, shining as the sun

There's no less days to sing His praise

Than when we've first begun

The Prodigal Part 2

2010-07-24T13:27:00.001-07:00

"Becoming an addict is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life"....

"Becoming an addict is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life"...

Two addicts, two different views on life.....

Why?

It has to do with the story of the Prodigal Son. I wrote the chapter in my previous blog from last week. (You can read it for yourself in Luke, chapter 15)...

I've heard these words often. To one person, their addiction has ruined their lives. They've suffered loss. Loss of health, finances, family ties, jobs, reputations....

Another addict has suffered as much but sees life in a completely different way.

Like The Prodigal, they have squandered their wealth (however you might describe "wealth")... and they have found themselves far from home, friendless, pennyless, ...perhaps even living like one of the pigs in the pig-pen of life....seemingly without hope, without a future.

The difference between the two is that one has, as in the story of The Prodigal, "come to their senses" and headed for "home".. to a loving Father,.. perhaps for the first time. They have surrendered their lives to God. Given Him the "junk" in their lives. They made a U-Turn in life and headed in a Spiritual direction, a place where they are taken in and embraced as family. They've found "community" in groups like The Church, or A.A., or N.A., Al-Anon, or a family group that shares their experience, strength and hope. (by the way, the word "repent" simply means to "turn around".... go in a new direction)....

It's not a terrible thing to be a "Prodigal" in the eyes of God. Actually we're ALL prodigals in some sense of the word, but most of us never seem to realize it. We're all broken and Spiritually "homeless", but we've learned to cope with it, somehow even seem to have prosper in it.... materially.

What the one addict (the one who considers it a blessing), has learned, is that no matter how much a person screws up their life, there is a homecoming awaiting them and there is a Love awaiting their return Who is constantly watching the distant hills, daily waiting to see that wandering soul of a son or daughter,..come up over the horizon. A Father who is willing to not only "forgive" all faults, but is ready to throw a party to celebrate our return. This prodigal has experienced a supernatural grace that the other prodigal (the one who considers their addiction a curse), will never experience.

When Jesus told this story he was talking to an audience which included a lot of very "religious" people who didn't think they were in need of grace. They "had everything together" and were appalled that Jesus would depict God as a loving Father who was willing to embrace "sinners".... prostitutes, drug addicts, gambling addicts, sex addicts, I.R.S. agents (the scandalous "tax collectors" of Roman-ruled Palestine)...... and even those who simply saw their need for grace and mercy... and forgiveness. The scandal of.... grace.

A key figure in the story, I believe, is the older brother. The brother who seemingly never did anything wrong, the brother who stayed on the farm and did all the heavy lifting. The one who never scandalized the family. He was appalled and angry that his father would accept this "black sheep" back into the family and even set him back in a position of trust. The older brother....

The Father showed that he loved the older brother just as he loved The Prodigal, but the older brother just couldn't stand this extension of forgiveness and grace. It wasn't "fair". The Bible teaches that God isn't "fair" when it comes to forgiveness... when it comes to giving grace freely and lavishly.

I think it's a great thing that Jesus portrayed God in this way, for most of us would be simply lightning rods for judgment if we truly got what we think is "fair" treatment from God for the way we've lived our lives.

The Prodigal.... He forever had a different relationship with the Father he had abandoned and disgraced. He found out that he had a Father who truly loved him and accepted him. He never realized this before. Now he had a new perspective on life. His prodigal ways had become the best thing that had ever happened to him. His eyes were opened to love and he had come back home .... for the first time....

"Grace substitues a full, childlike and delighted acceptance of our need, a joy in total dependence. The good man is sorry for the sins which have increased his need. He is not entirely sorry for the fresh need they have produced.".......C.S. Lewis

The Prodigal, Part 1

2010-07-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the greatest "short story" ever written, told by the Master Storyteller...

A man had two sons. The younger told his father, "I want my share of your estate now, instead of waiting until you die." His father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons

A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and took a trip to a distant land, and there wasted all his money on parties and prostitutes. About the time all his money was gone a great famine swept over the land and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him to feed his pigs. The boy became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the swine looked good to him,.... and no one gave him anything.
When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, "At home even the hired men have food enough to spare and here I am, dying of hunger. I will go home to my father and say, "Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you and am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired man."

So he returned home to his father.
While he was still a long distance away his father saw him coming and was filled with compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him.
His son said to him, "Father I have sinned against heaven and you and am not worthy of being called your son.".... But his father said to the servants, "Quick, bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him.... and a jeweled ring for his finger and shoes for his feet!... And kill the calf we have in the holding pen. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has returned to life. He was lost and is found."

So the party began.....

Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home he heard dance music coming from the house and he asked one of the servants what was going on.
"Your brother is back, he was told, and your father has killed the calf we were fattening and has prepared a great feast to celebrate his coming home again unharmed."

The older brother was angry and wouldn't go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied,... "All these years I've worked hard for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to do, and in all that time you never even gave one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet, when this son of yours comes back after spending your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the finest calf we have on the place."

"Look, dear son, his father said to him, 'you and I are very close, and everything I have is yours. But it is right to celebrate. For he is your brother, and he was dead and has come back to life! He was lost and is found!".......

(to be continued).....

Yes Men

2010-07-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

Recently we did a Bible study on an Old Testament king named Eglon. Because he was surrounded by servants who were so intimidated by him, he allowed himself to be put in a situation where he was left by himself and was assassinated by an enemy.

I remember back about 20 years ago when my family and I were attending a fairly large, well-known church. The pastor was very well-known as a speaker and book author and had started the church from scratch several years before. The church had grown into sort of a mega-church and had a couple thousand members. The pastor had a group of elders who were accountable to him. The problem was,... HE wasn't accountable to them. They were basically just "yes men".... too intimidated to challenge the pastor on any issue. After all, he was "The Senior Pastor"... and, to most of the people in the congregation he was a "Spiritual Giant".

This pastor had always cautioned his staff that it was not proper for a man to counsel a woman by himself, that there should at least be another person present. This was so there would be no hint of impropriety... and, lesser chance of developing an unhealthy relationship.

So, ...one day, the pastor finds himself counseling a woman.... alone..without any oversight. The elders know this is a problem but they choose to simply ignore it because they are too afraid to "make waves", too fearful to confront him on the issue. After all, this was "Mr. Spiritual" who was doing the counseling. This was the senior pastor. What could happen?

Well,... what could happen is that the pastor could end up having an affair and running off with the woman to another state, forsaking his church, his wife and his family. Yes, ....it happened. It dealt a devastating blow to the congregation.

Eventually the pastor came to his senses, repented and returned to the church. But, the damage was done, the church was broken apart, and a lot of folks were left questioning everything they had ever believed about Christianity and true faith.

It's a dangerous thing to be surrounded by people who are too afraid to question you once in awhile,... afraid to "confront" you about a direction your life is taking.

I think all of us would like to believe that we are always right about every issue in life. The simple truth is that we aren't. We all have our blind spots and will eventually, if not held in check, fall into a pit of some sort. It takes a degree of humility to admit this and to allow ourselves to be open to criticism. That doesn't mean that the criticism is always accurate, but it does mean that we have the ability to at least consider what people are trying to tell us.... without being offended by it....respecting the advice and even the "correction" of others.

I hope you will be one of those kind of people who refuse to surround yourself with "yes men" ... or "yes women". Allow yourself to be a person of integrity and humility. Both literally, and figuratively, it might save your life one day.

The Gambler

2010-07-02T18:59:00.001-07:00

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, .. know when to fold 'em,...know when to walk away, ... and know when to .... run"..... (from the song, "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers)....

My wife's father was an old navy man,... served on a merchant ship in World War Two.
He was getting up in years and not in the best of health when he got an invitation to attend a navy reunion in Las Vegas. So... he asked if my wife and I would go with him and be there to help with logistics and such. We had never been to Vegas so we thought it would be a nice thing to do, see a different part of the country, see "Sin City"..... Branson on steroids...
My wife and I are not gamblers...never had the inclination to do so even though "The Boats" had come to our own city a couple of years earlier and had made gambling a big attraction.

Anyway... we went to Vegas.

Walking through one of the hotels, surrounded by One-Armed Bandits, my wife decided to plunk a quarter in one of the machines and give it a whirl.
Well,... don't you know... the first time she did this, out popped about 7o dollars in quarters!
Hey!.... This gambling stuff ain't so bad!.... very cool....
I guess one has to figure if they hit the jackpot on the first try then it must be pretty easy to keep 'er going...
I ended up playing the poker machines and my wife and her mother played the Bandits pretty much the whole time we were there. No time for Navy Reunions when there's loot to win...right?

No...we actually did attend the reunion with her dad and had a good time, even when the ladies in their 70's and 80's came out in their skimpy outfits kicking up their heels and dancing in a chorus line... (although I still do have nightmares about that once in awhile)....
When we arrived back in dear old K.C. my wife and I decided it was time to, perhaps, visit "The Boats"... just to see if they were as exciting as the ones in Los Wages, Nevada.. They were.
I think we spent several months going down and losing our money. Sometimes breaking even, but.. most of the time... losing.
One day we were walking out of one of the casinos and just looked at each other, knowingly... the time had come to face it... we were being foolish. We decided that our money could be better spend having a nice dinner and going to a movie....

All this to say: In the world of "Addiction" I think Gambling doesn't get the respect that it deserves. There is definitely a chemical change that takes place in the brain when you're surrounded by the sights and sounds of the casino machinery.... a rush of adrenalin and dopamine... a "high" if you will. It is very reminiscent of the old "Pavlov's Dog" experimentation. Feed the dog, ring a bell....feed the dog, ring a bell. Keep it up long enough and fairly soon you don't have to feed the dog. The dog simply salivates at the sound of "the bell"....
There are enough bells and whistles in the Casinos to float a pack of German Shepherds....
Thankfully, I recognized the signs, and nipped it in the bud before it got out of control. Some folks don't. Sure, it's "entertaining", but it's also just another avenue into the world of addiction. I know of people who have lost cars, homes, jobs and families to a gambling addiction. I read of a man who committed suicide because he was too embarrassed to face his family and tell them he had gambled away ALL their money (savings, college tuitions, home mortgage,..everything)....

Following is a test that is given to people who think they might have a gambling problem. I hope you will look it over, maybe test yourself if you think this might describe you....and reach out for help if it does. Don't let any addiction ruin your life.. whether it's booze, sex, pot, cocaine,... cigarettes.... (they can shorten your life by 20 years).... food...?

Be careful out there.... the world is a seductive place.....know when to...run

The Test:
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18.Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction as a result of your gambling?

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least 7 of these questions.

Mid-Life Crisis

2010-06-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

Recently I spoke with a friend of mine who said he thought he was going through a mid-life crisis. I guess he could be... if he lives to be 100. I think an actual mid-life crisis should occur around the age of 35, since most folks life average is around 70 years.
So.. I asked him this question: "How is this presenting itself in your life?" "What do you mean?" He replied. "Well, are you thinking of having an affair?. Taking an around-the-world hot air balloon journey? ...Joining the circus?....What?"...
"No, no... not that. It's just that I'm sort of restless. I'm thinking about buying a sports car and fixing it up...really cool looking sort of thing. . Perhaps just drive it around... I don't know.... just thinking about stuff."

I've seen those older guys driving around in their sports cars, sometimes convertibles, with the top down,... the whole diamond earring in the ear routine, ...shirtless... (heads up... that's really not a good look for most over 50's... over 40's?...)... Actually, most guys over 30, especially if you really like beer.)
My friend asked me if I had ever experience the whole mid-life crisis thing and, if so, what did I do about it. After thinking about it I had to come to the conclusion that I had never actually "had" a mid-life crisis... I guess. I mean, I never had the inclination to buy a sports car or get tattoos or earrings or have an affair.... or ride around shirtless. You can all thank me for that one.
I don't mean to make light of what some guys (and gals) go through emotionally when they reach a certain age. I do have some age-related feelings about getting older. They just haven't pushed me over the edge (yet). I would say that, if anything, the feelings I have about getting older have mostly to do with "accomplishments". When I turned 50 I went back to college to get a degree in Addiction Counseling. It wasn't a major degree, just an Associates Degree, but, it was important for me because I had dropped out of high school back when I was young and stupid and smoking a lot of pot and taking those funny pills that make you think your socks are turning into bullfrogs and the evergreen in the front yard is actually a beautiful woman....
As I get older I do have these feelings of not making a difference anymore. When the kids are grown and have flown the nest and the job I've worked for 30 years no longer inspires me to hit it hard like I did when I was 30... When I haven't accomplished some of the things I set out to accomplish... the goals I set for myself. Getting a better education was one that I accomplished recently and that made me feel a lot better about myself. It seems life is a lot about setting goals and then stiving to reach them somehow.
When I think about me, or anyone else, going through what they call a mid-life crisis, I'm inclined to think that a lot of it has to do with feeling no longer "useful" (the fact that it rhymes with "youthful" is probably more than coincidence. I think we all want to feel like we make a difference, and, most of us believe that we do, or are too busy with kids and jobs to think about it, especially when we're younger. Then, as we get older, we start to get these nagging questions: "What am I doing with my life anymore?"... "How much longer do I have to accomplish my goals"?.... "Why can't I remember what I had for lunch?"....
Personally, I decided a few years ago to just put one foot in front of the other... go back to school and get a degree.... record some new songs that coincide with that degree and put out a new CD of Addiction Recovery Music.... perform some concerts for folks that usually don't get the opportunity to attend concerts that deal with heart issues, (addiction, alcoholism, homelessnes),....start writing a blog that allows me to share some of my life experiences and hopefully inspire some thoughs about life, love and the pursuit of happiness....
I'm inclined to think that we react to growing old(er) in various ways. I believe the mid-life crisis is simply the desire to re-capture our youth, to try and go back in time. We can do crazy things like have affairs, buy exotic cars, act like we're 25 again and start rock-climbing or bunge jumping off bridges.... We can try to numb themselves by drinking and drugging, or, as it is with some people..... not think about it at all. I guess it depends on the person.
I think, as long as we're still breathing, we're all able to make some changes in our lives that will help us feel our lives arent being wasted. Hopefully, as we've grown older, we have some wisdom to pass down to the younger generation(s). Even trying to help others avoid some of the mistakes we've made is, perhaps, a vital contribution to someone's life and could be making a big difference.....

I know I'm sort of rambling as I write this blog. It's sort of a relief valve for me. It was either that or buy a sports car and get a tattoo... but if I did that my wife would kill me.

...... Hey, wait a minute!... Then I wouldn't have to worry any more about mid-life, end-of-life stuff..... hmm..... I hope I made the right decision here.....

Anyway, if you have any comments about your own feelings about getting older,.. or mid-life crisis issues, I would love to hear about them.. you can email me at: coloringmoses@yahoo.com or make a comment here on the blog site. Hope you all have a great week!....

Characters For Sale

2010-06-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

I had a senior pastor of a church I attended about 25 years ago (not the pastor or church I'm in now).... tell this story one Sunday morning from the pulpit. It raised a more than a few eyebrows...

"A well-dressed man meets a woman in a bar and makes her this proposal.... Would you sleep with me if I gave you one million dollars?".... The woman is stunned (momentarily) by the question, and then she thinks it over for a minute and says, "Yes, I guess I would... for a million dollars."
The man then says, "What about for ten dollars?".... The woman looks at him appallingly and says, "Just what kind of woman do you think I am?".... The man retorts: "We've already determined that.... now we're just haggling on the price.".....
The pastor was giving a message that Sunday morning on "Character".... Do we have it?... and, what would it take to cross that line?

Donald Miller, in his book, "To Own A Dragon", recounts a scene from the movie, "The Family Man", starring Nicholas Cage. Nicholas' character is standing behind a woman who is paying for an item at a convenience store. The store owner, played by Don Cheadle, is given a dollar bill by the woman but proceeds to give her back change as if she had handed him a ten-dollar bill. He counts it out to her, giving her back nine dollars in "change". The woman hesitates, just for a split-second, put the money in her purse and walks out the door. The store owner then looks at Nicholas Cage and says, "Did you see that? That woman just sold her character for nine dollars." He knew all along and was simply testing her to see what she would do.

It's tempting..... To sell our character. Maybe we wouldn't do it for nine dollars.... or ninety dollars... or nine hundred dollars... but, what if I were to find a bag full of money along the side of the road?.... Thousands of dollars... just for the taking.
We read, once in awhile, about a person who discovers a large sum of cash. Perhaps it fell out of a Wells Fargo truck and ended up along the side of the road. We read about that person returning the money, not keeping it. And the newspapers and t.v. reporters are always right there asking the question... "Why?".... "Why didn't you just keep the money?".... And usually the person says something like, "Because it wouldn't have been the right thing to do. It wasn't mine to keep."
I love it when I hear stories like that... and I know you do too. I keep telling myself, "Yep, that's what I would do,... return the money!" (I hope I'm not lying to myself)...
But... then again,... there are other ways of selling our character that has nothing to do with monetary gain. Slacking off on the job....robbing our employer of his/her money that they are paying us to work.... Doing something that I know is a bad example to my kids or my wife but doing it anyway... just because "I want to"..... Refusing to apologize when I've really offended someone. Not repaying a debt.... the list could go on and on and on.

One thing I love about A.A. and programs like it is that they insist, not only on dealing with addiction, but they also insist on character-building. They take you through the 12-Step program (there are others, like Celebrate Recovery), and, with each step there is a process that one goes through that in "some way relates to character-building. It's a great thing. A humbling thing, .. but a great thing nonetheless. (Being in Recovery is more than just "not drinking/drugging").... it's a lifestyle change...

I pray, with God's help, to try and maintain good character traits throughout my life. It will definitely take God's help because I know I can be suckered-in really quick to doing stupid things. I have a history.....
Anyway, I think it's important to be careful, to treat ourselves with respect and hold fast to our integrity... and when we screw-up somewhere (we will), to have the courage (and humility) to try to put things right again. Whether it's nine dollars, ninety dollars, or nine million dollars, .. it's still character prostitution.....Just ask my old pastor....

Paying Attention

2010-06-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

So... this old gentleman is driving down the highway when suddenly he sees flashing red lights behind him. He pulls his car over to the side of the road and the police officer gets out of his patrol car and walks up to the driver's door. The old guy rolls down his window, the officer sticks his head in and says, "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of your car a few miles back!?"....
The old man draws a sigh of relief and answers, "Thank the Lord!.... I thought I had gone deaf!"...
Listening..... It seems most of the time our lives are simply filled with "noise".... and we are so easily distracted by it.
My wife said something to me the other day while I was watching a very interesting and totally absorbing television commercial which had talking breakfast cereal. Very stimulating stuff.
After about 3 minutes had gone by I looked at her and said, .... "Did you say something?"...
She gave me a disgusted look and said, "No, I guess I didn't"......
I'm sure this has never happened to you. I felt sort of bad about it for a few seconds and then another commercial came on and it had singing underwear. Being a musician myself, it had my immediate attention.
Listening... paying attention. Sometimes I think it's an art in itself. When I was getting my degree in counseling we had a class in "active listening". We had to pick a partner and have them tell us a story and we had to really listen to them and show them that we were actually listening.
When it was my turn I made up some incredibly crazy story to tell and had my partner rolling on the floor. Yes, I took it all very seriously....
The simple fact is: people are, at heart, conversational and interactive. It's just that we live in a society where there is so much distraction.... television, movies, music, I-pods, texting, cell phones, those Blueberry thingys.... We have come to the conclusion that conversation is no longer a necessity, or at least that it falls far below the necessities for a quality of life. "Hey, how's it goin?", "How ya doin?"... "What's goin' on?"..... Rhetorical questions that don't demand (or want) an answer.
I think it's very telling that a person will actually "pay" someone to simply listen to them. Psychiatrists and psychologists make a pretty decent living just "listening" to people talk about their lives, their hopes and dreams...and problems. If you pay someone to listen to you then you can be pretty sure that they will... hopefully.
It has been said, and I truly believe it, that more than 50% of counseling is simply "listening".
Someone who listens, .. I mean, "really" listens, hears not only what is being said, but they hear what is "not" being said also. They learn to, as it is often quoted, "read between the lines" to find out what the other person is really trying to say,.. or trying to avoid saying, or is totally unaware of what they are really saying.
Listening. Paying attention. It's something we have to cultivate in our lives, to make a concerted effort to train ourselves to do. It's a part of life that we are missing out on every day due to the electronic, fast-paced culture we live in.
Give it a try today. If someone strikes up a conversation, show them you're interested in what they have to say. Maybe even ask them to elaborate on something that you don't quite understand. Try to be "engaged" in the exchange.
Anyway, that's my two-cents for the day. Gotta run. There's this crazy new commercial on t.v. with a giant puppet woman loading a moving van.....

"ChristianWorld"

2010-05-10T09:47:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite movies is called, "WestWorld". I think it was made in the late 1970's or early 1980's. The movie is about a special place where families could go on vacation and the setting was the old Wild West. The cool thing about it was that everything was "computerized" (this was years before computers were commonplace.) The whole area was run by an underground bunker of computers and wires and computer programmers who oversaw everything that happened via hidden video screens.
The great thing about "WestWorld" was that everything in it was programmed to give a positive response to whatever your wanted to do. You could live in this world for a few days and be anything you wanted to be and do anything you wanted to do in this "other world". If you wanted to hit on the girl in the barroom, then you could, and she would be amiable to do whatever you desired. If you wanted to get in a bar-fight (I think this must be for the guys), then you could do that and you didn't have to worry about "losing" the fight. Everyone and everything in the scenario was fake except for you, the person paying for the vacation.
Yule Brenner was the bad guy in WestWorld. He was the notorious evil gunslinger and he would always end up picking a fight with the men on their "vacation". He was a ruthless killer and the "fastest gun in the west". But, it didn't matter. You could take him in a gunfight, even if you didn't know a Colt 45 from a roll of masking tape. He was programmed for you to outdraw him and kill him and you would get to hear all the "fake" barmaids ooh and aah over you. You were "the man".
One day something went terribly wrong in WestWorld. A guy (a "real" guy, a vacationer), got into a showdown with Yule Brenner. ..... and Yule Brenner outdrew the guy and killed him...dead,... on the spot. (I guess they, (the WestWorld programmers). figured it didn't matter that there were real bullets in the guns..... I mean, what could happen?....
Everything started to unravel. There was a "glitch" in the computers and all the bad guys and bad girls and even "nature" (yes, they even had rattlesnakes).... all these animatronic creations were set loose to do as they were programmed, except that they were no longer programmed to let the vacationers "win". It was complete chaos, (and good movie-making entertainment for me).
I got to thinking about this one day and suddenly realized how much it related to "ChristianWorld". Christian World is made up of mostly fake stuff, just like it was in WestWorld. ChristianWorld is a special place you can visit (especially on television on a late Sunday night). In ChristianWorld you can have all your heart's desires met. Want a new Cadillac? You got it. Want perfect health? Got it...no problemo. Rolex?... Easy peasy. Want a God? Very cool... There's a God,.... and He's programmed to always answer your prayers exactly the way you want them to be answered. Everything in ChristianWorld is programmed to satisfy your every desire and whim. Beneath the surface, in their underground bunkers are these men (and women) who are handsomely paid to make sure you have the best "gol-durn" vacation you ever had!... (There's no real cussing in ChristianWorld....at least not while the programmers are on duty.)...
I use to visit "ChristianWorld". I thought it was a cool concept. I bought into it for a time, ....even took a vacation there once or twice. I remember the last time I went. Yule Brenner picked a fight with me. Inexplicably, he outdrew me. Luckily I just suffered a flesh-wound and made it out alive. After that I never went back.
I talked to God about it..... I told him I didn't like "ChristianWorld". I thought it was evil, deceptive, and that it could easily lead some people to think that it was how the world (and God), actually operates. No, I didn't like ChristianWorld,.. not one bit.
God told me He didn't like it one bit either, that He didn't have anything to do with it, really. I was glad to hear that. For some reason it made me feel...safer.
I can live with a flesh wound here and there,...... I just can't live with a fake, puppet God....

Stories

2010-05-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

Writing these blogs has caused me to think back on a lot of stuff in my life. I read about a guy who keeps a journal, and every time he thinks of something from his childhood, he writes it down in the journal. He says he doesn't remember much about is childhood, about his past, and he's afraid that he won't remember his "life"..... so he's writing it down the best he can as he remembers bits and pieces.

I remember, when I was really young, years before my dad became an alcoholic and somewhat of a terror to the family..... when he would tell me these "stories" about his life growing up. He spent his childhood days growing up in the Missouri Ozarks and his younger adult years working on a ranch in Texas. He would tell great stories about hunting and fishing, roaming the still-uncultivated woodlands of the Mark Twain National Forest, his encounters with black bears, bobcats, and hidden caves in Missouri and Rattle Snakes, deserts and scorpions in Texas. As a young child I was fascinated by his stories and I can still remember saying often, "Dad, tell me a story. Tell me again about the "Texas Tornadoes" and the "Armadillo and the rattlesnake".... or whatever the story happened to be. They were all great stories, especially to a young boy. My aunt, his sister, had the same amazing ability. She told me some amazing stories about her life and kept me spellbound for hours on end.
I think it's sad that we, as a society, seem to have lost the whole art of story telling. We are a people of the "T.V." We still listen to (and watch) "stories", but they aren't, in reality, "Stories".
What we see on television are mostly fictitious accounts, created in the imagination of a writer sitting in a room inventing a story, to be acted out by people who are not really the characters they are portraying. Actors acting like other people who act out stories that have nothing to do with the real world. It's really a weird thing if you stop and think about it.
Someone asked me once why I wanted to be a counselor. I told them that I like to hear people's "stories".... what makes them tick, what made or makes them the people that they are today. I like their stories because I grew up listening to real stories and so I think I have a natural appreciation for it. Sometimes, by listening to folks tell their stories I can catch a glimpse of something that is missing from their story. Something like "adventure" or "awe" or "unconditional love". Some stories are filled with sadness and loss. Some are really funny. Some are just normal roads that have taken an unwanted detour and need to be redirected onto the main highway of life.
Your life,... my life,.. is a story,.. filled with other "stories". I hope you remember some of yours. I hope, if you have the time and inclination, you will share some of your stories with other people, especially your kids. Take a vacation from the television and video games and tell them about some of the events of your life. Tell them a funny story, an adventure story, a sad story... it doesn't matter which it is as long as it's true and real and part of who you are. You are passing something special down to the next generation Tell your stories...before the art and magic of the telling gets lost forever....

My Life In A Convent

2010-05-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. I use to live in a Catholic Convent...
A few years ago we bought a house and were in the process of selling the house we were in and moving to our new home. Unfortunately, the timing was off and we sold the house we were in and had to move out before we could get into the house we had just bought. Quite a quandary.
The Lutheran Church I grew-up in had just purchased this old Convent and was in the process of remodeling it for a new ministry. We inquired about perhaps moving in there for a few weeks until we could get into our new home ...and they agreed. They figured it was good to have someone there to look after the place until they could get their remodeling crew all lined-up. So they gave us the keys and we moved right in...
It was a huge place. It almost felt haunted because it was so big and old and quiet and it had so many rooms. Our cat went into a hole in the wall and we didn't see her for 3 days. When she finally emerged she was totally covered in dirt and cobwebs.... weird...
We slept upstairs and every morning I would say to my wife, "Did you hear that weird organ music in the middle of the night?"... It would always freak her out.
My two boys were pretty young, 8 and 10 years, I believe. It was cold that time of year so we couldn't do much outside. There was a fairly large room with built-in chairs on each side. I might have been The Chapel... probably was. Anyway, my kids and I invented this game that we played in the chapel. We called it "Peakball". I don't know how it got it's name. You know how a child's mind has such a goofy imagination. Maybe even one of my kids named it... can't say for sure.Peakball was just an old sock taped-up with masking tape. We played it like a soccer game, where one person had to kick the "ball" and hit the opposite wall (being guarded by another player) to score a point. It was great fun... I thought it might be sort of "sacrilegious", being in the old Chapel and all. I thought I heard God's voice one day while we were playing.... "He shoots!... He Scores!"...
After that I thought it was cool with Him.
I got up to shave one morning, went into the bathroom, and found that the mirror had been painted over....strange. So, I went into another bathroom (I think there were about 7 bathrooms in this place)...and THAT bathroom mirror had been painted over also!... It was the same with ALL the bathrooms... mirrors painted over... I must have gone out to my car to shave in the rear view mirror. I asked someone about this phenomenon and they told me that the "Sisters" who lived there painted over all the mirrors. They didn't want to look at themselves. They though it would be make them "prideful". They wanted to stay humble. They even had a little round tube thingy that, if they got a meal or message or anything from the outside world, whatever was delivered was stuck into this slot and they would spin it around into the next room to be received... so they never actually let anyone "see" them....or them see anyone else!..
You know, ... it's a weird thing about pride. The Bible tells us that it's embedded into the human heart. There's "good" pride,.. like when your kid hits a home-run in little league and you're proud of him (or her),.. and then there's this "bad" pride where you think you're pretty hot stuff, God's gift to women, or men, or humanity... kind of feeling.
Some people look in a mirror and are prideful, while others can look into that very same mirror and see nothing but shame. I use to be one of those people.... the ones who see shame.. and blame... and guilt...when they look into a mirror.
That was before I realized that I had been forgiven by God for all the crappy stuff I had done. He had forgiven me simply because I asked Him to. The hard part for me wasn't "Has God forgiven me?".... but, "Have I forgiven myself?"..... I think we're a lot harder on ourselves than God even thinks of being. Nowadays I can look into the mirror just fine. My life has been truly blessed. I can say to the man in the mirror, "You're a jerk. You don't deserve any of this!".... and the man looking back at me always says, "No, you use to be a jerk, and too frequently you still do jerky stuff, but, you're not the man you once were. And, yes, it is true that you DON'T deserve any of this good stuff!... it's all grace. Just don't forget, ....It's ALL grace...
So... live with it..."

Plastic Surgery

2010-05-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

I had to go in for a doctor visit the other day... so, I took along a really good book to read (Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller... I highly recommend it), and was looking forward to some quiet time while I was waiting for my name to be called.
Suddenly, right at 9 a.m on the button, the television, bolted to the wall directly above my head , began blaring..."The Regis And Kelly Show"!.... loud enough that folks could hear it all the way through the building and the McDonald's about a block away.
I tried to just keep reading and simply ignore the inane blathering above my head. But, something about their conversation caught my attention. They suddenly started talking about "plastic surgery",.. and how, breast enhancements were becoming "passe". The NEW trend was in "calf" enhancement and , "upper arm" implants. (I kid you not).... Folks had commented so much on Michelle Obama's sleeveless blouses and how great her "arms" looked that now women wanted arms like hers... or "calves" like.... I don't know..... calves?.....(the barnyard variety)....?
Anyway,... it made me almost sick,.. and mad. They were talking about all these implants and I was thinking to myself, "What they really NEED is a BRAIN implant!"....
I had recently seen a program on t.v. where entire families in Asia were living on floating boats, eating fish out of a river full of diesel fuel, garbage and human waste. Raising families on 5 bucks a day by selling fish from that same nasty river. And here we are, worried about how we "look". Amazing.
Plastic surgery. That's a good name for it. Plastic.... Like when something isn't really real. We use to say, "Hey, is that real?".... and someone would answer forlornly, "No, sorry,...it's just plastic".
I think it's a real gauge of where our society is. We, as a society, are so fixated on "appearance". Women have to have bigger (smaller sometimes, but most of the time "bigger")...breasts, and firmer "butts", and better skin and nails and teeth and eyelashes....calves and upper arms. Men have to have more hair, six-pack abs, bigger.... well, you figure it out.... The only thing it seems we don't need bigger or more of .... ego.
I realize I'm venting. I normally try to write a blog that is more.... more,... uplifting?....
But, sometimes you just gotta vent. All I'm saying is: If you are one of those people thinkin about having plastic surgery (unless you've been in a fire or accident and need to be restored to some "normalcy".... please, I beg you... don't!... That goes for face-lifts too. Have you actually "seen" Kenny Rogers lately? His wax figure in Branson, Missouri looks more lifelike that he does.
We all love Martin Luther King Jr. We love to think about what a great man he was, how he changed segregation, how he stood up (and was persecuted for standing up for) some amazing things. We love to quote him. It makes us sound kind of cool, ...I think...
Martin Luther King Jr. said: "A man (or woman) should not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
I agree. I also think we shouldn't judge "ourselves" by the content of what is "under" the skin, especially Silicon Valley "implants". We all need to work on our "character". We need "character" implants.
That's what I love about God and The Church, real community, family, and 12-Step Programs. They help develop character. They don't care about your bra size....
Someday, if God ever asks me, "What did you do with your life, .... I don't want to stand there like and idiot and say, "Well, let's see... I got these really cool hair implants.... and I got these great looking abs...and "calves"... don't forget those!... Spent a fortune on them!"....

And God would look at me sadly and say something, like.... "I see... but, I don't think you really understood the question. The question was: "What did you do with your.... LIFE"?.....

Epiphany

2010-05-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

I grew up listening to a lot of music. We use to sit around an old piano and sing, "Fly Me To The Moon", "April Love", "Sentimental Journey", "Moon River",...etc; all the old beautiful standards of the 30's, 40's and 50's.... I still think they're great songs.
Then, one day, when I was in my early teens, I heard "Yesterday" by The Beatles. I had an epiphany. I had never actually seen the guy who "wrote" the song actually "sing" the song, and Paul McCartney really delivered an amazing performance of it on the Ed Sullivan Show. I didn't even like The Beatles until I heard "Yesterday".... and it changed my life. I knew from that moment on that I would never look at songs quite the same, and I wanted to be part of that "magic" of creating such a beautiful thing.. such wonderful art.
I've written songs ever since, the first one when I was 15 years old. It wasn't a very good song, but it was my baby, my creation, and I thought it was the most beautiful song in the world. Today I can't (maybe I just don't want to) remember it.

The best definition I've read, of an "Epiphany", is this one: A sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, commonplace occurrence or experience.

My "experience" listening to "Yesterday" changed my life and set me forth in a direction that I never would have normally set-out on. It made me a "songwriter" for life. That was "my" art. For others it's painting, or sculpture, or photography. The possiblities are seemingly endless.
I've had four "Epiphanys" in my life. The first one I just described. The others?... The day I fell in love with my wife. I never knew that I could love another human being even more than I loved myself. It was an amazing thing. Then, when my children were born and I experienced the miracle of life... life from life, God's big fingerprint to tell us He's here with us. And God... God,... that was the fourth one. The day I realized, for the first time in my life, that the big hole in my soul was shaped like a snow-white,... Dove. (You see, ... everything is song-related)... :-)

"One the wings of a snow-white, dove... He sends His pure, sweet love.. Like a sign from above,... on the wings of a dove"..... (an old song by Ferlin Husky)... Do you think Ferlin Husky is a real name?.... hard to make up something like that.....

Anyway, that was my fourth epiphany. Realizing my need for God and asking Him to come into my life. (I thought it was just to "help" me... I didn't know it would "change" me!)....

I've heard alcoholics and addicts talk about having their epiphanys... their "a-ha" moment. That moment when a big light-bulb came on in the dark recesses of their souls and they, for the first time, came to see that they were, indeed, "powerless" over their addiction(s) and totally helpless in fighting the biggest battle of their lives. Step Number One....
I don't know how to create an "epiphany". I don't think that's even possible. It's like trying to describe what the color "blue" tastes like. If you've tasted it, then you KNOW. But if you haven't, well then... it's futile.
I wish everyone could experience an epipany. Especially those moments that change the course of a life for the better. Especially the one where God becomes something more than an Old-Testament Sunday School lesson. The one where He becomes a "person" you can know and talk to and vent your frustrations to, ....entrust your very soul to. I pray that happens for everyone who reads this. I think that's the only real answer,... to "pray" for the light, the "a-ha" moment... when the meaning becomes clear.. when the sun rises over the horizon and you say, "There it is!... THAT'S what I was looking for!"... When everything becomes "new"... for the very first time...

Uncle Ray's Potato Chips

2010-04-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

It had been a long day of recording. I had been laying down tracks for my "Flying Sheep" CD, had spent a good part of the day recording sheep sounds at the local fairgrounds (that's a whole 'nother blog right there)..... and so I really hadn't eaten much that day. I was driving home late at night and stopped into the local "Get It And Get Out" store... (That's what I like to call those places). It was just a truck stop/mini mart type of thing.... Anyway, being the health-food nut that I am, I headed straight for the candy/potato chips/beef jerky/Ho-Ho's aisle...
I was rifling through a display of potato chips and saw that they had some called, "Ray's Potato Chips". Hmmmm... never tried those before, ... so I grabbed a bag and headed for the checkout. And then,... while I was walking towards the counter, I just happened to turn the bag around and read the back of it. I was shocked at what I saw. I was dumfounded. I was dismayed... I was taken aback, I was blown-away...... (O.K.., I think you get the picture)..... It's a lot easier if I just let you "read" the back of the potato chip bag for yourself:......so here goes....

"On a very cold January day in Detroit, Bob Jenkins and a fellow Detroit Edison electrician were driving to a job site. Bob saw two young men by the roadside and asked his buddy to stop the truck. They were both shivering. Neither young man had a coat, sweater, or gloves. They looked very cold. Bob took off his coat and put it on one of them and handed his knit cap and gloves to the other. When he got back in the truck, his buddy said, "What are you going to do? We have to work outside at the Sub Station." Bob said, "I'll be o.k."
Bob has always been my hero. I have seen his kindness and consideration for others all my life.
My brother is now with our Lord Jesus Christ. He is experiencing what our Lord has promised us all,... life everlasting in Paradise for all who believe in Him."

It was hard for me to fathom that someone would actually write a eulogy for his brother and then have it printed and distributed nation-wide on a bag of potato chips! Ray must have really loved his brother...

As another "Bob Jenkins" it was a sober reminder that one day, I too, shall shed this mortal coil (don't ask me about "mortal coil" stuff.... I read it somewhere and it sounded kind of cool). Anyway....I just pray that IF someone takes the time to write a eulogy for me that they have noticed the changes in my life over the years, my feeble attempts to live-out the God-given life that I am blessed with... to hopefully to have seen Jesus working in me. As someone once said, "If I'm ever arrested for being a Christian, I hope there's enough evidence to get me convicted".

Thanks Ray, for reminding me of my tenuous grip on this life, and the miracle that awaits in the life to come.... eternal life through Jesus Christ.

I had to smile at Ray's parting words:

"You have a choice when choosing potato chips and snacks. From my family to yours, thank you for choosing Uncle Ray's."

Co-Dependent Part 2

2010-04-18T14:38:00.001-07:00

We had a middle-age woman in our family counseling session talking about how she would get in her car at night and cruise the part of town where there was a lot of drugs and crime, hoping to find her son, hoping to rescue him. She could imagine herself storming the "drug-house" in the middle of the night, scooping up her son, bringing him home, nursing him back to health, ... if she could only "rescue" him..... all would be right with the world.
Parents, especially women, are more often than not, lead by the heart... and are often led into this type of insane behavior. Fathers, I believe, are just as affected by a son or daughter lost into the world of drugs, but they tend to keep their emotions more bottled-up inside. Someone has to be the "strong one" and try to keep things in control.
Life with an addict, whether it's a son, daughter, husband, wife, (father or mother),...even a close friend, can become a roller-coaster of ride of emotions. We don't respond well when we can't "control" the situation. We tend to so immerse ourselves into the lives of those we want to control that we fail to look after ourselves in the process.
It's been scientifically proven that someone who is in a co-dependent relationship with an addict often becomes as sick, or sometimes, more sick, than the addict themselves. The addict is happy to stay on the "Chemical Vacation" and is oblivious to the hurt and anxiety that they are causing to those they love. The non-addict family member (at least not chemically an addict), is caught up in all the emotions of hurt, anger, betrayal, frustration, worry,...etc., but, they don't have the same escape from reality that the addict has. This can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as migraine headaches, ulcers, muscle spasms, spastic colon, more colds and flu, sinus conditons, ...etc., ...just a general decline in physical health from all the worry and sleepless nights and anxiety about the future. Waiting for that 3 A.M. phone call from the police... or the hospital... night after night after night.....can take it's toll.
When an addict finally reaches their "bottom" and gets into the process of recovery, they normally get connected to a healthy support system (such as Alcoholics Anonymous), where they can learn about their disease, the recovery process, and find tools to help them navigate the path ahead. For the co-dependent family member this is just as important... to find a healthy support system... to help them understand the dynamics of addiction and the role they should play in supporting (and often NOT supporting), the addict in their life. Whether the addict ever seeks help of not, it is vitally important for the family to be involved in a family support group or some type. Family members need to be counseled in effective ways to deal with the ongoing problems associated with having an addict/alcoholic loved-one. Al-Anon and Alateen are two very important programs for family members.

The bottom line is this: We, whoever we may be, or even how much we care and try to do, do not have the power to control the life of another person. This is a hard truth to accept. Often, in our efforts to "control" the addict/alcoholic, we are actually making it harder for that person to seek the help they so desperately need. We don't help the addict by constantly bailing him or her out of bad situations which are caused by their addiction. Just like the addict eventually has to do, family members need to learn to "Let go and let God" be in control.
There is a lot of good information on the internet that speaks about Co-Dependency. If you find yourself relating to this situation I hope you will do some research on the subject, reach out and get help for yourself and the other family members who are suffering ...along with the addict. Addiction... IS...a family disease.....

Co-Dependent.... Part 1

2010-04-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

This week's blog gives a big tip'O' The Hat to Sharon Hersh. If you or someone you love is dealing with addiction problems then I highly recommend that you go and get a copy of: "The Last Addiction" by Sharon A. Hersh.

You might be in a Co-Dependent relationship with someone if this describes your life with them....

We....... nag; lecture; scream; holler; cry; beg; bribe; coerce; hover over; protect; accuse; chase after; run away from; try to talk into; try to talk out of; attempt to induce guilt in; seduce; entrap; check on; demonstrate how much we've been hurt; hurt people in return so they'll know how it feels; threaten to hurt ourselves; whip power plays on; deliver ultimatums to; do things for; refuse to do things for; stomp out on; get even with; whine; vent fury on; act helpless; suffer in loud silence; try to please; lie; do sneaky little thing; do sneaky big things; clutch at our hearts and threaten to die; grab our heads and threaten to go crazy; beat on our chests and threaten to kill; enlist the aid of supporters; gauge our words carefully; sleep with; refuse to sleep with; have children with; bargain with; drag to counseling; drag out of counseling; talk mean about; talk mean to; insult; condemn; pray for miracles; pay for miracles; go to places we don't want to go; stay nearby to supervise; dictate; command; complain; write letters about; write letters to; stay home and wait for; go out and look for; call all over looking for; drive down dark alleys at night hoping to see; chase down dark alleys hoping to catch; run down alleys at night to get away from..... placate; provoke; try to make jealous; try to make afraid; remind; inquire; hint; look through pockets; peek into wallets; search dresser drawers; dig through glove boxes; look into toilet tanks; try to look into the future; search through the past; call relatives about; reason with; settle issues once and for all; settle them again; punish; reward; almost give up; try even harder; and a list of other handy maneuvers I've either forgotten or haven't tried yet.....

Many of these behaviors are common relationship issues, but, loving an addict takes everything to a whole new level and can be more than a full-time job. Then we wonder why life with an addict is so..... hard.

To be continued next week.....

The Women Of Easter

2010-04-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

Every year, during the Easter Season, Christians around the world celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some believe in a literal, physical resurrection and see Christ's Resurrection as a precursor of things to come... a literal, physical resurrection for ALL people. Then, on the flip side, there are a lot of folks who believe that the resurrection story is simply a metaphor... just as springtime signals a resurrection from the death-like grip of the winter season. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it is both. It's up to each individual to decide for themself what they choose to accept as fact and what they choose to accept as fiction.
I've read through the account of the resurrection in the Gospels dozens of times over the years and each time it seems there are things to consider that I had never seen or contemplated before. One of those things is the involvement of the women in the story of the resurrection.
In first century Palestine, women were considered "second class citizens". They were more or less included in the same category as the slaves of that era. They couldn't vote on anything and they couldn't testify in a trial because their testimony would never be accepted in any legal matter.
What I find most interesting about the gospel accounts (Matthew chapter 28, Mark chapter 16, Luke chapter 25 and John chapter 20).... all four gospels are written by men and each account gives the testimony that it was "women" who first encountered the resurrected Jesus, and it was the "women" who first actually believed it was true. The "men" needed a lot more convincing. All four gospels are written to be read as historical, factual narratives as to the events surrounding the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Mathew, Mark, Luke and John are trying to convince us that what happened, actually happened.
Now... here's the puzzler: If these guys were trying to "make up" an elaborate, almost unbelievable story, simply to embellish a fairy-tale, it seems ludicrous that they would make the chief witnesses (or at least the "first" witnesses) of the resurrection.... women. I can almost hear the conversation the writers might have with themselves: "Now, if I say it was 'women' who were the first witnesses of the resurrection, then I will have lost all credibility with my readers. Maybe I should just leave them out of the story.... Maybe I should just say it was 'Peter' or 'John' or 'Bubba the gardener' or 'Phil the tombstone-maker' to whom Jesus first appeared. Yeah, that's the ticket!... But ...then again, ...that wouldn't be the 'truth'....Do I want to write the truth.. or do I want to write my version of what I would have liked to have had happen?.... I could make MY version of the truth much more acceptable and actually 'believable.' " What to do... what to do....?
I think it was quite a dilemma for those first-century evangelists....
Personally, I'm glad they wrote it the way they did.... just told it the way it happened... and, as we say now in these modern times, "Let the chips fall where they may"... To a first-century writer, I think it was a tough decision to make.
I'm glad winter is finally over. It's been a rough one. Spring looks mighty good to me this year....
Hope you all have a great week ahead of you....

For those of you living here in K.C. or the surrounding area, I will be playing this coming Friday at Homer's Coffeehouse in Overland Park.. 7:30.. Come on out if you can....

The "One Thing" Rule

2010-03-28T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a songwriter. Over the years I had aquired a lot of books that are supposed to tell me how to become a "successful" writer. By "successful" I know they mean..... makin' MONEY with your music!.... I was looking over the list of book authors one day and suddenly realized that most of them had names that I never see on the Billboard Top 100 Chart listed as writers on any of the songs. Well.... duh.... I guess if I never write a hit song at least I can write a BOOK about how to write hit songs. I'll title it "How To (Not)...the "not" being in really, really, really.... small print....Write A Hit Song!....
Anyway.... one thing I DID get from one of the books with this advice: "You should do "one thing" every day towards making yourself a better (read..."successful").. songwriter. That "one thing" doesn't have to be anything really big. The author (who actually HAD a couple of fairly sizeable hit songs)... said it could be something as simple as.... write down a song title,... buy a little tape recorder to record your ideas on,... change your guitar strings,... write or call a music publisher and try to start making a connection,....buy a book on "How To Become A HIT Songwriter!"..... etc.. I thought it was pretty good advice, actually, good advice no matter what your particular hobby or aspiration might be.
Well... I then got to thinking about how that was good advice simply for living. In an earlier blog I wrote called, "Barn Building" (you can go back and read it if you like),... I said how I wanted to make this a year of trying to make a difference in other folks lives, trying to be more positive and more helpful and less negative and complaining. Some days I'm fairly successful. Other days.... well, ....let's not go there right now......
So, this book got me to thinking that I should try to do "one thing" every day to make myself a better human being. And, it doesn't have to be something "really big". I could start out simply by carrying a 300 pound woman down a thousand foot ladder to rescue her from a raging, burning building.... (o.k. maybe that's not a good example)....
I COULD start by simply doing things like: holding the door open for someone at the supermarket.... calling a friend to check on him/her to see how they're doing..... writing a thank you note to someone.... telling the waitress at the I-Hop that she's doing a great job and leaving a nice tip.....giving my wife a hug, just for putting up with me... (that will really freak her out)....
The "one thing" doesn't have to be earth-shattering... but added up, over time, I think it could be at least, in some small way, world-changing for ME. I'm sure as you're reading this you can think of lots of "little things" you can do today at home or at work or at the local market to make someone else's life a little brighter. I'm at least willing to give it a try. Some days I know I'll fail.. but some days I know I will make a difference. And,... some day.. I WILL write a HIT song! ( I say this because my publisher reads my blogs..... Hi Patricia!)..... And today I just want to say "one thing"... thanks for being my publisher and....friend.....I appreciate all you do! (Now, get out there and pitch, pitch, pitch....)...... I hope everyone has a great week!

Love Those Tests!

2010-03-18T17:03:00.000-07:00

The folks at my church asked me if I would talk to the "young'uns" about drug use and addiction. So, I decided that a good way to go about stirring up some discussion would be to put together this short (but sweet) true and false test. I thought it might be interesting if I were to put it up as one of my blogs (that, and the fact that I'm running out of wonderful, clever things to say.....:-)

So.... here ya' go... take the quiz, and, if you get a bad score I will write all over it with RED (politically incorrect) indelible marker!.... the answers are at the end... don't look and cheat or God will strike you down on the spot. (He does things like that for ... cheating, lying, stealing, watching any t.v. program that features Rosie O'Donnell , listening to Lady Gaga's music,...and basically admiring anything done by Paris Hilton)......

True OR False

1. The use of alcohol has been around for thousands of years.

2. ALL drugs affect the brain

3. Alcohol isn't really considered a "drug"

4. Smoking cigarettes is a way of introducing a drug into the brain

5. Some drugs make a person feel more "stimulated"

6. Some drugs depress the central nervous system

7. Of all the mind-altering substances available, alcohol has caused the most damage to societies.

8. Alcoholism is recognized as a "disease" by the American Medical Association

9. Some people can use a particular drug their entire life and never become addicted.

10. Coca Cola contains a drug

11. Coca Cola was named after the drug cocaine.

12. A person can drink so much alcohol at one time that it can cause death

13. Over a hundred-million Americans drank alcohol last month

14. Around 40% of fatal traffic accidents involve drugs and alcohol.

15. My job as a drug and alcohol counselor is to try to get a drug addict or alcoholic to use drugs responsibly.

16. There is no "cure" for alcoholism

17. ALL drugs either inhibit or enhance chemicals that are already present in the human body.

18. According to Al Gore, all addictions are caused by Global Warming (o.k. this is a trick question).... you should probably go with "True".....

Answers: 1.T 2. T. 3.F 4.T 5.T 6.T 7.T 8.T 9.T 10.T 11.T 12.T 13.T 14.T 15.F

16.T 17.T 18.?

The 12 Steps of A.A.

2010-03-14T14:49:00.000-07:00

After posting about a dozen blogs on a website called, "12 Steps And A Winding Road", it occurred to me that there were a lot of readers who were not familiar with the 12-Step Program. Some might wonder... "Why would someone subject themselves to following a path like this?"

When someone comes into a 12-Step Program it is most often a "last resort" to try and get past an addiction of some kind....alcohol, drugs (although alcohol IS a drug), sexual compusions, gambling, eating disorders, internet addiction, etc.... More often than not, the decision is surrender to a Spiritual program or suffer further loss, even perhaps death. The 12-Step program was developed by the founders of A.A. and is based on some basic Christian principles.

I thought, as I continue to blog about addiction and various life issues that it would be good to lay out exactly what the 12 steps are. For some of you it will be "old hat", and for some it will be the first time you've seen them......Try to imagine, if you will, how they might apply to your own life, whether you're in a recovery program or not.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (insert your own addiction/struggle)...and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God (as we understood Him).

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God (as we understand Him), praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out.

12. Having had a Spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to alcoholics (as originally written), and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Community

2010-03-07T19:26:00.000-08:00

Recently I had the privilege of being in a group of men who shared their struggles in recovery from various addictions, hurts and hangups in their lives. One of the men made a profound statment during the meeting: "If I tell you the whole truth about who I am, and you reject me, then I am totally lost...because that's all I've got."
That's all I've got......
This is the human condition summed up succinctly by one who knows that he/she is broken... knows that he/she doesn't meet the "qualifications" to receive love or compassion from others. Another way of describing how we feel about our broken-ness is "self-hatred". We hate it that we are the person that we are, and the way we feel about ouselves is easily transferred to those around us... meaning: If that's the way we see ourselves, then that is how the rest of the world must obviously see us...as unworthy of acceptance, let alone... "unconditonal love".
That's what feeds the cycle of addiciton. I feel guilty... therefore I drink/drug/(insert your own hangup)... this makes me feel more guilty, therefore I drink/drug...and this makes me feel guilty....etc. It most often becomes an endless cycle... the mode of living, a way of coping... a way of not feeling.
Sharon Hersh talks about this in her book, "The Last Addiction", and she says that "healing takes place only in community". The Last Addiction is, in fact, addiction to "self". She says that we end up trying to fix ourselves "with" our broken selves. What she is saying is that it is not possible to do so. Only when we reveal ourselves for the broken persons(s) that we are, in the safety of "community, is there the possibility of getting out of ourselves and into a life of transparency, healing,.. wholeness.
This is why A.A. has been the most successful of any program to redeem alcoholics. There is "community"... a common bond of broken-ness that is shared...experience, strength and hope.
Alcoholics Anonymous was started by two people.. Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob. Two people.... TWO people!... I wanted to emphasize this fact. It only took two people who shared a common struggle with alcohol to experience strength and hope. When Bill Wilson first approached Dr. Bob, the good doctor told him flat-out... "If you are here to help me, then I must tell you,...you can't. I've tried everything. I can't get sober. I am dying from alcoholism".
Then, Bill Wilson said, (I paraphrase)... I'm not here to help you... I'm here to help ME. I just need someone to talk to. I'm also an alcoholic. I just need someone who understands me." The two men unded up talking for hours on end. They shared their "experience", their "feelings about themselves".... and, in doing so, they found the strength and hope, and ability, to not drink.... that day...
And the next day.... And the next day..... And the next day.... One day at a time.
And the two became three. And the three became four... and today there are chapters of Alcoholics Anonymous all around the world. Men and women who have found one another in the common bond of human struggle...who have compassion for one another....who have love for one another, not "in spite of" who they are, but "because' of who they are.
The cry of the human heart. "Please accept me for who I am... the way I am. If you can't..then I am alone. I am completely lost.... because...that's all I've got."
The guys in that room the other night knew. The "wounded healers". They knew they were accepted. They knew they were loved... not in spite of their broken-ness, but "because" of it.
We all were. It was liberating...healing.. it was....grace.

Attitude

2010-02-28T14:27:00.000-08:00

So.... the mayor of this small town is out one afternoon working in his yard when a stranger comes driving down the street. The stranger stops and rolls down his window. Speaking to the mayor (he doesn't actually know it's the mayor)... he says, "Hey, I'm moving to this part of the country and was just wondering about your town. What kind of people live here?"... The mayor says to the stranger, "Well,... what were the folks like where you come from?"... The stranger retorts, "They were horrible.... a bunch of gossips, unfriendly, self-centered, uptight jerks. I'm glad to get away from them." "Well, I'm sorry" says the mayor..."but I'm afraid you wouldn't like it here. The folks in this town are pretty much the same as you descibed." With that, the stranger rolls up his window and drives off....
The next day the mayor is back out in his yard and another strange car pulls up beside him. The stranger in the car rolls down the window and says to the mayor... "Hi stranger. I'm moving to this part of the country and saw the sign for your town... and I was just wondering... what sort of folks live in this town?".... "Well, says the mayor,... "What are the folks like back in the town you come from?" So, the stranger tells the mayor, "I'd have to say they were some very nice people... friendly, kind, extremely generous and hospitable folks... I really hate to leave there but I'm being transferred to a new location because of my job." "Well, says the mayor...I think you'd really love it here because the residents of this town are exactly as you just described." ...
Attitude..... Just how important is it?
My wife and I became part of a church several years ago. It was a small church. The people who attended there were great....friendly, warm and welcoming.... except for one couple. They were an older couple and it seemed as though they were pillars of this church... they had been attending there for years. They didn't say much....I just assumed they were the shy, quiet type.
Now, I'm a bit "different" than what the people in that church were use to... meaning, ... I don't wear suits (not that there's anything wrong with suits).... and, I'm sort of layed-back when it comes to worship. I like the old hymns, but I also like the modern worship songs....and, I have to admit, I kind of like to clown around at times....
When the pastor of this church found out I played the guitar and sang, he asked if I would help out by leading worship once in awhile,... an invitation I was pleased to accept. Also, once in awhile I would dig out my guitar and do a "special", ... usually a song I had written. My songs aren't your typical "churchy" songs but everyone seemed to love them regardless...
One day, the aforementioned couple simply up and left the church. When I asked the pastor why they had left he told me.... "Well, if you must know... I think you were the last straw. They didn't like the clothes you wore to church, the way you led worship or the type of songs you sang for special music."
I was shocked!.... I felt terrible. I was responsible for causing this older couple to quit the church!?.... wow.. bummer... I hardly knew how to respond...
I told the pastor, "I'm really sorry this happened.. I don't know what to say..."
So,.... the pastor looks at me and he says,.... "Hey, don't worry about it. I'm surprised they stayed as long as they did. All they did was gripe and complain about things the whole time they were here. If it wasn't you it would have been something else. I'm sure they will find exactly the right church to fit into."
I found out months later that they did. Sure enough....
Attitiude.
We often don't realize how it affects our lives. The next time someone tells you they are leaving a church, an A.A. group, ... any social community... it might be wise to ask them why. They might have valid reasons. The next time YOU leave a group you might be wise to ask yourself... "Why?" You may have some really good reasons. Then again.......

Gratitude

2010-02-21T11:30:00.001-08:00

The other day I was driving down the road and I notice a sealed package lying next to the curb....so, I quickly made a U-Turn and went back to pick it up. My first thought was, "Wow, what did I just get for FREE?!"
YAY!"... And then, the "other" angel on my shoulder, (the one with the halo), whispered in my ear... "What would Jesus do?".... (I think he even had one of those bracelets on)....
"Shut up,... stupid angel!"....
But, I knew he/she/it (whatever an angel is)... was right. As Spike Lee said in his famous movie, Do The Right Thing, I should..."Do the right thing"... and that "right thing" was to make sure the package got to it's rightful owner...tomorrow...
The next day, (after a non-eventful evening of shaking the box, trying to figure out what was in it), I tossed it into my van and set out to find the company whose address was on the box. Fortunately, the company wasn't too far away...and I found it fairly easily. It was a large, multi-bazillion dollar company... and I couldn't stop myself from thinking, "Hey, maybe there's a big reward for me in returning this!"...
I walked into the main office, package proudly displayed. There, at the desk, was a young lady deeply involved in something vitally imprtant, (like texting her best friend about the previous night's adventures,... or setting up a hair appointment)..... I set the package down and loudly announced, "Hey, I found one of YOUR packages in the street last night... and thought you might want it!"... (smile)...
She took the box from my hands, set it on the desk next to her, said..."yea, thanks"... and went back to whatever non-important thing she was doing.
I was INCREDULOUS!.... "yea,.. thanks?"... That's it?!" I was thinking that perhaps she would call the big boss down to the lobby and say something like,.. I don't know, ... like,... "Hey boss, guess what? This guy found one of our packages lying in the street and WENT ALL THE WAY OUT OF HIS WAY TO FIND US AND DELIVER IT.... PERSONALLY!!!".... And then, the big boss would say,... "WOW,.. thanks so much for doing that!. We REALLY APPRECIATE IT!... AND,.. by the way, why don't we buy you lunch or give you a lucrative position with our company...or a can of Spam.. or.. something....
Oh well...
Someone once said that we humans always have an ulterior motive for the things we do, even the things that seem altruistic. I think the bottom line is,...we want to be appreciated. I know that I do. It got me to thinking about how I treat other folks. Do I show my appreciation for the simple courtesys shown me?... or am I often oblivious to what goes on around me?... As they say in the Recovery world, "Do I have an Attitude Of Gratitude?"
I have to admit, in my journey through life, it's sometimes difficult to "pay attention" and show gratitude for the many blessings God has bestowed upon me... a great marriage and family, a job I don't hate, decent health, a roof over my head, faithful friends, two cats who love me every time I FEED them,.... eternal life...
I know I often disappoint people because I don't show my appreciation as well or as often as I should. With God's help and grace I pray to be more aware of this lack in my life. And, the next time I find an unopened box on the side of the road I may just hand it to the angel with the halo and say to him... "Here, YOU return it!" (to the snottly little office secretary)....
We'll see. .... The journey continues....

The Dash Between The Dates

2010-02-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

This last fall my wife and I had the opportunity to take a week's vacation in New England. We traveled through Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont. It's a beautiful landscape, with all the changing leaves, and I highly recommend visiting if you get the chance (early fall). One thing that particularly struck me was the old cemeteries. Growing up in Kansas I'm not use to seeing dates in the 1600's. Here lies Sara Safford, 1685-1723.....Andrew Smith, 1709-1729.... James Hartford, 1690-1742......and so on.
Cemetery headstones have one thing in common.... the "dash" between the dates. A person's entire life history is, in it's finality, summed-up in the chisled-out, two inch line. Some lines represent an infant, representing a life that ended much too early... while other lines represent decades of love, laughter, earthly pursuits, hopes and dreams.
In the Bible, James (the brother of Jesus) writes in his letter to fellow believers.... "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14). The apostle Peter echoes this sentiment in his epistle by quoting the Old Testament Prophet, Isaiah: "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of the Lord stands forever." (First Peter 1:24).
The dash between the dates is a stark reminder that it's too easy to sum up the total of our lives by a simple line carved in stone. We are given the tremendous opportunity, in this life, of writing the content of our lives by the choices we do (or don't) make. Without a doubt our lives are confined by the circumstances we find ourselves in .... the time and place of our birth, our biological family, our physical, mental and financial limitations, etc.. but, we still have the capability to choose how we will respond to the circumstances surrounding us. At the beginning of this writing I was unaware that there was actually a poem called "The Dash". It was written by Linda Ellis and I think it says all we need to consider as we wake up every day, pen in hand, ready to write another line, another paragraph, another page,...another chapter... in the book of our lives....

THE DASH... by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At a funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not how much we own
The cars, the house, the cash
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile
Remembering this special dash
Might only last a little while

So when your euology is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spend your dash?

History Lessons

2010-02-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

Last week I talked about how, as a youth, my personal history intersected with the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., and how, at the time, it didn't have much of an effect on me. I believe history is important, as in the old saying, "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it".
We had a young fellow in drug and alcohol treatment who seemed unreachable. For days on end he wouldn't speak up at meetings, kept to himself, and put up an invisible wall that we couldn't scale. One day, out of the blue, during a group meeting, he simply announced, "I shouldn't be here... I'm not insane!"....
We kept the 12 Steps of Recovery taped to the wall of the treatment center for everyone to see. It seems that Step #2 had been the stumbling block to this young fellow since day one. Step # 2 reads: "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"....
It was obvious that the particular wording of the second step could have a double meaning. Most people would define insanity as a defect of brain function, which makes a person incapable of knowing right from wrong, or real from unreal, whether it's a psychological phenomenon or a problem with organic brain chemistry.
In A.A., the term "insanity" is given a different interpretation. It is described as: "Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results". What we are trying to do in A.A. is revisit "history", looking back at our actions and responses, particularly in the use of addictive substances, and seeing how the pattern of such use is affecting our lives. The insanity of alcoholism (or any addiction) is the inability to see how what we are doing by pursuing our particular obsession is ruining our chance at living a normal life. We, as counselors, are hoping that in the 30 day treatment program, there might come a moment of clarity....an "aha" moment when the light comes on and the person sees clearly, perhaps for the first time, that their drug use has blinded them to a whole new world. It may sound like a simple matter for most people (the unaddicted), but for the person who lives their life in an obsessive state, it's an earth-shattering event.
Once this young fellow actually understood what we were meaning by using the word "insanity", it became a door-opener for him. He finally understood what it might mean to revisit his "history" and see how doing the same thing over and over and over again would keep him in a life-cycle of despair and heartache.
Recovery is a life-long process, and , often along the journey, it is necessary to "play the tape back", or revisit our "history" to remind us of where we were, where we are now, and how far we have come. Sometimes it may seem like it's "two steps forward, one step backward"(or visa-versa), ...but it's ALL steps, and each one is just as important as the next. The important thing is to keep walking, keep believing, and to turn our mistakes into tools of learning... history lessons.

From A Birmingham Jail

2010-01-31T18:08:00.000-08:00

Recently the old Empire Theater was completely remodeled after years of neglect and decay and re-opened as "The Mainstreet Theater". It was a grand old movie house in it's day, and it was the first job I ever worked...as an usher. I shouldn't have been able to get a job back then, but I lied about my age (15), and they hired me.
One night, right in the middle of a showing of "2001, A Space Odyssey", the management made a special announcement..... the theater needed to be cleared out and shut down immediately. There was rioting going on in the streets, all across the city. Folks were told to leave and go home. The police were out in full force. It was a very chaotic few days following that unusual night.
When you're a young, white teenager growing up in the late 1950's/early 60's you mind is on girls, cars, clothes and partying (at least mine was). It definitely wasn't dwelling on racial issues, particularly segregation and racial equality.
Recently we celebrated a national holiday honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I decided, after all these years, to read something that Dr. King penned many years ago,... in 1963 to be exact. It is called, "Letter from a Birmingham Jail", which he addressed to fellow clergymen from his jail cell after being arrested on the trumped-up charge of "parading without a permit". Dr. King had been summoned to Birmingham to participate in a non-violent demonstration against segregation in that large southern city. Some of his contemporaries in the Churchwere upset with him for stirring up the local government by organizing some of the demonstrations, consisting mainly of sitting at lunch counters reserved for "whites only".
Dr. King, through his letter, defends his actions and makes sterling arguments for the use of non-violent resistance to bring about social justice. He claimed that "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere".
The black experience in America, especially in the South, had been brought to a boiling point and the non-violent demonstrations were simply to bring to the surface the brutality was was already present in the society. Televised scenes of water canons, billy clubs and attack dogs, methods used by the police on the peaceful protesters, changed the hearts and minds of a great number of Americans and became a tipping point in the fight for racial equality.
One paragraph in the letter which paticularly struck me was this one.....
"When you find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see the ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: "Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?";... when you take a cross-country drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable confines of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading "white" and "colored",' when your first name becomes "nigger", your middle name becomes "boy" (however old you are), and your last name becomes "John", and your wife and mother are never given the respected title, "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you're a Negro...... there comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair".....

Startling, elegant words....

That night in 1968 was an extraordinary time in history and, at the time, I could not, did not, appreciate it for the history that it was. I was just an ignorant teenager, trying to enjoy a nice, spring evening in April, totally unaware of the implications of what was happening at a Memphis motel, hundreds of miles away, where a remarkable man, struggling to bring peace into a hostile environment, was the target of a sniper's bullet.... Now I know.
I would encourage anyone reading this blog today to take some time out to read "Letter from a Birmingham jail". I'm sorry that it took me so long to get around to reading this wonderful letter, ... a plea for peaceful change in a time of great human animosity and turmoil.

"Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty"... Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood,
Martin Luther King, Jr.

To read the letter in it's entirety you can click on the link below...

http://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html

Have a great week!

Old Friends

2010-01-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

My friend, Stan, was an extrovert. He played piano, wrote wonderful songs, and was one of the few artists who could literally bring me to tears with his warmth, humor and love of ministering grace into the lives of others through his music and stories. His was a special gift, and his gift opened the door for him to move hundreds of miles away to become the music and youth minister of a large church in the southern part of the United States. I missed our times together, especially our meals. Stan loved to eat, especially barbeque, and it "showed" (if you get my meaning)..... Let's just say that Stan fit the physical definition of "jovial".
After he had been gone for a few years I found myself one day in his city on business and gave him a phone call, hoping to catch up on old times and see what he was up to. We met for lunch at a BBQ restaurant (naturally). It was good to see him again... but, there was something different about him. He wasn't the old Stan that I once knew. He was much more somber, less talkative, less...vibrant. We ordered our food and drinks and eased into some light conversation. How was his wife?.... She had some health issues, but doing o.k.... How were his step-kids? They were doing fine. How was his job going?.... Stan looked down at his plate and didn't say anything for a
for a few seconds. "I lost my job" he said. "Really?... I'm so sorry. What happened?"... Stan looked at me.... "I lost my job... I lost my ministry... I lost my church... I think... I've lost my way.".... Wow! I did NOT expect this!.... Stan opened-up to me and told me that somewhere along the way he had fallen into a particular sin, which had become an addiction...and that he had lost control. He had, inexplicably, become addicted to shoplifting. It had been going on for quite some time. When he was finally caught and, (horror of horrors......arrested)... the truth had finally come out into the open. His home church soon found out about it and had tossed him out on his "r" ear. (There's an old saying that "the Church is the only organization that shoots it's wounded.")... I don't think that's always the case, but too often... it is. Instead of discipline, counseling and loving restoration, they had simply dismissed him. He had "fallen from grace". (Not God's Grace... just "man's" grace...small "g".
I told Stan I was sorry that it had happened... but that I understood. There was a time in my life when I too, had inexplicably found myself caught-up in an addiction that I felt I couldn't escape. Alcoholism and drug addiction is often described as a "cunning and baffling" disease. I think that is just the way it is with sin.... so cunning that when we let down our guard and get involved with it we are simply "baffled" by our inability to explain the loss of control we experience.
Our half-hour lunch turned into about three hours of just sharing our experience, strength and hope. We encouraged one another. Most of all, we confirmed that anything we receive from God, including our freedom from sin, guilt and shame, is indeed,...a gift. We sometimes (often) must be reminded that we are ALL sinners....saved by "Grace alone". When we stumble and fall (oh, dear reader...you will)....we need to remind ourselves that we can fall from man's grace, but never from God's Grace.
When we finally broke up our meeting, we hugged each other, shed a few tears, and told each other that we would pray for each other. I knew from that meeting the exact nature of what the Bible describes as "fellowship". We had shared things about each other that perhaps we had never told another human being. We loved each other "with the love of Christ". It was a meeting that I will never forget...and never want to forget.
Several months later I received a phone call from Stan's wife. Stan had suffered a massive heart attach and was...dead. He had gone to be with The Lord. (That's how the Bible describes it). "To be absent from the body is to be present with The Lord")... The news saddened me, but I take great comfort in knowing that Stan is finally in the presence of The One who holds him tight and tells him how much his is loved.... for all eternity...
My old friend... I look forward to the day when we shall meet again. And we shall sing together once again, songs of peace and joy. And God will wipe away every tear....

Friends are friends forever
If the Lord is Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's Hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

(from the song, "Friends" by Michael W. Smith).....

The Serenity Prayer

2010-01-17T12:09:00.000-08:00

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
I've prayed this prayer often in my life, searching for that elusive "serenity" (peace) in times when my life seemed backed into a corner with no escape...the "Let go and let God" admonition that we so often are instructed to practice. Also praying for the courage to change the things I have the ability to change. Often this is in the area of "making amends", trying to right a wrong from the past. It definitely takes courage to reach back into our past and ask forgiveness from another human being...and, sometimes... having to repay a monetary debt. It's a humbling, yet liberating experience.
The prayer for "wisdom" is also vitally important, especially in the pursuit of making amends. As it says in the Big Book Of A.A., "Making amends to people wherever possible, "except" when to do so whould injure them or others."... Most people do this with the help of a sponsor, or mentor, someone who has already been there, done that, and knows which situations to tackle and which to simply "let be". One can make amends in ways other than digging up the past.
The author of the Serenity Prayer was 20th Century theologian, Reinhold Neibuhr. Born in Missouri in 1882, he died in 1971. During his lifetime Reinhold Neibuhr was the best-known Christian intellectual in the United States. His writings influenced such luminaries as Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy. Professor Neihbur was an advocate for social justice and used his personal faith in Jesus Christ to try and advance humane working conditions in the booming industrial age, particularly in the automotive manufacturing industry. A man of great faith, he was also keenly aware of the sinfulness of man and the need for a spiritual, supernatural change in the human heart. His total surrender to his God was the impetus for writing the inspiring Serenity Prayer. The prayer has become a standard in opening and closing A.A. and other various meetings for years. Most people think that the prayer consists simply of the lines mentioned in my opening. Actually, the prayer is somewhat lengthier and I would like to present it to you in it's original form...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, taking, as HE did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next..... Amen"

The Love Chapter

2010-01-10T20:11:00.000-08:00

First Corinthians, chapter 13, is known mostly as the "Love Chapter". The apostle Paul is writing this letter to the Church in Corinth, encouraging them to love one another and making the point by distinguishing between "works" and "grace". If I "do" this, or If I "give" this...but don't have love, then I'm just faking it. Love is the most noble of graces....as Paul says, "the most excellent way".
My son, Nate, recently got married and his brother, Seth, read the Love Chapter at the wedding. A lot of weddings include at least a portion of this chapter in the ceremony.
My friend, Jim Mathis, is a writer, musician and photo artist. He has cleverly re-worded the Love Chapter for "Musicians". I thought this was brilliant and I wanted to share it with everyone on my email list. It just goes to show that the truth of the Word of God is relevant no matter what our station is in life. As a singer/songwriter, is sure got my attention.....
Ist Corinthians 13.... paraphrased for musicians by Jim Mathis

If I have the most gorgeous voice in the world, but have not love, I might as well be beating on a trash can. If I have perfect pitch and know all there is to know about chords and harmonies and have mastered the last detail of music theory, but have not love, I am nothing. If I play in prisons, concert halls, churches and arenas, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient to those less skilled. Love treats the audience with respect. Love does not need a Martin D-45 and a stack of Marshall amps. Love is not arrogant nor does it show false humility. Love does everything possible to please the audience. It doesn't get upset when it can't hear the monitors or if somebody is out of tune. Love does not brood over last nights gig. Loves does not enjoy seeing somebody else bomb, but wants everyone to rock. Loves takes care of other musicians and is always trying to improve.
If there is love, there is no failures. Great players lose their chops, great singers lose their voices, great songs are forgotten, but love will never die.
We will never get it right here on earth, but when we get to heaven, the whole set will be nailed.
When I was a child, I dinked around on my instrument, but when I became a man, I played with passion. Now I hear like a cheap speaker. In heaven it will be 10,000 watts and crystal clear. Now I have to look for the chords. Then, they will all fall under my fingers and Jesus Christ will hear each note of worship played for Him.
And now three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.....

You can click on the link below to read the original blog and read more of the inspired ramblings of Jim Mathis...
http://www.skyblueband.net/1stCorinth13.htm

If you enjoy reading my Monday morning blogs and think of others who might be interested please pass on my link to your friends.... thanks and God Bless...
Bob Jenkins www.12stepsandawindingroad.com

Forest Green

2010-01-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

Pacific Blue...and Forest Green...
Color rolling ocean waves and summer leaves....
This is the beginning lyric of a song I wrote called, "CRAYONS"....
You can hear the entire song at: http://songramp.com/Flyingsheep
I think Freud was onto something when he talked about how the mind sometimes works "subliminally".
I was probably somewhere between 8 and 10 years old (5th or 6th grade?)... When sometime mid-year a new kid showed up in school one day. His name was Forest Green... (and, no, I'm not making this up). Forest Green was a lot different than the rest of us classmates. He seemed to wear the same clothes every day to school, he was unkempt and quiet... pretty much kept to himself. Also, at our school we had "hot lunches". Back then I believe it cost 50 cents a day if you wanted to eat a cafeteria lunch. I think most of us kids did...except for Forest. He brought his lunch in a paper sack (I think it was the same papter sack every day)... One day I just happened to notice that all he had in his sack was a bologna sandwich...maybe it was peanut butter...the exact memory fails me. All I know is that, in my world, at that time, Forest Green was very "different" than me. I do know that I (and the rest of the class) pretty much left him to himself. We probably made fun of him and teased him... the way kids are prone to do when they encounter someone quite unlike themselves. Forest was only in our midst for a short time...probably a few weeks at the most. One day I came to school and he was simply "gone". Looking back I imagine that his family was poor and transient and the father (if there was one in the home) probably lost a job and they had to move on.
Sometimes, even now, a half-century later, I find myself wondering what ever happened to that young boy who moved in and out of my life like a wisp of smoke. Did he ever escape the cycle of poverty? Did he end up in a juvenile facility? Prison? ... Did he ever find love? ... get married?... Does he have kids?... Is he even still alive?
In First Corinthians 13, the "Love" Chapter, it reads: "When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me." Sometimes, when I think about Forest, it makes me wonder... Have I really? Have I put childish ways "behind me"?... as an adult?
It seems that God, in His infinite wisdom, has always provided Forest Greens who periodically move in and out of my life... those "Ragamuffins" of society who somehow always show up unexpectedly and inconveniently in all their scruffiness and unlikeableness. Jesus was constantly criticized by the religious leaders of His time for not only hanging out with, but embracing the poor, the downtrodden, the lepers, the dregs of "society". When I read the Gospels I can't help but be taken by the fact that God loves ragamuffins. As a follower of Jesus (yes, I try)... I'm embarassed to admit that I, more often than not, still yearn to "cling to my childish ways". I still want to run the other direction when I see someone "different" than the person I think I am. ("I THINK I am") being the key phrase. God help me.... to see the worth in every human being created in YOUR image!... Help me "grow up" and put away the foolishness of childhood. Father, forgive me....Forest...forgive me. For not being there for you when you desperately needed a kind word...when all you wanted was someone to care... just another little kid who would play catch with you or sit down and share his lunch with you. When you needed...a friend.
I know,... I know... It was years ago. I was just a child back then. But now,...now... I have no excuse.

People Who Inspire

2009-12-27T19:29:00.000-08:00

I love movies. Especially ones that have a good message. Jack Nicholson was in a movie with Helen Hunt called, "As Good As It Gets". Jack's character (Melvin), is an obsessive-compulsive man who has a hard time communicating with other people. As the movie progresses he finds himself romantically attracted to Helen Hunt's character, (Carol), but he is at a loss for words in trying to describe his feelings for her. Finally, in a last-ditch effort to make sense of his feelings he simply says, "You make me want to be a better man". For Carol it is the highest compliment she could have received. It's a wonderful movie and I highly recommend it.
I wanted to write a blog about "authors" who have inspired me over the years. And then, the more I thought about it, I realized that there were actually people in my immediate life who have inspired me to "be a better man". There is the older gentleman in our church whom I watched nurse his wife through 6 years of Alzheimer's Disease... saying the "long goodbye" with a grace that constantly amazed me as I observed his faithfulness, love and tenderness towards her. The young couple who suffered a great loss of one of their children...and did so without wavering in their faith in a loving God and His promise that "this is not the end of the story". My own pastor, whose messages of redemption through the finished work of Jesus Christ has bolstered my faith tremendously over the years. My good friend who struggled most of his adult life with drug/alcohol addiction but managed his final years of recovery with strength and courage. My two sons, who have grown into compassionate, Godly men that any dad would be proud to have raised. Our family friend, who, despite bad health most of her life has always "been there" when we needed a friend. Anothe friend, who succumbed to cancer a few years ago. She still amazed everyone at her funeral by making even that into a celebration. (She actually bought "baby gifts" for her yet-to-be-married friends). A sterling example of a life well-lived. Then there is my wife, God love her, who has been an amazing example of love and hospitality to others all her life.
I'm sure there are others I haven't mentioned. Thank you ALL for writing a bit of your lives into my life. I can say without a doubt that knowing you has indeed, made me "want to be a better man". As you are reading this, I'm sure there are people brought to mind of whom you could say the same. Sure, there are authors/musicians/writer-muses who have challenged my life and actions through their wonderful songs and literature, but that's nothing compared to witnessing, first-hand,... lives that inspire.

Forgiveness

2009-12-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

My wife and I just saw the film, "Invictus". It is the story of Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela spent almost 30 years in prison in South Africa for protesting the apartheid government, ruled by the white minority. When he was finally released from prison he ran for and won the office of President of South Africa. In most cases this is how repressive, ruthless dictatorships begin...the opportunity to finally get "revenge".
In the case of Nelson Mandela, he surprised everyone by including blacks and whites in his administration, even to the point of hiring white bodyguards, men who, in the past would have been part of the forces that imprisoned he and other family members. Mr. Mandela had learned the secret of "grace" and had been given the gift of forgiveness. Forgiveness is, I believe, the most powerful force in the universe. It is part of that supernatural thing we call "grace". In the 12-Step program (and in everyone's life) there comes a time when we are forced to make a decision.... forgive, or... hold fast to our lust for revenge and vindictiveness. It's one of the toughest decisions you or I will ever make...and one of the most important... for it sets the path of how our future will be played-out. Will we live lives free of bitterness or will we break through that wall and become people of character and persons of love and respect? Nelson Mandela made the right choice and it changed, in some way, the hearts of 43 million people. We are each given the opportunity to follow his example. More importantly, God Himself gave us the supreme example in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ. God, in Christ, came into this world not to condemn it, but to save it. He did so by offering Himself to pay the penalty for our sins...our grudges, our addictions, our self-centeredness. It is through the gift of grace and forgivenss that any of us have the opportunity to change our lives (or, a better way to say it would be to say, to "Let go and let God" change our lives, our hearts. The greatest words every spoken were uttered from the God-man on the cross of Calvary two Millenia ago: "Father, forgive them". If God has forgiven us then who are we to say that we have the right not to forgive others? It's part of the beginning of a remarkable Spiritual journey...

12 Steps... the Music CD

2009-12-15T13:15:00.000-08:00

During the two years that I was pursuing a degree in Addiction Counseling I did my practicum at Mainstream, in Bonner Springs, Kansas. As a songwriter I often was taken by some of the things discussed in group counseling sessions. Often it inspired me to write a song about a particular subject and then I would sing it for the guys at the center. Most of the time I would have great feedback on the song and even had requests for me to put it on a CD or, at least, make them a copy of the lyrics. It was during these two years that I sat in my little basement recording studio and put together the CD, "12 Steps And a Winding Road"... 15 songs of hope and healing for those in recovery. I wrote or co-wrote half of the songs and culled the other songs from some of my favorite songwriters who I felt had written a song which would tie-in to the message of hope. The CD was completed in 2009 and I now have copies available. While I would love to just give them away (and sometimes that happens), I also would like to recoup my financial investment in the recording, paying other musicians, the extensive artwork (full color booklet with lyrics) and the CD productions costs. If you are interested in purchasing a CD they are available for $15 (shipping and handling included) by sending to: Bob Jenkins, P.O. Box 671, Shawnee Mission, Kansas 66201. You can hear some of the songs at: http://songramp.com/Flyingsheep
Also I would love any opportunities to share my time and talent with any groups, organizations or churches that might be interested. email me at: coloringmoses@yahoo.com

I've enjoyed the journey so far and am looking forward to carrying the message of hope and healing to the hurting and suffering, wherever they may be and wherever the road may lead. God Bless

Barn Building

2009-11-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

I noticed that my youngest son, Nate, was busier than usual this year. It seems he was always out someplace helping someone move or tear down a wall or patch or roof or.... whatever needed to be done. I asked him about it one day and he told me it was his "year of barn building". When I asked him what he meant he explained to me how in the Amish Community, whenever someone needed a new barn or their old barn had burned down or been destroyed, the entire community would come together and help them erect a new barn. He told me that this year he had decided that whenever anyone asked him for help, or needed help with a project, and it was something he could do or had time to do, that he would volunteer to help. I thought it was a terrific idea and I was very proud of him that he would simply think of doing something like this without any outside (or ulterior) motivation.
The biggest obstacle to overcoming addiction is coming to the realization that our greatest struggle is addiction to "self". Sharon Hersh delves headlong into this subject in her great book, "The Last Addiction". All of us are driven to "pursue pleasure" and "avoid pain" in life. What we all need to realize is that the Bible speaks a pearl of truth when it says that "it is better to give than to receive". For all of us struggling with recovery from addictions it would be helpful to take a good look at our lives and ask ourselves the question: "Are we still living only for ourselves, or are we using our recovery to reach out to others, to get us out of "ourselves"? I think it's a lesson for all of us. Thanks Nate for the reminder that I am not the center of the universe. Cudos from a proud papa...

12 Steps And A Sick Church

2009-10-24T13:15:00.000-07:00

I had a discussion with my son and mentioned that the 12 Steps of A.A. were something that every church should take a good, hard look at. He told me, "the Church is sick". I agree. The 12 Steps of A.A. mirror the truth of God's Word. Step 1: Admit our powerlessness over our sinful nature and the inability to manage our own lives (this is paraphrased). Step 2. Believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity (or, as in the case of the Church, "save us" from our sin and ourselves. Step 3: Make a decision to turn our lives and our will over the the care of God. In the case of A.A. it's "God as we understand Him/Her/It". As Christians we seem to be able to get through the first two just fine. And then, as we turn our lives over to Christ we bog down on the "will" part. We don't surrender our "will", we just are happy to be "saved and on our way to heaven". In A.A. there is a saying that one has to "reach their bottom" in order to see their true need for intervention. I have found that, in a lot of ways, those in A.A. have a better understanding of "surrendering the will" than those in the Church of Jesus Christ. This enables those in secular "spiritual" groups to continue on in the journey....to make a fearless and searching moral inventory of their lives, admit to God AND another human being the exact nature of their wrongs, to make amends to people they have hurt,... to carry the message of experience, strength and hope to others, etc. The Spiritual live is indeed a "journey", a succession of "steps", if you will. The Church would be wise to take a cue from A.A., N.A., or any of the various recovery groups and live up to what the Bible has been teaching from the beginning....total surrender, examining our lives in the light of God's word, the dire need for fellowship and the gratitude to the saving Grace of Jesus' death, resurrection and forgiveness which enables us to "carry the message" to those who are still hurting and suffering.

Addiction and Worship

2009-10-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

As Bob Dylan so aptly stated, "You Gotta Serve Somebody". For most of us that "somebody" is ourselves. Addiction has been defined as "a state of compulsion and obsession, focusing on one element that will supposedly satisfy." All human beings are born with a God-shaped hole in their souls and most of us spend our lives trying our best to fill this hole with "something that satisfies", be it money, power over others, a beautiful body, prestigious job,.....drugs, alcohol, sex. In Sharon A. Hersh wonderful book, "The Last Addiction" she states: "The definition (of addiction) is incomplete, however, because it leaves out the heart of addiction. Addiction goes deeper than obsession and compulsion. It is worship. It is giving my heart and soul over to something that I believe will ease my pain and provide an outlet for my fury at being out of control in a world that hurts me, scares me, or leaves me alone...." I find this to be true in my own life. It's a constant battle to try and "not" fill my life with pursuits in which I try to find my ultimate comfort and identity. I must leave it up to God to not only design my life but to fill my life with Himself. I do have an identity and it is in being a son of God through faith in Jesus Christ. When we come to a place in our lives where we can truly long to hear the words from the lips of Christ Himself, "Well done, good and faithful servant", only then can we re-direct our lives in such a way that we can find fulfillment in this life and the life to come. The Bible says it is better to "give than to receive". I believe that's the secret to overcoming our obsessions. We must first learn to "give" our lives over to God and His purposes and then, in turn, to be able to "give" of ourselves to others in a position of servanthood. This is our true act of worship and it takes us out of ourselves and into the realm of healing and wholeness.